Sweet Things, Greedy Hands
by R3-1 M4y3r
Summary: Catherine hadn't been lucky when it came to her family. The only one who mattered to her was her brother and once he got involved with the Sons, he uninvolved himself from her life. When things turns to shit she still goes to him, hoping he'd let her back in. But getting back in means being a part of his new family as well.
1. Distant Time

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I've come to realize today that Valentine's Day is a much bigger thing in the US than here so... Happy Valentine to all of you! Hope you're having a great day._

_Again, my brain lacks that off button so I wrote this story as well but wanted to wait until I was done with "Give it a Day" before I started publishing it. But now I though, what the heck, I'm far ahead on both this one and "Far Gone & Out" so it shouldn't be a problem. And so you know, there will eventually be a OFC / Son hook up in this._

_The chapters in this one is named after poems by Rabindranath Tagor._

_And just as she is on "Far Gone & Out", __**Simone Santos**__ has been an amazing support, so thank you once again. You Rock, Girl!_

_Pics of the OC's will be up on my profile shortly. This story takes place a few years before season 1._

* * *

**1. Distant Time**

_I know not from what distant time  
thou art ever coming nearer to meet me.  
Thy sun and stars can never keep thee hidden from me for aye. _

-o0o-

Catherine took the ice pack Rodney was handing her and pressed it against her cheek. She looked at the two cops who were standing in the middle of the room, overviewing the mess. It had been obvious to her pretty damn fast that they hadn't sent the sharpest knives in the box when they knocked on the broken down door and asked if they'd come to the right place.

"So your sister attacked you?"

"Yes, like I've told you three times already."

"What's missing?" the other one said.

"My TV, stereo, microwave," she looked around. "Probably some jewellery but I haven't had time to go through that yet. Might be some other stuff as well."

"Do you have any valuable jewellery?"

"No." Catherine didn't want stuff like that. Whenever she got some, she sold it. Money was her thing.

"Was it just your sister?" the first one said.

"No, she had some guy with her, probably her boyfriend."

"But you're not sure he was her boyfriend?"

"As I'm sure you've guessed, we're not close and she didn't exactly introduce him before she had him kick my ass. She's a crack head and it's not the first time she's stolen stuff from me. I stopped letting her in years ago since she always ended up stealing some shit and disappearing."

"And Rodney here is...?"

"A co-worker."

When she looked over at him he smiled and she knew they were thinking the same thing and he shook her head to make sure she shut up.

"And you called him because?"

Catherine was wondering what the fuck this was about and why they gave a shit why she called him; but she played nice and answered their questions.

"He lives close, I was scared that she'd come back and I knew it might take you quite some time to get your asses here, so I called him." She pointed at Rodney. "Since he's a big guy, as you can see."

Both cops looked at the 6'4" black guy who was standing in the kitchen area with his arms crossed, and nodded in agreement.

"When did you get home?"

"Two thirty," she answered and walked over to the fridge to get something to drink.

"AM?"

Jesus fucking Christ they sure didn't send the smart cops to her place. "Yes. Like I said earlier, I came home about three hours ago, at two thirty AM."

It had taken the cops more than two hours to get to her place, luckily Rodney had an understanding wife so she was ok with him being at Catherine's place. She'd even come over with some coffee for them.

"Okay, we'll look into this," they looked at the broken door. "Maybe you should stay at a motel tonight."

"Sure," she said and followed them to the door. When they were finally out she turned to Rodney. "Thanks for coming here."

"No problem," Rodney said and came over to look at the door. "I'll get that taken care of tomorrow. Got some place to stay? You're welcome at our house..."

"No offense, I love you, but seriously, you have three screaming kids."

"Yeah," Rodney said with a laugh. "When's Jenny back?"

Jenny was another co-worker and friend.

"Next weekend." Catherine looked around at the mess. "I'll go to a motel or something."

"Not like you're gonna be able to work with those bruises. Think you need to go to the hospital."

"No. No way. I'm fine. I've had worse." She didn't want to pay for a hospital visit either. It was okay, it hurt but not too bad.

"Don't you have some place to go and wind down for a while?"

She thought about it and she was suddenly so tired. Catherine was the youngest of the siblings, apart from the sister who had just robbed and beaten her up she had two brothers. The oldest brother, eight years older than her, was a psychopath, at least that's what she thought. The six years older brother, Matthew, had been her lifeline as a child. He'd been her everything. The three years older sister had been a cunt even as a kid.

But she wanted someone, just for a while, to give a shit about her. Someone else than Rodney, someone who was family and the only one in her family who could do that was Matthew.

"Got my brother in Charming."

"Charming? Sounds like a calm place," Rodney said with a laugh. "I'm gonna go and get us some breakfast and make some calls to get this place locked up. Pack your bags and then you'll leave once you've had something to eat and shit loads of coffee."

"Yeah."

Catherine wasn't too worried about the lack of sleep. One night without it wasn't a problem. She heard Rodney leave and looked around the place. The ice pack was starting to melt so she threw it into the sink and went to find a bag and a suitcase.

-o0o-

She stopped along the side of the road three times on her way to Charming, wondering what the fuck she was doing. Two of the times she considered calling Matt but decided not to. He was her brother and she needed him at the moment.

When she finally reached Charming after a five hour ride she stopped at a gas station. While paying she looked at the cashier.

"Where's the Teller Morrow Garage?"

The girl looked like her as if she was an alien, like it was obvious where the garage was. "The SOA clubhouse?"

"Yeah." She might not now much about her brother anymore but she knew he was a biker in The Sons Of Anarchy and that the clubhouse and the garage was at the same place. "The clubhouse."

"Just down the road, on the left side, can't miss it."

"Thanks."

Catherine's ribs hurt like a motherfucker and so did her face. It had progressively worsened during the ride and she hoped that Matt was there with her being there 'cause there was no way in hell she'd be able to drive back home in the next couple of days.

She knew she probably looked like shit but she didn't have the energy to care at the moment. Once she pulled up in front of the garage she started to really regret the decision to go to her brother. She wasn't even sure if he was here. He'd just mentioned that he worked at the garage owned by the club's president.

At the moment she was short on options though. Not even mentioning she was scared to be at home. Rodney had been right, she needed to get out of LA for a while and since it was summer vacation from school she didn't really have any place she needed to be.

She almost chickened out when she noticed the people sitting outside the clubhouse. The urge to just start the car, turn it around and get the hell out of there made her almost shake when she tried to force her body out of the car. Finally she took a deep breath and pulled the handle.

She cringed a bit when she walked and she noticed them all turn around and look at her. Matthew had never taken her to the club. In fact; Matthew had hardly talked to her at all the last two years. Last Christmas he even bailed on her for the club. She'd spent the fucking day working along with all the other pathetic wankers; but at the moment her brother was her best bet, there was no one else to ask.

A blond walked up to meet her.

"Can I help you darlin'?"

It took her a few seconds 'cause, apart from at the strip clubs, no guy her own age had ever called her darlin'.

"I'm looking for Matthew," she finally managed to say.

"Is he expecting you?"

She almost laughed. "No, he's not." The ribs hurt when she huffed and she grabbed her side. She noticed the guy eyeing her. "I'm his sister. I just need to talk to him."

"Okay," he said when he obviously decided to half believe that she really was Matt's sister. "I'll take you to him."

He pointed at a door and she walked towards it with him behind her. As they reached it he walked around her to hold it open.

"Pinch!" he yelled. "Someone here to see you."

"Who?" she heard her brother's voice and when she came further in she saw him get out of a couch and walk towards her. When he saw her he halted. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"Our crack head whore of a sister and her crack head boyfriend payed me a visit."

He came up to her and held her chin to tilt her head towards the light. "Fuck! What happened?"

"They raided my place." She took a deep breath.

"What did they take?" he said and let go of her chin.

Catherine couldn't help but feel... empty. This was his greeting? Cold. Not a hug or a smile or... anything? They used to be so close. It was the two of them against the rest of their fucked up family. She had no idea what happened but suddenly she was the only one calling, the calls got shorter and shorter, he never had time for her. The last nail in the coffin was when he stood her up on Christmas Day. She'd never felt more alone. He didn't even bother to call, just sent her a text that he'd spend it with the club.

"Just stuff."

"Money?"

"Just today's tip. I don't keep money in the apartment," she sighed. This wasn't going the way she had hoped. At all, and she was feeling damn uncomfortable.

"Where the fuck do you keep your money then?"

"Gee, I don't know. The bank?" He was starting to royally piss her off. He was still standing more than an arms length away and he looked at her as if she was a puppy who'd followed him home. A dog he thought was cute but didn't really want. "Between our crackhead sister and psychopath brother I figured that was the safest place."

He finally smiled but kept quiet.

"I need a place to crash. Just for a few days until I get a new lock on the door."

"Fuck, Cat. I only have a studio apartment."

"No matter what size it is, you spend most nights here anyway," a tall guy with curly black hair and blue eyes said.

"Don't you have work?" he tried instead, ignoring the guy's comment.

She couldn't fucking believe him! "I can't work with bruises." With another sigh she swallowed what little pride she still had. "Please, Matt. I just need a few days outside LA."

Matt seemed to have missed her plea and instead he looked pissed. "Why the fuck can't you wait tables with bruises?" Catherine looked down at the floor and back up at him. "Jesus fucking Christ tell me you're not stripping again."

Instead of being embarrassed she got pissed. Her sister had raided her place and beat her up and her brother was giving her shit for stripping although she'd stopped being embarrassed about her job years ago. Besides, what the fuck did he expect her to do?

Between all those thoughts going through her head she landed at the easiest one. It wasn't like she couldn't afford a motel for a while, she could work extra shifts once the bruises were gone and she'd still be able to pay the tuition, without a problem. She realized that this, coming to Matt, had just been about... fuck... getting some pity. Like she needed it from this piece of shit.

"Fuck this!" she said and turned around.

"Hey!" he yelled behind her and grabbed her arm. "Why, Cat?"

"Are you shitting me?" She stared at him in disbelief. "I have no fucking idea why I came here. I ask for your help and you're giving me shit about how I pay my way through school. It's not like I'd get help from someone else to do it."

He was still holding on to her arm and he practically yelled in her face. "I know you're a fucking genius but I have a hard time seeing how it's worth spreading your legs for a few bucks just so you can study math at college."

She stared at him, lost for words and she felt her eyes tearing up. It was hard to tell which betrayal from a sibling felt worst. She was used to her sister being an ass but Matt... He used to be her other half and it was painfully obvious that he didn't know shit about her anymore. He let go of her arm when he noticed her tears and she turned around to walk out, she couldn't take more.

"Shit... Cat..." She heard behind her and that's when she, for the thousandth time in her life, felt the need for him to not think bad things about her. All she wanted to do was to set him straight before she left.

"I've never done either of those two things," she said with a tired voice as she dried her cheek.

"What?"

"I've never had sex with a guy for money and I've never studied math at university."

"You dropped out?" He still didn't get it.

"No. But I'm studying physics. I've done that from day one." She turned around and started walking outside again. "See you next Christmas." She turned around with a smile, snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "My bad! We don't celebrate Christmas together anymore. Guess I'll see you when I see you."

She hurried out to get to her car before she lost it properly. The lump in her throat was thick and she felt like curling up underneath a cover and just bawling her eyes out. She really hoped there was a motel or a bar close to this place because she wouldn't be able to drive very far and she'd take either of the two. A night without sleep wasn't much of a problem but she probably should stay away from the high way just in case.

-o0o-

Two whiskeys and a beer later she was finally calming down. It had been a stupid idea to begin with but she'd felt the need for him just this once. At least she knew where they stood and she needed to come to terms with not having a brother either. She didn't count the other brother or sisters since a long time.

She waved with the glass to the bartender.

"Any motels close by?"

"Sure. Continue down the street, take the first turn to the left and there's one on the right hand side."

"Thanks." She felt the tears again so she grabbed her beer and glass to go find a table. As she sat down she leaned her head against the wall behind her and closed her eyes. Someone grabbed a chair next to her and sat down, but she didn't bother to open her eyes. "I'm not looking for company."

"Doubt you'd get any with that swollen face." She opened her eyes and saw her brother next to her. He took her glass. "I'm sorry, sis. You caught me off guard."

"Don't bother," she said and took the glass back from him. "I'll manage. Go back to your family."

He watched her down the drink in silence. "Take my place. I'll stay at the clubhouse and if you want I'll stay out of your way."

What the fuck was he talking about? She wasn't the one who had wanted him to stay away. She'd tried to keep in touch but when she'd started to feel like a crazy stalker she gave up.

"I'm fine. You don't have to start worrying about me all of a sudden."

"Cat, I know I haven't been there for you lately but..."

She didn't want to hear any pathetic excuses so she interrupted him. "That was the understatement of the century, don't you think?"

Throwing some bills on the table she got up. She wanted to get away from him before she started to cry again.

"Sis, come on."

Catherine hurried her steps, but when the sun blinded her she stopped for a few seconds. Once her eyes adapted she saw four bikers waiting outside. One of them was the blond who'd showed her inside the clubhouse, another was the one who had pointed out that Matt never slept at his place. There was also a guy with big scars on his cheeks and a fat guy. She hurried past them to her car and heard her brother behind her again.

"Catherine Marie Bishop! Don't get into that fucking car!"

She didn't stop and then he grabbed her arm again.

"What do you want from me? It was pretty fucking obvious that you didn't want me in your_ studio_ apartment and that's fine. I can take care of myself."

"Then why the fuck did you come here?"

That shut her up and to her horror she felt the tears in her eyes. With a quick side glance to the other guys she looked up at Matt. He looked different since the last time she saw him.

Her big brother was tall, more than a head taller than her. His blond hair was longer now, it had always been darker than hers, it was slicked back, and he had a beard. It surprised her that it was a bit red. She finally looked into those eyes that were the exact same color as hers, blue almost green. They were the only two ones in the family with blue eyes and Matt used to joke that it was a sign that they were the only two sane persons living in that hellhole.

She dried her cheeks. "I don't know," she mumbled.

He shoved a key into her hand. "Get into you car and follow me."

"Matt... forget it."

"No! You have my only key now so don't try to take off."

She got into her car and watched him get up on his bike. As he pulled out of the parking lot she followed him. The other bikes drove off in the other direction. When Matt stopped, she parked, took her bags and when she opened the door, Matt was just outside it.

"That all you brought?"

"Suitcase in the back." She nodded towards the trunk and he went for it.

Catherine turned and looked at the house. It looked like any other place but it wasn't a dump. "So you live in a studio apartment?"

"No," he said and when she turned around he smiled. "I lied. You'll see why."

She followed behind him up the stairs and watched his broad back. Her big brother was really a_ big_ brother and she used to love that. He was six years older than her and he used to pick her up at school. Everyone at her school knew that the cool big guy with a Harley was her brother. He smiled when she came running and clapped the bitch seat for her to climb up. With her arms around him she pressed her cheek between his shoulders and closed her eyes. Even on a bike, going fast, she felt totally safe when she was with him.

He halted by the door, put the key in the lock and just as he was about to turn it he turned to her and smiled again, "Brace yourself, sis."

"Are you keeping women tied to your bed or something?"

"Nope," he opened the door and when she looked inside she took a deep breath.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" She stepped over the threshold and then she laughed. The place was a mess, beer cans, bottles and just... shit, all over the place. "Damn. My place got raided and it looks better than this."

"Had a party here last night."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

"That's why I didn't want you here."

She kept looking around. It wasn't the whole truth and she knew it but at the moment she would let him get away with it. "I though you guys partied at the clubhouse."

"Yeah. I was gonna get some sleep and some of them followed here." When she turned around he was just behind her and finally put his arms around her. "I'll get someone to clean it up. I'll help you with the guest room."

"You have a guest room?"

"Yeah. We'll clean it though. Pretty sure there were some major action in there last night."

She leaned her head into his chest and he hugged her harder. When his hand went up to the back of her head she put her arms around his waist and hugged him back. He gave her forehead a kiss as he let go and took her hand to take her further inside.

The guest room looked like shit. It was bad and it had seen some serious action. Catherine didn't even want to try to count the number of condoms.

Matt picked up a phone. "Hey, need you at my place for a clean up." He stood silently and looked around. "Bring two croweaters as well. They're at least part guilty of this shit."

"Croweaters?" Catherine asked when he'd hung up.

"Groupies." He picked up her suitcase and put it on a chair in the guest room. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, I can eat."

"I'll buy you some food while they clean up this place."

They sat down on the stairs outside and had a smoke while they waited for whoever was coming. A van pulled up and a guy with a mohawk and three girls jumped out of it. Matt stood up when they came up the stairs.

The guy gave her a big smile and Matt smacked him in the back of the head. "Eyes off! I'm taking her out for dinner and I want you to make sure the place is spotless by the time I get back."

"Sure thing!" Mohawk said with an eager smile. "I'll take care of it."

As he passed, the guy gave her another eye and Matt immediately hit the back of his head again. "Eyes, motherfucker!"

When he was gone Catherine looked at Matt. "Can you really blame him? I look like I've been through a meat grinder."

"Not why he was looking and you don't look like you've been through a meat grinder. It's just a bruise on the jaw, cracked lip and a red nose." Catherine realized that she hadn't actually looked into a mirror. She'd just assumed that she looked like shit since her face hurt like hell. "Have you seen a doctor?"

"No. I'm sure it's fine and I don't want to spend money on someone telling me it's fine."

"I'll take you to see Chibs before we eat."

"Who's Chibs?"

"A guy at the club. Knows basic medicine. He can at least tell me if I should take you to a doctor."

She shrugged, if it was free she wouldn't object. When they came down the stairs she walked to the car and he once again stopped her by taking her arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" he said with a smile.

"The car?"

"Forget it. You're getting a ride." He took her to the bike and handed her his helmet.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Just get up behind me and stop nagging." He laughed when he saw her in the much too big helmet. "Besides, you're the one with the brain worth protecting."


	2. Fireflies

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Thank you so much for your reviews, favs and follows. They mean a lot to me but I'm sure that most of you already knew that._

_It was also my turn to get a 'can't you ever finish a story before posting a new'-review and I'm ignoring one of my own princip__les__ and __am__ actually replying to it at the end of this chapter. Simply since even if it's the fist time I've had one of those, I'm getting fed up at seeing them on other stories._

_As always, if you have any questions, let me know._

_Thank you __**Simone Santos**__ for all your help and support!_

* * *

**Fireflies**

_My last salutations are to them__**  
**__who knew me imperfect and loved me._

_Love's gift cannot be given,__**  
**__it waits to be accepted._

-o0o-

Catherine hadn't been on a ride since the last time Matt took her. In fact; he was the only one she'd ever ridden with and she'd missed it. It felt just like old times and for a while she felt safe again. When he stopped she opened her eyes and saw the clubhouse. Matt took the helmet with a smile.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I've missed that." She looked at the clubhouse and then at Matt. "Gotta admit, not all that comfortable with going back in there. I hate making a spectacle of myself."

He laughed and put his arm around her to lead her inside the clubhouse again.

"I'd say stripper is a bad career choice if that's how you feel about making a spectacle of yourself."

"It's not a career choice, It's so I can get the career I really want later on."

He didn't reply to that, just gave her a squeeze before opening the door and taking her inside. Everyone turned their heads towards them as they entered. When she moved closer to Matt he hugged her reassuringly.

"For those of you who missed our one o clock performance; this is my sister Catherine."

She got some nods and hallo's and she smiled back. A big guy with a massive jaw came up to them and extended his hand. She didn't remember him from when she was here earlier but she took his hand.

"I'm Clay, the president."

"Hi. I'm Catherine, Matthew's sister."

"Pinch," Matt said next to her.

"What?"

"That's what he's called here. Pinch," Clay clarified with a smile. "Start calling him Matthew and we won't know who the fuck you're talking about."

"Okay. I'm Pinch's sister Catherine."

"Good to meet you Catherine. Nice to see some of his family."

"Let's hope you don't get to meet the rest of them," Catherine said and Matt chuckled next to her.

"Chibs," Matt turned to a guy sitting close by. He'd been one of those who waited outside when Matt came to pick her up from the bar. The one with big scars on his cheeks. "Could you have a look at her? If I need to get her to a hospital?"

"Sure. Come here, sweetheart." He pointed towards a room.

She looked at Matt and he nodded. "I'll come with you." He punched Chibs' shoulder. "Wouldn't leave you in a room alone with any of these fuckers. Sometimes he gets a bit eager when he's playing doctor."

"Think that's Tig you're thinking about brutha'," Chibs answered with a laugh.

Catherine had some trouble following what the man was actually saying, which was another reason she needed Matt with her. She didn't want to stand there with her jaw down pretending to understand what he was saying when he told her she had internal bleeding or something.

The room contained a big table with a carving in the middle. When she took a closer look she saw it was the same type of reaper they had on their vests. Comfortable chairs surrounded it. Matt closed the door behind them and Chibs smiled at her. She knew what those scars were, a Glasgow Smile, and she wondered what he'd done to get them.

Chibs stepped closer and looked at her face. With tender fingers he felt her jaw and nose.

"Any hits to the rest of the 'ed?"

"Ed? Oh, head. Don't think so."

He loosened her ponytail and ran his fingertips through her entire scalp, carefully pressing here and there.

"Got some bumps. Any pain 'ere?"

Jesus, it sounded like the man had porridge halfway down his throat while he was speaking. "No."

"Any other injuries?"

She was uncertain how thorough an examination she really wanted and looked at Matt before answering. "They kicked my ribs and side."

"Take off the tee, love, and I'll have a look," Chibs said and took a step back to wait for her to do as he asked.

Looking at Matt again she took a deep breath. "I'm not wearing a bra."

Matt sighed. "Fucking hell, Cat, you flash yourself for anyone with twenty for the entrance fee anyway."

She wasn't sure how to explain that it was different like this. A huge difference, but then Chibs pulled out a bill from his pants.

"If it makes you feel better I'll slip this into your pants 'for feelin' you up."

Once she'd managed to figure out what the fuck he was saying, her first reaction was to get pissed that he seemed to think she was some cheep piece of ass; but then she saw the teasing gleam in his eyes and the smile spreading on his face, and he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at Matt. She laughed. He was totally fucking with her brother and she immediately decided to help him do that.

"Get me some music and I'll take off the jeans as well."

"Even got a pole out there for ya," his smile got even bigger and he winked at her. "Just make sure to stand still long enough for me to feel those ribs."

She kept laughing even though it hurt like hell when she did. "I think I'll be fine in here. Don't think Matt wants to see his baby sister strip."

"No. He doesn't."

"Touchy subject," Chibs said, now he was looking at her.

"Yeah," Catherine smiled and pulled off her t-shirt. He'd totally managed to deflate the tension, especially by mentioning Matt's dislike of her occupation. It probably had something to do with how he found out she was a stripper about eight years ago.

Matt and some of his friends had gone to a strip club one night, not knowing that it was the strip club where Catherine was working, since he didn't even know she was a stripper. It had been one of the most embarrassing moments in her life when she spun around the pole, got down on her knees, spreading wide in a thong, and looked into the eyes of her brother. He claimed he couldn't get a hard on for days after that and that he still couldn't get one from looking at a girl dancing around a pole. When she looked at him now he was staring into the ceiling.

Her shocking him like that was just a part of why he disliked her being a stripper. One of the other parts was that he was pissed about her throwing away her dancing at stripping. She'd tried to explain that even if she was a good dancer for being a stripper, she still wasn't a very good dancer, and the money was good. Very good; and she needed that money to get the education she wanted.

"Take a deep breath, hon'." She did and Chibs was pressing his fingertips along her ribs. "Again." She did. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah."

"A lot?"

"No. Not too bad."

"Does it hurt when I press here?"

"Yeah, but not that bad."

"Don't think they're broken." He handed her the t-shirt. "With nice tits like that you deserve that twenty."

"Fucks sake, Chibs!" Her brother yelled and Chibs laughed and winked at her.

She didn't mind the comment, once again it hadn't been for her but to tease Matt. When she looked at him he was still staring up at the ceiling, refusing to look at her.

"The t-shirt is on," she lied and when he looked down he visibly flinched.

"Oh, come on!" he yelled again and turned around.

Both her and Chibs laughed and she put the t-shirt on.

"Thank you," she said and gave him a nod.

"No prob'. Give me a holler if you get any problems and I'll have another look." With a glance in Matt's direction he added, "Make sure to leave the bra home."

"Okay, enough jokes about my baby sister's tits." He grabbed her and pushed her ahead of him out of the room. She laughed the entire way. "It's not funny," he growled.

"A little. Admit it!"

"A little." He put his arm around her again and kept walking through the clubhouse. "I'll take you out for something to eat. Those ribs were sticking out, need to get some meat on you."

-o0o-

By the time they came back to Matt's place it was cleaned and the guy with the mohawk was sitting in the couch alone, playing with his phone.

"Get out!" Matt said as he walked inside. "And don't let me catch you eyeing my sister."

Staring into the floor the guy left.

"Okay. What's with the rudeness?" Catherine said once the guy was out the door.

"He's a prospect. It's part of prospecting." Matt mumbled as he walked around to make sure they'd cleaned properly. Once he came back to the living room he sat down on the couch. "About Christmas..."

"Don't. It's not just Christmas. Christmas is just a really small part of it so don't bother."

He kept looking at her. "So why did you come here?"

"I don't know, I think I needed to know I had one family member who still gave a shit."

"Sis, I'm sorry. It was... I don't know. I needed to leave all that behind me." He leaned forward on the couch with his elbows on his knees. "And I know that hurt you. The more I cut you out the harder it got to... It was easier to not see you at all than just now and then."

Catherine didn't know what to say. She knew what he meant about leaving 'all that' behind. The drunk mom, high dad, bitch sister and the oldest brother who was most likely a complete psychopath. She wanted to leave that behind as well, but 'all that' never included Matt.

He'd been her lifeline, the one that got her out of bed and to school, falsified their parents signature on anything from school, came to dance recitals, encouraged her to study, everything. He'd been there for her and then... Bam! It stopped and she had no one. Saying it hurt her was and understatement. It damn near crushed her.

"Whatever," she walked towards the guest room. "Don't worry. I'll crash here for a while and then I'll be behind you again."

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

"It's seven pm," Matt said behind her. Like she didn't know how to read time, he fucking taught her that!

"I didn't get any sleep last night." It was all she said and closed the door behind her.

The guest room was sparkling clean and her suitcase was neatly placed next to the bed. There was a small bathroom en suit and it was equally clean. She was glad she'd missed it earlier since she had a feeling it must've been really disgusting. Now there were clean towels hanging from a rack on the wall. She took a shower, braided her hair and went to bed. Luckily she was too tired to worry and fell asleep quickly.

-o0o-

Wherever she was, it was dark and she could hear the noises from the other side of the door. The yelling, someone hitting someone else. If she didn't get out of there in time they'd come for her too. She reached for the door and tried to feel the edges of it so she could find the handle. It was a wooden door and she found the crack. She followed it with her fingertips on her right hand and the left hand next to it. Up, high up. Getting up on her knees she still didn't reach that far and she realized she was small, a small child and then the smells hit her. She was in their old house, the smell of the Mexican restaurant underneath their apartment was heavy.

The only thing she found was hinges so she slowly moved her hand to the left, to find the crack on the other side. When she did she did the same thing, slowly moving her hands up, trying to contain the crying and hoping she'd be done in time and that the door wasn't locked. She had to get out fast. The darkness was suffocating her and she couldn't stay in there. It was dangerous to be here when he remembered her again. Just as she found the handle the door swung open, the sudden light blinded her and he screamed.

"You fucking piece of shit, you fucking whore! You disgusting little girl, I'm gonna teach you what happens when you pee in the bed." He grabbed her hands and yelled into her face. "You're gonna grow up to be a dirty whore just like your mom!"

Catherine screamed, waving her hands in front of her and trying to back up, out of his reach and grip.

"Cat!" someone was shaking her and she tried to hit him, get him off her. "Fuck! Cat! Wake up!"

Her hands were stuck again but this time she managed to open her eyes. Matt was on the edge of the bed, holding her hands against his chest with one hand and the other was on her chest, holding her down.

"Matt!" She took some deep breaths and relaxed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He was still holding her hands though, but when she tried to pull them away he let go. "Want something to drink?"

She nodded and he disappeared. He held glass of water in his hand when he came back and sat down on the edge of the bed again.

"Scoot over."

"What?"

"Scoot over."

When she did he got in under the cover and she stared at him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Making sure you can sleep again."

This wasn't new, he'd done it thousands of times before, but that was when they were kids; or at least when she was a kid.

"I've been doing this by myself for quite some time. I don't need your help to fall asleep anymore."

He took the glass, put it on the floor and pulled her down. "Shut up."

"Okay. This is really fucking sick. I'm twenty-four and you're thirty. This is sick."

"It's not sick."

"Yeah, it is. Matt! I can do this alone."

"Shut the fuck up." He put an arm around her. "I'm sorry that I... ignored you. That I left you by yourself. That I dumped you on Christmas Day. That I replaced you with a new family. It was a shitty thing to do and I don't have an excuse."

"And?"

"And that I judged you for how you make a living. You're right, you're making good money and getting yourself a good education, all by yourself, and I have to admire you for it." He hugged her. "And I'm sorry that I didn't know what you studied or generally paid any attention to you. Basically; I'm sorry for being a shitty older brother but I'll try to make it up to you."

"How?"

"I'm gonna start by staying here until you fall asleep again." He gave her temple a kiss. "Still have them often?"

"The nightmares?"

"Yeah."

"No. It happens." Despite the freakishness of lying in bed next to your thirty year old brother it was comfortable and she moved closer. "What was his name? The guy who cleaned."

"Stay away from him! Stay away from all of them."

"I'm not gonna hook up with any of them. I just wanted to know his name."

"Juice."

"Do you all have weird nicknames?"

"Yes."

"Why Pinch?" Instead of answering he pinched her upper arm. "Aoch, fuck!"

"That's why. Shut up and sleep so I can get back to my bed. Don't want to wake up next to you with a morning boner. That would be freaky."

"Oh, my god, Matt!" she laughed. "That's sick. No matter what you say; being in bed with your sister with a boner is sick."

"My point exactly. So go to sleep."

* * *

_As a general rule I don't reply to negative reviews unless the reviewer has the balls to give it to me logged in, and in that case only to the reviewer in question. I have done it a couple of times when they've pointed out something I've gotten wrong since that's an actually mistake form my side and others need some info about it. _

_But this time I got one of those that quite a few have had and not only me. (I know that Simone Santos got one of them when she started publishing All Good Things as well)__:__ The 'do you have to start a new story when you're not done with the old one'._

_So I'm going to make this very clear. At the moment, I'm writing __about seven different stories, four of them are being published (one of them sadly neglected and I'm sorry about that). One is a original fic and that is taking a lot longer to write since I find that harder._

_I start publishing a story if I think it's __worth__ publishing and when I have around 50 - 100 pages of raw script and the full story plotted out. Quite often the plot changes but I want to have a general idea of where I'm going with it. _

_I've done an exception from that twice as an experiment to see if I could pull it off. Little Talks and its sequel Just Breathe, obviously that didn't work out all that well with the second one but I'm still working on it and I won't make that mistake again._

_In other words. To me, "Far Gone & Out" is finished. I know exactly what will happen, have the main things __throu__gho__ut the story __already written. I also find that I'm writing a lot easier if I can move to work on another story when I'm stuck at one. It keeps me writing instead of vegging out in front of the TV in defeat with considerable differences to get back to the computer._

_Not that it's anyone's business, at fucking all, what and how I write. As I've stated so many times; I write because I love to write and I publish because I think some of the stories are worth sharing and they do seem to entertain some people__; b__ut I wouldn't feel obligated to write, if I ever do, it's going to stop being fun and I'll probably cramp up completely._

_Even with all those stories going, I publish chapters on each and every story a lot faster than most writers with only one story and that's probably why your review doesn't make me feel bad at all. It does however royally piss me off since I feel sorry for all the other writers who are getting them. _

_And as for the comment about getting more reviews, I think your math is a bit off. The amount of reviews on each chapter won't get any higher just cause I have more than one story going on (unless I count nag reviews like yours, so thank you for bumping my statistics). And if your argument would be that I publish more chapters each week and that way get more reviews, well you __just proved my point that I'm capable__ of keeping__ several stories going._

_And to reply to the comment 'can't you ever finish something before starting something else?". I just finish__ed__ a story, my fifth in less than a year. So I think I've proved that I'm able to finish stories._

_If you had a problem with the story in itself I would've minded and maybe even felt a bit bad, but a comment like that just makes me angry. Like I started this rant. I don't usually reply to anonymous critique and a majority of the times I don't particularly care about them either. __**But this type of critique has hit a lot of writers lately and I know that some of them ha**__**ve**__** taken their stories down, and it pisses me off that cowardly ass wipes have the nerve to have an opinion on how someone else**__**'s**__** creativity and inspiration should work.**_

_Now, if you have any more to say about how I write and would like any further comments from me on your opinions; __l__og on and send me a PM or just log on and leave a review and I'll reply to you directly. You can also find me on twitter R31M4y32 where you can nag in less than a 140 characters and get shorter replies than this in return._

_To all the other poor sods who read this really long rant. I'm sorry, it won't happen again. To quote Grace; I just got fed up._


	3. Take Back Your Coins

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I want to start by thanking you for your wonderful support and understanding of me and all the other writers here in the reviews as a response to my rant. I'm sure I'm not the only writer who got an all around cozy feeling from reading what you all wrote. It's so easy to think that one bad review somehow represent__s__ the general feeling among the readers and you sure showed that it wasn't the case. So thank you so much for that. I'm sure I speak for most writers when I say that it was really nice to see how you defended and stood by all of us._

_As usual, I need to thank __**Simone Santos**_**, **_if you've missed her stories, make sure to check them out! I also want to thank __**dancer with a soul **__who's been more than patient with my MANY questions. She's got a story up too that you should check out!_

* * *

**Take Back Your Coins**

_The women clapped their hands, and laughed their obscene  
laugh, and with veils dragged on the dust and hair hanging loose  
they began to pelt him with flowers._

-o0o-

It was the doorbell that woke her up, but it took her some time to remember where she was. When she did, she wasn't sure if she should answer the door, but finally gave up and got out of the bed. A quick glance into the bedroom made her realize that Matt was gone.

A woman in her mid to late forties was at the other side of the door. Dark hair, sunglasses, tight clothes. She looked hot and very sure of herself.

"Catherine?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm Gemma. Clay's Old Lady. Pinch asked me to take you out for breakfast."

Old Lady? That didn't sound very nice. She wasn't all that young but it still seemed a bit harsh to have her point it out like that.

"Oh. Okay." Catherine took a few steps back to let her in while pointing over her shoulder. "I need to get ready."

"Take your time darlin'."

'Darlin' again. What was it with these people and sounding like they were in a movie from the fifties. When she came back outside, Gemma was comfortable on the couch and raised her head when she heard her.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

She stood up and once they were outside Christine realized something. "I don't have a key."

"I made you a copy, hon'."

'Hon'! Her head was spinning form being called all those things only older men called her while she rubbed their hard-ons with her pelvic bone. The feminist revolution had obviously completely skipped this area. Not that it was very prominent anywhere else, she should know. But seriously, who walked around and called women they didn't even know that? Once the door was locked she followed Gemma to her car.

The diner looked like something from the fifties as well. In fact; the whole damn town did. Not a Starbucks as far as the eye could see, or any kind of chain when she thought about it. During the breakfast Gemma seemed to play twenty questions and Catherine played along. It didn't matter anyway since she wasn't planning on sticking around and they were pretty general questions.

"Why physics?"

Catherine laughed. "In short; Everything is physics." She shrugged. "I wanted to understand things. How things worked."

According to a shrink it was her way of making sense of things, seeing the world around her and how that worked so she didn't have to deal with her own life. There was probably some truth to that. Just like there was some truth to his assessment that she worked as a stripper because it fulfilled her need to have power over men.

"How's everything physics?" Gemma asked and for the first time it didn't sound like she was questioning her, she just asked a question.

She took a deep breath. "You know how everything is built by atoms?"

"I'm aware," she looked a bit pissed but it hadn't been meant to question her intelligence.

"The atoms in return are built by subatomic particles. Protons, neutrons and electrons."

"OK?"

"And the most common theory is that those things contain vibrating strings. And those strings unite, not just the atoms but everything; time, space and forces." She knew she sounded like a crazed religious person now but she couldn't help herself. She loved the notion of that, how everything was tied together. "And really basic things are actually physics, like the reason to why a sandwiches lands face down most of the time when you drop it."

"There's a reason for that? Not just unlucky?"

"Sure." That example always got to everyone. "It's the force of the rotation and the height from which you drop it. The sandwich doesn't have time to rotate more than halfway. If you dropped from a lower point or a much higher one, it would land face up."

"I don't know much about physics but I'm guessing you're good at math," Gemma said after a moments thinking.

"It's not the same."

"Basic math."

"Yeah."

"Since you're not making any money stripping you can help me out in the office? Minimum wage."

Catherine stared at her. "You're offering me a job?"

"Just while you're here."

"Why?" She was very suspicious, it was a bit odd. Really fucking odd to be honest.

"What else are you gonna do? Hang out in your brother's apartment and watch Days of Our Lives?" she said with a smirk. Catherine was still suspicious. You didn't just offer someone a job like that. Even for a week. "I have some Excel problems," Gemma finally admitted.

"Excel problems?"

"Yeah. Juice keep telling me to add some fucking formulas into them and says it's basic math and not that hard."

"Oh." Now she got it. "You want me to make Excel sheets for you. So you can just use them as templates."

"That's... probably what I want."

"Okay, I can do that." That was easy work and something she could do without much of an effort. Juice was right, it was basic math.

Gemma took her to the garage and Matt met up with her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Apparently, I'm hired to do Excel templates for Gemma."

"Okay." He eyed Gemma and she smiled and blew him a kiss. "Be careful, stay away from club business and don't ask_ any_ fucking questions."

"You do know that my IQ is way up there? Like in the stratosphere."

"Yeah? Use that fucking IQ and be smart about this then."

She went into the room she'd seen Gemma disappear into and spent the morning trying to fix the damn computer. It was a disaster area and she was amazed that someone had the patience to use something so slow. Doing templates wouldn't take her that long as soon as she knew what Gemma needed them for. She could take half a day to get the computer to run at it's, pretty damn low, maximum capacity.

A knock on the door frame made her look up. It was the guy with dark curly hair and blue eyes. The one who had pointed out that Matt hardly ever used his apartment.

"Hey, pretty, time for lunch." He smiled and waved. "I'm Tig."

"Nice to meet you, Tig." She got up from the chair. She couldn't believe that Gemma sat on that shitty chair all day long. She'd go mad if she had to do that.

They all sat down around some picnic tables. Matt pointed at the end of the bench and sat down next to her, almost as if to make sure no one else could touch her. Tig took the spot opposite her and Chibs the one next to him.

"So..." Tig said with a smile. "Stripper?"

"Among other things," she answered and opened the can with her salad.

"Drop it," her brother growled and glared at Tig. Then he turned to her. "If you get a terrible itch and just have to get laid or else you'll die; Tig is the last one you hook up with. That clear?"

"Okay?" Catherine smiled at him. "Freak?"

"Yes. You've never seen anything like it."

"Hey!" Tig protested but Chibs laughed.

"Sure about that? I'm a stripper after all."

"The fact that you rub up on guys hasn't prepared you for the ways of Tig," Matt said with confidence.

She laughed. "Oh, Matt. You've got no idea what you're talking about. Stripping isn't just about rubbing up on guys. Far from it."

"Like what?" Chibs asked.

"One of my regulars likes to watch me mash fruits between my tits." Matt stopped eating and looked at her but Tig and Chibs laughed. "He pays quite well for it too."

"They're nice tits," Chibs laughed and his laugh got ever louder when Matt turned and yelled at him.

"Hey! We talked about this, you haven't seen them!"

"What kind of fruit?" Tig asked.

"Anything that can be mashed between tits. He's favorite is bananas, of course."

"Of course." Tig nodded. "Then what. He gets to lick it, eat it?"

"Then nothing. He watches me do it, pay me and he's gone." He was one of her favorite customers. It was easy money even if she had to take a shower afterwards. "Another guy paid me a hundred bucks for a picture of the hollow of my knees."

"Why?" Matt asked after a confused silence.

"I never ask why. If I'm okay with what they want I tell them a price and we negotiate."

She'd stopped wondering about why people got off on the things they got off on. People were weird and as long as they paid her, it was something she was okay with and they behaved, she didn't care. At all. There were some basic rules she'd set up for herself when she started and she stuck to them. No matter what money they offered she never strayed from those rules, for her own sake and to stay away from that slippery slope. She'd seen more than one girl tumble down when the money got more important than it should be.

"And what if someone asks you how much a blow job is?" Tig gave her a big smile.

"Very close to the line here!" Matt pointed at him with the fork.

"Depends on how they ask. If they're lucky I say dinner and a movie._ If_ I agree to a date." She smiled. "If they ask me the wrong way or I'm having a bad day, I call for the bouncers."

Both Chibs and Matt laughed.

"Ever dated a customer?" Chibs asked.

"No." She would never do that. The person they asked out on a date wasn't who she was. She was about as much a real person at the club as the girls on posters they used to have in their boyhood rooms. "My point was more that rubbing up on guys is far from all I do, but I have very clear boundaries."

"So you've never even touched a dick at work?" Tig seemed amazed. "I mean. I've met some strippers and if you pay them..."

"Shut the fuck up!" Matt was very limited in his vocabulary, Catherine noticed.

"What's the weirdest thing you've done?" Chibs smiled at her.

"Actually," she laughed. "It wasn't something I did, it was something I saw, and it did include me touching a dick."

Matt took a deep breath and slowly turned his head, fully ready to scream, but she interrupted him.

"Trust me, even you would've wanted to touch that dick. Once you got over the initial shock."

"Monster sized?" Tig asked, but she shook her head.

"Explain," Matt said with clamped teeth.

"This guy said he'd tip me a hundred bucks if he could just show me his dick. I refused so he upped it to hundred and fifty. When I told him that the size wouldn't matter, I wouldn't go home with him either way. He said that wasn't it. He just wanted to show me and that was it. So, straying _slightly_ from my own rules, I allowed it."

"And," Chibs said.

"I explained that if I saw his hands anywhere near it, I'd call the bouncer and have him thrown out in a second and he would never be allowed back in." She smiled at the memory. He'd been so calm, insisted that he just wanted to show her and that he wouldn't touch it. "And before I even had the time to start dancing he pulled down his pants and the fucker had split his own dick in two."

"What?" All three guys asked at the same time.

"Swear to God. It was split in two, all the way down to his balls."

"Was it like a freak accident?" Matt looked like he himself was in tremendous pain, they all did.

"No. Did it to himself. Like body modification."

"I call bullshit!" Matt said.

"I'm telling you; I touched that fucker and it wasn't bull. It was a real dick, just split in two. I almost threw up, it's the freakiest fucking thing I've ever seen." She still could hardly believe it, and she'd seen it! Live! "I could see the urethra on both sides. Like some fucked up anatomy dick. You know like they have in biology class. And when the guy got a hard on... totally blew my mind. The halves curved into each other."

"Then what?"

"He tucked it into his pants, payed up, said 'thank you' and left." She looked at the guys, who were carefully eying their the food, probably feeling a bit sick. "Kind of wished he'd cum. Just to see where it came out."

Matt sighed and put his sandwich back into the bag, "Yeah, I'm not gonna eat today."

Once she'd finished her salad she went back into the office and finished the fixing of the computer. She'd be able to start on those templates the next day. Now she just needed Gemma to show her what it was exactly she needed. Somehow she had a hunch that could be the real problem.

-o0o-

"I thought you hardly ever spent time at this place?" she said to Matt later that night.

"Usually don't have a reason to."

"Still don't like to be alone?"

"No." He put an arm around her. "Was it true? That shit you told at lunch?"

"What part? The freaky customers or that I don't fuck or suck for money?"

"I'm sorry that I said that. I know you don't."

"The rest was true too. People get turned on by different stuff. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone I don't judge." She took his hand. "And I'll stay away from your friends. Tig especially."

"Please do. His freakyness does include sucking and fucking."

"I have no doubt." Catherine looked at Matt, he looked... torn, somehow. "Why did Gemma offer me a job? It was a bit weird."

"She was pissed as hell at me."

"Why?" She wasn't sure how that was an explanation.

"Family is a big thing to her. Having a go at my sister when she came to the clubhouse beaten up and asking for my help was not okay. She's all about family and she didn't even know I had a sister."

"You hadn't told anyone?"

"Yeah, I've told them. Not much but they knew. Gemma didn't." He cleared his throat. "I think she wants us close. She's all about butting in and fixing shit that's really none of her business."

"So she wants me around you all day long?" That did make sense.

"Something like that," Matt said. "And I'm not invited to this year's Christmas dinner at her house."

"You're not invited to mine either."

There was an uncomfortable silence between them all of a sudden. She felt him take a deep breath.

"What did you do? For Christmas I mean."

Catherine wondered if telling him would be just to rub it in. If it would be just a way to get back at him for dumping her. Then she thought 'fuck it'. He asked, his own fault.

"I worked." He didn't say anything and finally she stood up. "I'm going to bed. Will you take me to the garage in the morning?"

"Sure. Goodnight, sis."

There were no nightmares that night, thankfully, and Matt woke her up in the morning. The familiarity of him pulling off her covers to get her out of bed made her stomach clench. There was no breakfast and when she asked he just said she'd get some at the clubhouse.

So she hesitantly followed him into the clubhouse and smiled when she smelled coffee and something fresh out of the oven. The fat guy, Bobby, handed her a cup and bread basically soaking in butter.

"Face starting to heal. Some interesting shades," Chibs said and sat down next to her.

"Yeah. Still hurts a bit." She was about to tell him that the shades on her ribs were even more colorful when her phone rang. "Sorry, gotta take this." Picking it up with a glance on the screen she smiled. "Hey, honey."

"_Babe!" _Jenny's voice yelled _"What's up with being beaten up?"_

"My sister' what's up," she said and with a look around she decided to go outside for this. "Hang on."

She got up, grabbed the cup and walked outside.

" I'm back," she said to indicate she could talk again.

"_Where the hell are you?"_

"In Charming. I'm staying with my brother for a while."

"_Are we talking the psychopath or the asswipe who left you alone at Christmas?"_

"The asswipe."

Jenny was one of the girls she worked with. She did it for College as well but she studied History. They'd become friends around the second month at the place and she was one of very few girls at that place that Catherine trusted.

"_Why?"_ Her voice was full of amazement. She'd never met Matt but hated his guts and she knew how hurt Catherine was about how he withdrew. Jenny had been fully prepared to get on a plane and leave her family to make sure that Catherine didn't have to spend Christmas alone.

"I don't know to be honest. You weren't home and... I don't know." She laughed when she still couldn't come up with a good reason. "Let me get back to you on that one."

She turned around when the door opened behind her and saw Chibs coming out with her plate. He put it down on the table and the next second Matt showed up and pushed him back inside.

"This is a really weird place."

"_Charming?"_

"That too, remind me to tell you about this town forgotten by time. But more the club and... I don't get half of what's happening. And my brother is acting like a caveman or something."

"_Are you really surprised? Caveman asswipe sounds about right to me."_

"No. He's never been like this. And... I don't really get it."

Since she was so much younger than him, his friends had always been somewhat too old. Even when he found her stripping, in the company of his friend, he hadn't been that much about keeping her away from them. He was usually very okay with her having boyfriends and sex. This was something new. She had no idea where it was coming from.

"_How long are you staying?"_

"I'm not sure. Don't think I'll stand this for very long. Maybe the end of the week. I'm helping a woman with some stuff at the garage."

"_They hired you?"_

"Sort of. Like I said, this place is really fucking weird."

"_I'll be back in LA next week. Got anybody on the changing lock detail?"_

"Yeah. Rodney is taking care of it." Rodney was one of the bouncers at the strip club and he was all about taking care of the girls. By far her favorite among the bouncers and she always made sure to tip him properly. Besides the normal task of protecting her, he recommended her to guests and also kept her informed about them. What cars they came in and anything that could hint her to the money bags.

She'd called him and briefly explained what had happened and that she'd stay with her brother for a while. He promised her that her door was in tip top shape and that she could pick up the new key at his house.

"Not sure I want to get back there now that she knows where I live."

"_Want me to look into a new place?"_

"Because that's a piece of cake in LA?" Not even mentioning how fucking expensive it could be. "Don't worry about it, I'll figure something out."

"_O__kay__. Give me a call now and then so I know you' caveman brother and his friends aren't keeping you tied up in the basement or something."_

"I think I'll be fine but I'll call you."

She sat down, finished the last of the bread and lit a smoke. A woman in a very low cut top, jeans that were practically painted on her body and high heels stumbled out of the clubhouse. With a small nod to Catherine she took off. Not long after her brother came out.

"Who was that on the phone?"

"Jenny," she said with a smile. Like he'd know who anyone of her very few friends were. "We work together. She just wanted to make sure I was okay."

Matt nodded. "Look. What you said yesterday. About working on Christmas. I... I'm really fucking sorry about calling it off. I thought... I thought you were gonna be with friends."

She wasn't sure how to respond to that. If it was true, couldn't he just have called and asked?

"Okay," she finally said. "My door has been fixed. I'll be going back to LA in a while so... it'll be fine. It's already been decided that I'll go home with Jenny to her family at Christmas this year. I'm sure Gemma'll let you come to hers."

"Oh," Matt said and swallowed. "That sounds nice."

"I just want to finish helping Gemma with that stuff. If that's okay with you?"

"Sure. Yeah. She'll have my balls if I don't let you finish that. She went on and on about some fucking files that you were gonna program for her."

"I'm not gonna program them..." she sighed and shook her head. "I'll teach her."

He smiled at her but it was another uncertain smile. "How about we catch a movie tonight? I'll even throw in a dinner and I still don't want a blow job for it." He laughed when he said the last part.

"Ich! But okay. Sounds fine."

It was at least a step in the right direction and she hoped that it wouldn't be too awkward.


	4. Signet of Eternity

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I know I've been pouring out chapters the last days, but they're done so there's no point in holding on to them. Thank you for favs, alerts, reviews and for simply reading this!_

_For those who hasn't read any of the other, my thanks goes to **Simone Santos****, **as usual, for being my constant support. _

_And also to **MuckyShroom** who's agreed to beta read for spelling and grammar. In fact, she's taught me quite a few things already. Make sure you check out their stories if you've missed them._

_All remaining plot, spelling or grammar mistakes are my own._

* * *

**Signet of Eternity**

_Thou didst not turn in contempt from my childish play among dust,  
and the steps that I heard in my playroom  
are the same that are echoing from star to star. _

-o0o-

The dinner and movie was awkward as hell and by the time they got back to his place, she was famished. With a mumbled 'night' she went directly into the guest room, brushed her teeth and fell into bed. The next thing she remembered was Matt shaking her.

"Sis. Wake up!"

"Is it morning already?" It didn't feel like she'd slept even close to long enough. She looked at her clock. "Fuck! Matt, it's two in the morning."

"I can't sleep."

"And you're waking me up because?"

"It's your fault."

"My fault?" She sat up and looked at him.

"Okay, it's my own fault but I need to talk to you." He sat down on the edge of the bed but didn't seem to be able to look at her. "I wish I could give you some noble fucking reasons why I pulled away; it's part that I guess. I didn't want you to get too involved. You're so smart, you could do anything, become anything, and this... this isn't a good life for you."

"I don't plan on becoming a groupie, or anyone's girlfriend or even involved in all that. I just want you in my life."

"But having me in your life is having the club in it. There's no separating them." He took her hand. "It was safer for you to not hang around here and... not be close."

"I'm sensing that's not the only reason."

"No. It was also about putting that part of me away, behind me. I didn't want you around because I didn't want to talk about my family or even remember it. This is my family now. Get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah." She got it alright. He had a new family and didn't want to explain what the old family was about. It wasn't like she wanted to talk about that with people. She had just never included him in that part. "I get it." She laid back down. "I'll stay clear of you."

"No! Sis, that's not what I'm saying."

"I get it. I never saw it like that. When I saw you I didn't see that other shit, I saw the only good thing I had as a kid but I can understand why it was different for you. You were the one taking care, not the one being taken care of. You didn't have anyone the way I did."

"Baby, that's not it! Not at all. And it's not true, I had you too." He pulled her cover down again. "I don't even know myself exactly why I did what I did, and when you walked into that clubhouse, beaten up, fuck! I felt like an ass when you walked out."

He was the one looking like shit now. It was obvious he hadn't slept and really felt bad. Catherine got up on her knees and put her arms around his neck from behind. She didn't know what to say so she just hugged him.

He patted her arms. "I'm _so _fucking sorry for standing you up on Christmas Day."

"I was sort of expecting it by then. You'd stood me up quite a few times before that."

"I'm not saying it won't happen again. Sometimes I get called off on a short notice and I have to go."

"Matthew..." she hugged him tighter. "It's okay, just be my brother. You don't have to take care of me anymore, just... be my brother."

"I'd like that. And I'd like a baby sister again."

"Sure. I can help entertain your friends. Do a little twirl around that pole you got in the clubhouse."

"No!" He laughed and turned around.

"What is this caveman thing you got going with them about me?"

"I don't want them to think you're an easy fuck. Women around the club are... not disposables but... actually, they kind of are. Unless you're an Old Lady, you're anyone's."

"Old Lady?"

"Yeah. Means you're someone's girlfriend, steady girlfriend. She belongs to that guy. No one can touch her."

"So... the rest are like groupies?"

"Yes."

"But there's someone there all the time." She'd seen those girls in the clubhouse everytime she was in there. "If you want some, you just bring them with you?"

"Pretty much." She could see the smile. "Quite often we don't bother bringing them anywhere."

"Just whip it out, eh?" She shook her head. "And they think I'm like that?"

"Jesus, No! You're my sister, they wouldn't assume that. You're family. They respect that."

"I'm guessing that me being a stripper doesn't help though. We've had some bikers from clubs at the strip club. You're lousy fucking tippers and get pissed when it's just dancing."

Matt laughed. "We're used to get it for free including a blow job. At least."

"Yeah, we figured that out." She moved closer to Matt. "So until you make a girl an Old Lady she's just a groupie."

"The groupies don't become Old Ladies that often, but we still take care of the croweaters in a way. They're not _inside_ the way members and Old Ladies are, but we still protect them. As long as they know their place."

"And where is that, on their knees?"

"Not just that. It's... complicated and it doesn't matter."

"Okay, I won't sleep with any of your friends."

"And no fucking free lap dances."

"I've _never_ given anyone a free lap dance. _Ever_." That comment made him laugh and he turned and kissed her forehead. "We're okay, Matt. Just try to keep in touch."

"I will," he said and got up. "I'll wake you up in the morning."

"Yeah. And I want a ride to work."

"I'll give you a ride, Legs," he said with a smile.

It was the first time he'd called her that nickname since she got there. He'd given it to her when they were younger. It started out as the more teasing 'chicken-legs' but when she got older it was just 'Legs'. She had a teasing name for him too though.

"Night, Scruffy."

He laughed and turned in the door. "I'm glad you came here, Cat. I really am."

-o0o-

She had decided to go back on the Saturday. Rodney was going to stick around at her place for as much as possible for a while. Partly because he wanted to catch up on his sleep by getting away from all his kids, but also because he hoped that Caroline, her sister, would come back so he could kick the living crap out of her. His words, not hers. Catherine didn't protest since it made her feel safer.

The week passed fast and the Friday was spent in the office, explaining to Gemma how the templates she'd done worked and how she could use them. She seemed thrilled and really, really grateful. Afterwards they walked out to a bench and Gemma handed her a joint.

"When are you leaving, Darlin'?"

Catherine was getting used to all those nicknames by now. "Tomorrow."

"Got a family dinner tomorrow and you're family. Should come."

"I'm a bit out of my element here so I'm not sure..."

"It's just a dinner, for the invited and sometimes whatever favorite they have among the girls; but that's not that often."

"So... There's members?"

"Patched members, yes."

"And prospects?"

"Yes. They're trying to get their top rocker. The upper part of the patch on the back."

"Hence the expression 'patched members'. What else?"

"Old Ladies."

"Like you?"

"Yes, here in Charming the Old Ladies have a crow tattoo," Gemma pointed into her cleavage. "Then there's the more steady girlfriends or temporary favorites among the girls. And the croweaters."

"Okay. That it?"

"No. There's also hangarounds. Guys who help, basically trying to get closer to the club, trying to become prospects. Some of them at least." Gemma smiled and leaned forwards. "And there's family. We're a family in the club, but you're his family so I'd like you to come. It's just dinner, they don't discuss club business on those. It's a way for me to say thank you as well. I'm a mean cook."

"I'll be there. Want me to come early to help?"

"Yes, that would be good." She pointed towards the clubhouse. "They're getting ready for the Friday night party now. The girls might need some help with that. If you're up for it. Think it'll help you understand better."

"Friday night party?"

"They have Church on Fridays and party after that."

Church? Catherine stared at her and then she started to laugh. "You know, I'm a pretty clever girl but I still feel totally lost."

"Church is a club meeting."

"Okay." She took a final sip on the joint and gave it back to Gemma. "I'll go and see if they need a hand."

There were girls and guys without vests all over the clubhouse. She went into the kitchen and looked at Natalie, a girl she knew was a croweater. She'd talked a bit to her earlier.

"Hey. Need any help here?"

"We're preparing the meat for the grill and over there," she pointed behind her, "they're on chopping detail. Take your pick."

"I'm a good chopper."

She went over to the girls standing and chopping stuff and was handed a knife. While she stood there she realized that if anyone took a look into the kitchen and was asked to pick out the stripper; she would probably be their last choice, at least considering what she was wearing compared to the others. She also didn't have the huge silicone tits that quite a few of the others had.

"So you're Matt's sister?" the girl next to her asked.

"Yes."

"Planing on sticking around here in Charming?" She said it in a nice way, but when Catherine looked at her she flinched. "I didn't mean it like that. Just, you know, asked if you were staying."

"Didn't take it like that. And no, not really. I'm leaving tomorrow or on Sunday." Catherine wondered why she was so worried and she guessed this was another part of the club life she didn't get. There seemed to be a lot of those things.

"But you'll be back?" Natalie asked. "I mean, to visit."

"Probably." She had no idea what was going to happen.

They'd talked a lot. Matt and her. Mostly about what they'd been up to and things in general. The last two days had been a lot like old times so she was quite sure she would be back. She genuinely hoped that things would be different now.

"Someone said you're a stripper?" a blond, Trudy, asked.

"Yeah. It's a good way to get money for college."

"What are you studying?"

"Physics. Undergraduate at CALTECH."

Trudy whistled. "Impressive. Got a cousin that goes there. Really smart people at that place."

"Hey! Sis!"

She turned around to see Matt in the door. "Hey."

"Gimme a minute?"

"Sure." Catherine rinsed her hands and dried them off before following him into the corridor. When Matt stopped and turned around she took a deep breath. "Gemma invited me to some dinner tomorrow."

"If she invites you, you better go," he said with a smile. "Listen, we have these parties on Fridays."

"She told me. I'm just helping out in the kitchen so you don't have to worry."

"Eh, okay. But if you want to stay you can. If you promise to keep your clothes on." He added the last part with a smile. "No twirl around the pole."

"If you keep it in your pants," she countered.

"I'm gonna fuck all of Sunday," Matt said with a teasing, dreamy smile.

She went up and patted his cheek, "Poor little Matt, five days without pussy."

He laughed and put his arm around her. "You stick to me, like fucking glue, is that clear?"

"Yes."

"I'm serious. There's some others coming in and they don't know you're my sis. The hangarounds can be a problem as well, so you stick to me."

"I'll stick to you, like glue."

"If anyone asks if you're spoken for, you point at me."

"Are they gonna rape me if I don't or what?" He was starting to freak her out now.

He held her shoulders. "You'll be fine. All the Charming guys will be looking out for you and no one would rape anyone. They're just not used to girls who're not available so it can be hard to convince them you're not interested." He smiled, "Objectively speaking; you're quite hot."

"Fuck, Matt. Couldn't you have gone with 'attractive' at least? Not 'hot'!" she said and knew she looked about as uncomfortable as she felt. "You better not disappear into the bathroom with some bitch because if you do I'll use Tig as my protector, no matter the cost."

"Gotcha," he laughed. "Go and help the girls again. Make sure they treat you with respect though."

"They're nice, don't worry." When he nodded with determination she decided to ask. "What am I missing?"

"Loads, I'll fill you in later. Just don't let them trample all over you."

"They're not. Gemma told me to help them out. I think she wanted me to... get acquainted with the ways of the club."

"Yeah, and introduce you to it." He kissed her cheek. "Pay attention. Any problems, you come find me or one of the Charming guys."

"Okay."

When she came back to the kitchen she took the place next to Trudy again.

"I'm guessing you're staying for the party," she said with a smile.

"Looks like it but I have to stick on my brother like _glue_." She looked at Trudy who laughed. "Is he overreacting?"

"Sure he is but he knows exactly what they'll think of you when they see you. He's thinking the same about all the other girls." Trudy eyed her from head to toe. "I'm not saying you should be wearing anything like what I'm wearing but you should dress up."

"I think I'm gonna try to blend in."

Quite a few of the girls laughed at that comment.

"No offense, hon', but in clothes like that you don't 'blend in'." Natalie said. "But in a nice top and some tight jeans you'll look okay and it's not too much."

"I'll swing by Matt's place to see what I've got."

It took them about another half an hour to get things ready and Catherine spent most of the time just listening to them. She was kind of fascinated by them, why they chose to do this, be this kind of girl. Suddenly a tall, blond girl with huge fake tits and clothes that barely covered the essentials walked inside. She looked around with a superior expression and her eyes stopped at Catherine.

"New girl?" No one answered and Catherine was trying to figure out if this was a croweater, girlfriend or Old Lady. "What's your name?"

"Catherine."

She eyed her over once more before nodding and walking out. Catherine turned to Trudy with raised eyebrows.

"That's _Lola," _Trudy explained. "Doubt it's her real name though. She thinks she's all that because Jax likes to hook up with her."

"So... hrm," she wasn't sure how to put this. "Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're like popular with the right members you're like higher up on the scale?"

Trudy smiled. "Imagine how you talk about tits and thongs at your strip club. That's how we talk about fucking guys here, so no need to apologies." She was still smiling. "And how you act depends on who you are. Lola is acting like a bitch because she's a bitch, it's that easy."

"I'm guessing I wouldn't catch her dead working in the kitchen?"

All the girls laughed and the one called Rosie replied. "Depends on what you classify as working."

"I got ya," she laughed. "I'm gonna go and get changed."

Matt was sitting outside with Clay and some guys she didn't recognize. They all looked at her as she came over.

"New girl?" One of them asked. A huge fucking guy with long hair and a beard. When he stood up Catherine almost fell back. He was massive.

"My sister," Matt said and stepped in front of him. "What's up?"

"I need to get back to your place. Is there a car I can borrow?"

"I can give you a ride," the enormous man spoke again, but this time it was more to tease. They all seemed to change immediately when they found out she was Matt's sister, it was kind of fascinating.

"Again, Quinn, she's my sister and I doubt you'd fit anyone behind you on the bike."

"Take the van," Clay said and pointed towards the office. "Gemma's got the key."

"Thanks," she said to Clay and nodded to the other guy.

When she walked away she heard big guy's voice, Quinn, chuckling. "You must be a complete fucking idiot, Pinch."

"What?"

"Bring a sister, looking like that, to the clubhouse."

She didn't hear the rest of the conversation but she wasn't too worried. She'd stick to Matt, 'like fucking glue', and go easy on the drinking. That was probably the most important part, not to get too drunk.


	5. There Is Room For You

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I didn't expect this to get that popular since I haven't put a Son attached to it. But... no fear, she'll hook up. And thank you. I'm so glad you like it!_

_A big thank you to **Simone Santos **and **MuckyShroom **for their patience and amazing help. All remaining errors are my own._

_And to the rest of the freak circle; You're great, not sure what I did while writing before I found you all on twitter. Thank you for all those breathtaking laughs!_

* * *

**There Is Room For You**

_My boat is crowded, it is heavily laden, but how can I turn you  
away? Your young body is slim and swaying; there is a twinkling  
smile in the edge of your eyes, and your robe is colored like the  
rain cloud.  
The travellers will land for different roads and homes. You  
will sit for a while on the prow of my boat, and at the journey's  
end none will keep you back._

-o0o-

This was a party if she'd ever seen one and Catherine knew her mouth was hanging open on more than one occasion. Sure, she worked in a strip club, but that was all illusions. The girls pretended they wanted the men and the men pretended to believe them, but everyone knew it was all a game. With the exception of a few delusional, or very drunk, men. What the girls did here wasn't a game and she decided to keep her eyes open, she could sure learn some stuff here.

Matt was standing next to her, when she moved he did and when he moved she did. She got some eyes from the croweaters she hadn't met yet, but they were mostly curious. Two or three were not.

"Fuck!" Matt muttered. "I need to pee." He looked around and she noticed that there were no Charming guys free. He turned to her with a desperate expression.

"No fucking way!" she said. "I'm not going with you."

He looked around again and finally waved at Trudy. She came over with a questioning smile. Matt looked at her and pointed at Catherine.

"I need to pee. You stay with her, I'll run off for a few seconds and you better be next to her when I get back," he said.

"Sure," Trudy said and hooked Catherine's arm. "I'll stay with her."

Matt gave Catherine his beer and took off, half running.

"Having fun?" Trudy said as they turned towards the bar.

"I'm... fascinated," she answered and took a sip from Matt's beer. "And stunned, maybe some other things as well. But I'm having fun."

"Wait until the fighting starts."

"Fighting?"

"Yeah, in the boxing ring outside." She waved in the direction Matt had disappeared. "He's quite often in them. Us girls love it. Very sexy."

"How many are pissed at me about keeping him out of grabs?" Catherine asked with a smile.

"We're looking forward to him catching up once you're gone, but we'll live," Trudy laughed. "Besides, we have some visitors tonight, from other clubs, so we'll all be kept busy."

"The baby sister," she heard behind her and turned around to face a chest. "Not sure I caught your name."

It was Quinn. "Catherine."

"Did that idiot leave you here?"

"Not really. Nature called."

"Okay," Quinn leaned against the bar counter next to Trudy. "I'll stand here for a while."

Catherine nodded, "I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

Matt came running just a few minutes later. He halted and glared a bit at Quinn.

"Just looking out for her, brother."

"Okay, thanks," Matt said and put his arm back around Catherine.

Quinn looked at Trudy with a smile. "Think you deserve something for your troubles now."

Trudy giggled and put her arm around his waist and with a wink at Catherine they walked away. She stared after them.

"What?" Matt said, "What's with the look?"

"Just wondering if she's a gymnast. She's gonna have to have one foot on the east coast and the other on the west to make that work."

"Don't worry, Legs. Her feet have been there before," Matt laughed. "Quinn likes Trudy."

Catherine shook her head. "Not sure if I should say 'lucky girl' or 'go Trudy'!"

Matt took her back out on the floor. She talked for a few seconds with Rosie, who complimented her clothes, said she looked 'dead hot' with a smile and a wink.

"Cat," Matt said and pulled her arm. When she turned around she was eye to eye with a tall, shaved guy with pitch black eyes. "This is Hap, Lorca and Donut"

She turned her eyes from the black ones. Two black haired guys with predator smiles looked at her.

"Hi." She moved closer to Matt.

"Got yourself a girl?"

"No. This is my sister." Their eyes moved from her tits up to Matt, once they were back on her they were on her eyes instead of her body. "So play nice."

"Didn't know you had a sister," Lorca said.

"Got two but I only bother with this one."

"What happened to your face?" he continued.

Most of the swelling and bruising was gone, but there was still some left. "The other sister," Catherine answered. "That's just one of the reasons we don't bother with her."

Matt steered her towards a table and they sat down. Soon Tig was there with Rosie in his lap and Chibs as well, but he was alone.

"So physics?" Tig asked. "Why?"

"I like it," Catherine shrugged, she'd had that question so many times.

"Cat's the brain in the family. Think she got a big part of the amount of IQ our family was assigned."

"So yer wicked smart then?" Chibs asked with a smile. When Catherine nodded he leaned forward.

"Yeah."

"No modesty there," Tig chuckled.

"No need," Matt said and looked at Juice who came and sat down as well. She half waited for Matt to slap him when Juice looked at her but he kept smiling.

"I heard you're into superheroes and stuff," Juice said and she turned to Matt and glared at him. "I really like the X-men. Cyclops' my favorite."

Catherine bit her cheek and looked at Matt, "You're an ass."

"What?" he said with a smug face.

Juice was starting to look stressed. "What... you said..."

Tig and Chibs laughed when they noticed the looks between Matt and Catherine.

"You set him up," Tig said with a pleased face. He looked at Cat. "You hate superheroes and Cyclops especially, don't you?"

"My real pet peeve is the Ant Man. It can't even be considered a fucking superpower to be the size of an Ant. And you can't shrink things like that. It's impossible." She stopped when she heard Matt laughing. Then she noticed that Juice was bright red and she smiled at him. "He's completely impossible from a physical point of view."

They all stared at her.

"Is there anyone that isn't?" Tig finally said. "I mean, anyone who's possible."

"Batman, he's about the gadgets. But besides that, it's the 'one time miracle'-exception. One miracle is ok. I can live with that."

"So why do you hate Cyclops?" Juice asked. "He has the 'pure force beam'-eyes. That's just one miracle."

Matt laughed. "You shouldn't have asked."

"Why not, this is what you wanted, isn't it?" Catherine asked him and the rest of them, except Juice, laughed. "Do you really want to know?" she asked Juice and he nodded.

"Sure."

"Force always comes in pairs, it's balanced. So every action is accompanied with an equal and opposite reaction." They all looked at her with empty faces. "Like the recoil of a gun. You shoot and the force makes it bounce back. The recoil is to balance it out" And sure, now they nodded. It was simplified, but it was just so they'd get why Cyclops was bogus.

"It's the force of the bullet that makes the gun push back," Juice said.

"Kind of, yes. So, if Scot opened his eyes with all that energy, enough to force back a bulldozer coming through his eyes, his fucking neck should snap like a twig." She held up her finger, "And his head doesn't even bounce back a little. Which is impossible, unless, he's got the Hulk's neck during PMS. So he's breaking the one miracle-law. He's got the eyes _and_ the neck."

"During PMS?" Rosie asked from where she was sitting in Tig's lap.

"Hulk's strength depends on how angry he is," she explained.

"Oh," she said and laughed. "Really fucking pissed Hulk neck."

She laughed. "Yes."

"Can she do this with all the superheroes?" Chibs asked Matt and nodded towards Catherine.

"Yup. Really sucked having her as a little sister. She did this even as a kid. Totally ruined everything with a huge dose of realism. Like commenting on how clumsy all the scientists had to be to end up in stupid radioactive accidents all the time." He smiled at Catherine. "Her rant about Ant Man can go on for hours. How idiotic and impossible he is."

"Since you seem to know that shit, what's the deal with the Hulk's pants?" Tig asked. "I always wondered that."

"Comics Code Authority," she answered. "Not like they wanna have kids watching a giant green dick bounce around while he's jumping all over the place."

"That's it?" Tig sounded disappointed. He looked at her again. "Could you explain how an atom bomb works."

"She's smart, not a miracle worker, so I don't think she'll be able to explain the fucking relativity theory to a bunch of drunk bikers," Matt said.

She leaned closer and whispered to Tig, "I can, but we'll save that for next time."

"I'm going up in the ring." Matt turned to Chibs. "I'm letting you look after my sister and don't you fucking dare leave her anywhere."

"I won't, brotha."

"I'm not kidding."

"I'll look after her as if she were me own sister." Chibs held up his hand and said as an oath.

"Good, no fucking fondling your sister then." Matt turned to her. "Stick to him."

"I know, like glue," Catherine agreed.

He nodded when he got up and he patted Chibs' shoulder as he walked by. Once he was gone Chibs looked at her with a smile.

"Wanna see 'im fight?"

"Sure."

It had been years since she saw him box and she wouldn't miss it for the world. She got up and then he was next to her with his arm around her shoulders, walking her through the crowd. He kept the other hand in front of them and when someone bumped into her he pushed them away with a 'Hey! Watch it!'

When they reached the ring he stopped but kept holding her.

"How are the ribs?"

"Okay, thanks."

He looked down at her and smiled. "Could have a looksi. To make sure."

"I bet you could." She smiled at him and started laughing when he kept smiling hopefully. "Could pop some strawberries for you too."

He laughed. "How much is he paying ya for that?"

"A lot more than you'd think." He leaned closer with a big smile and those scars made it look even bigger. He wanted to know how much but she didn't want to say. "A lot."

"I wouldn't pay unless I could lick it off ya."

"No touching. That's the rule."

The noise from the ring made her turn her head and she saw her brother with a bare upper body. When she raised her arms to clap her hands, Chibs' arm slipped down to hold her waist.

She'd seen Matt in fights before and for a while he had trained at boxing, but quit after a couple of years.

"Who's he fighting?"

"A hangaround. They challenge us to show they're tough enough."

"You fight?"

"Sure. I train 'em as well."

She turned and looked at him. "You train my brother?"

"Yup." He turned too and they looked right at each other. "Never told me why he quit."

Catherine didn't want to answer, she just shrugged to indicate that she didn't know. It was half true. He'd never confirmed it but she suspected that it was because his training was on the same days as her dance training. Her mom and dad kept forgetting to pick her up and she'd caught pneumonia once while walking home in the rain. He dropped the boxing the week after she got well enough to go back to classes and he drove her to and from them from then on.

Bobby went inside the ring and broke up the fight. From what she could tell, Matt had won. He sat down on a bench and Chibs let go of her. "Don't move."

She stood still and hoped that she'd be left alone. Chibs said something to Matt who nodded. Then he came back.

"Yer with me," he said and put his arm back around her waist.

She tried to turn her head to see if Matt did something but he waved. "What's going on?"

"Give 'im some time."

A brunette walked up to him and got down on her knees. Catherine snapped her head away. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

Chibs laughed and hugged her closer. "I'll take care of ya, hen."

"Hen? The things I've been called this week!"

"Should be used to a lotta names."

"Yeah, but not just like this. In the middle of a normal conversation." She bumped his side with her elbow. "And they pay me for that shit."

"Are we on stuffing twenties down yer panties again?"

"Seriously though. Hen?"

"Woman, girl. Not in a bad way."

"Suuure," she laughed. "Where are you from?"

"Scotland. Can't tell?"

"Wasn't sure if it was Scotland or Ireland to be honest."

They were on the side of the building, close to the fence. He pointed at the ground. "Have a sit."

"Here?"

"Aye." He sat down next to her and dug in his pocked for something.

"Sorry that I ended up cock blocking you instead of my brother."

"S'okay." He lit a joint and took a deep breath. "Whatta ya gonna do when ya get home?" He asked with as little air as possible while handing her the joint.

"About what?" She inhaled and held her breath, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the fence.

"The sister."

Catherine shrugged while exhaling and then took another deep drag before handing it back to him.

"Make sure ya call yer brother if something's up when ya get home."

"I will. But one of the bouncers is staying with me for a while. He's hoping she'll come back."

Chibs laughed. "Hope she does."

Her eyes were still closed and she smiled. "It's been a while since I got properly high."

She felt the shift in the fence when he leaned back as well. They sat there for a while and talked. About nothing in all honesty but it was nice.

"Do ya know why he has toys tattooed on his back?"

"What?" Catherine wasn't sure she'd heard that right.

"Got toys, some cars, a ball and some other shit. Never told us why."

She hadn't seen that and he'd had a bare upper body when he was boxing. "Can't be big."

"Nah, on his shoulder," Chibs said and patted on his left shoulder. Then he looked at her. "Ya know."

"Nope." She knew exactly what it was and why he had it and she tried to hide her face in case her eyes were welling up. The ink was for her.

"Yer a shitty liar, love."

"Might be true. But I'm a shitty liar who knows how to shut up."

"That's good," he said with a nod and half a smile. "Better than a shitty liar with a loose lip."

"Think there's any chocolate in the kitchen?" she said and leaned forward.

"Munchies?" he chuckled.

"Probably. I really want chocolate."

Chibs stood up and held out his hand to help her up. "Okay, but I'll cover yer eyes until we get there. Promised yer brother you wouldn't see that shit."

"That's funny. He didn't want his sister, the stripper, to see naked people."

That made her laugh. She didn't mind him covering her eyes, she would've avoided watching anyway. The peeping Tom thing had never appealed to her. As they walked around the corner to the clubhouse he grabbed her waist with one hand and put the other over her eyes.

"Don't care what ya think. I made a promise." He led her and it was a bit uncomfortable. "Close yer eyes, we're at the door."

The hand disappeared for a few seconds and then it was back. She could hear all the people, the music and some unmistakeable moaning. It was all around her and she halted, scared she'd walk into someone or something.

"Trust me, sweetheart, and follow my lead," Chibs said next to her ear.

They kept walking and when she hadn't bumped into anything for a while she relaxed.

"How far?"

"Almost there," he said and then he yelled. "Get the fuck outta here." They were standing still and then the hand disappeared. "Ye can open yer eyes. Just don't turn around."

She watched him raid the kitchen cabinets and he put crackers, some chocolate and muffins on the counter then jumped up on it and patted the space next to him.

They sat there for maybe ten minutes as she stuffed her face with the things he'd found her.

"Milk?"

She nodded and took the glass when he gave it to her.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" Matt said as he walked inside.

Chibs nodded in her direction. "Munchies. Covered her eyes so the little innocent baby sister didn't see anything."

That made Catherine giggle. "The innocent _stripper_ baby sister."

"Jesus! What did you give her?"

"Shared _one _joint," Chibs said with a very amused voice. "All it took."

"Had some from Gemma earlier too," she tried to defend herself, but then she started to giggle.

"Okay, stripper baby sister," Matt said and lifted her down from the bench. "I'm taking you to bed."

"Can I bring the muffins?"

"Sure, bring the muffins, muffin," He shook his head and handed her a paper bag to put the things in.

She filled it and Matt put his hand over her eyes as he led her outside again.

"Did you get a blow job?"

"Yes."

"Good. Wouldn't want to be the reason for your blue balls."

"Did he try anything? Chibs?"

"Nah, real gentleman."

That made Matt laugh out loud. "Don't kid yourself, sis. He's no gentleman."

"I know. I just meant that he was nice. Didn't even try to grope me or anything."

"He wouldn't dare."

They were inside his room when he took the hands from her eyes. She turned around and looked at him. He was sweaty, some swelling but nothing bad.

"I know why you stopped boxing training." She wasn't sure where that came from but she wanted him to know that she was grateful. She didn't want to bring up the ink.

"Wasn't your fault _or _your decision. Don't think about it." He tried to push her towards the bed but she didn't move. Finally he sighed. "You had a double sided pneumonia because they '_forgot'_ to pick you up. You were twelve and they let you walk for miles, alone, at fucking night because they couldn't be bothered." He kissed her forehead. "Go to bed and don't think about it."

This time she did what he asked and after kicking off her shoes she laid down on the bed.

"Thank you. For today, this week and... all those other things you've done for me."

"You're welcome, Legs." He looked at her for a while. "I'm going back out there. I'll lock the door."

"Yeah," she turned to her side. "Have fun."

Two minutes later she was asleep.


	6. Clouds and Waves

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Thank you so much for your wonderful support. A special 'thank you' to the guest reviewers. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. This is a bit shorter than normal but I'll make it up to you.  
_

_Special thank you to **MuckyShroom** for having the patience to fix my English. And fast, she's great! (and an extra hug to you today!)_

_This time I need to super special thank **Simone Santos **who really helped me with this chapter. I was about to totally give up on that f-ing family dinner (as I called it in a number of mails to her) when she gave me that releasing idea. Thank you, love!_

* * *

**6: Clouds and Waves**

_But I know a better game than that.  
I will be the waves and you will be a strange shore.  
I shall roll on and on and on, and break upon your lap with laughter.  
And no one in the world will know where we both are. _

-o0o-

When Catherine woke up the next morning she was still alone in the bed. She wasn't that hung over; and after a shower, with some really horrible shampoo she found in there, she felt alright.

That almost changed when she walked out into the clubhouse. The place was a complete fucking mess. Her brother was sleeping on the couch with a half naked Natalie lying next to him. She found the coffee and set a pot to brew. While waiting she smoked a cigarette, doing her very best to not look towards the bar.

She took her cup outside, the smell inside was horrible and she needed some fresh air. Tig came outside a while later with a cup as well.

"Am I supposed to help clean up inside?" She asked him.

"Nah. Leave it to the croweaters and the prospect. You're excused," he said and sat down. "All good?"

"I'm fine."

"So last night didn't scare you off?"

"Didn't see much to be honest. They covered the innocent baby sister's eyes when they walked me through the clubhouse."

"Yeah. I saw that," he laughed. "I think you would've handled it just fine."

"I don't know. Maybe. Still not sure I _wanted _to see the rest." She took another cigarette when Tig handed them to her. "I think I got to bed on time."

"So..." he had a big smile. "What's up with you and Chibs?"

"He was the substitute babysitter for the night. Guess Matt had gone too long without pussy to be able to withstand the horror."

"The horror," Tig nodded with an understanding smile. "Not easy to have the baby sister hanging around."

"No. Puts a real damper on the sex life."

Once Matt stumbled outside they went to his place, had some breakfast and then slept for a couple of hours to get ready for the family dinner.

-o0o-

Matt took her to Clay and Gemma's place. She hesitated for a few seconds before going inside. She was a bit surprised to see some of the croweaters there, all working in the kitchen, but they were the nice ones so she walked in with a smile.

"Hey, Girl! Didn't see you this morning," Trudy said and handed her the knife. "Since you were such a great chopper and all, maybe you could help with this."

"I sneaked out. Tig said I was excused from the cleaning."

"All clean now," Natalie said and put peeled carrots in front of Catherine after a hesitant look at Gemma. "So don't worry about it."

"Honestly, I wasn't. I was just glad to get out of cleaning duty."

Gemma handed her a joint and she took it. She was going to go easy on that today though. After exhaling she tried to hand it back, but Gemma, still holding her breath, just pointed at Trudy who happily took it.

"So you're leaving tomorrow?" Gemma said and started on the tomatoes.

"Yeah, most of the bruises are gone so I can get to work again."

"I heard you saying that when you came," Trudy said and Catherine looked up at her. Trudy shrugged a bit. "I was there."

"Oh," she felt herself blush a little.

"Anyway, what's up with that. Not working with bruises?"

"It's a real turn off for most guys. Scars and ink are okay, but a girl with bruises isn't good; and a full face and torso of them..." she shook her head. "There's no point in trying. But the swelling is gone and I can cover the rest up."

"Wonder why?" Natalie said and emptied her cutting board into the salad bowl.

"Not sure. You'd get more customers with a face full of pimples. I know that much."

"Ich," Rosie laughed and wrinkled her nose.

"Hey, girls," Jax said when he walked in and gave Gemma a kiss, "Hey, ma'." He turned to Catherine. "Where did you go last night?"

"Got drunk and high so Matt took me to bed."

Jax laughed, "Last time I saw you, Chibs was holding your eyes and took you to the kitchen."

"That was just before I went to bed," Catherine nodded. "Judging by what the place looked like this morning, I got out in time."

"Girl, you left just when the party started," Jax said with a wink and walked out.

"Don't listen to him," Gemma said. "No one wants to see their brother in the middle of that."

"No, they don't," Rosie said and shook her head, the two other girls seemed to agree.

"I don't wanna know," Catherine said. "Really. No details."

"Looks like Matt isn't the only sibling in denial," Trudy was pointing at her with her knife.

"Not denial. Attempting to keep my sanity."

The next one into the kitchen was Chibs. "Something smells great!" He said and kissed Gemma's cheek before leaning over to look into the oven. "Is there corn too?" he asked as he got up.

"Of course!"

"Nice." He gave Catherine a kiss on her cheek as well on his way out, but didn't say anything.

"So really," Trudy said with a smile. "What happened there last night?"

"He got me high, stuffed me full of chocolate and then waved goodbye when I went to bed." Trudy looked at her with a smile. "That was it. Think he just thought my brother needed some."

She avoided looking at Natalie when she said that last thing. It was probably ridiculous, he'd probably slept with all three of them at one time or another, but she hadn't seen them half naked in his arms. She felt her cheeks turn red again.

"How do you do at the strip club?" Gemma asked with half a laugh. "With that."

"What?"

"Those blushing cheeks. How do you hide that?"

"I never blush there. Not sure why."

"Good. Would've worried about your blood pressure if you did."

"It's not the same. That's work." She could hardly explain that to herself, but she never blushed at work. No matter what, unless it would help her to make more money.

When she came out with the salad, Matt pointed at the chair next to him and she took it. Trudy took the seat next to hers and Jax opposite. Five minutes into the dinner she looked up over the table and smiled. This was really a family dinner and it was nice. It wasn't hard to understand why Matt wanted to be a part of this.

"Cat," Gemma said with a smile. "How come you two are so close? You don't seem very close to the rest of your family. To say the least."

She looked at Matt for direction but he just smiled. "He took care of me," she finally said. "He used to pick me up from school on his bike. The other girls were so jealous."

"Did he nail them?" Tig asked.

"I was like twelve!"

"The question still stands," he said with a shrug.

"Jesus! No!" She looked at Matt, but he was just laughing. "Oh, my God!"

"Not when they were twelve..." Matt said with a shrug.

"Who?" She stared at him. "Did you nail all of my friends?"

"Not _all_ of them."

She hit his arm. "Well, that explains why I was suddenly the it-girl in high school." When Matt waved his tongue at her she shrieked. "Oh, my God! Stop!"

The rest of the table were laughing their asses off. Matt gave her a hug. "Like you didn't fuck my friends."

"One! You're never gonna let that go, are you?"

His name was Jack and he'd been gorgeous, really hot and she was seventeen. He wasn't her first but they'd hooked up a few times. Okay, more than a few, but it wasn't all that easy to get something real going with one of Matt's friends.

"You broke his heart."

"I bet she did," Gemma laughed. "Then she dumped him and he couldn't stand seeing the brother of the love of his life so you lost your friend." She fake dried her cheek. "So touching."

"I didn't dump him," she protested and looked at Matt. "Did he say that?"

Matt hugged her and gave her a kiss. "No. In all honesty; I told him to stay the fuck away. That you were going places, as opposed to us, and that the last thing you needed was to get knocked up by some redneck."

"What if he was the love of my life and you ruined it?"

"He was a moron."

"And hon'," Gemma said and gave her a stern look. "It's only in your teens a girl is delusional enough to think a guy who can get her off is the love of her life."

"True," Catherine nodded. "And then we discover why God gave us a right hand."

"And dildos," she added.

"Oh, God," Matt said. "Can we leave this?

"No!" Tig protested. "It's just getting interesting."

"I agree," Jax smiled. "Tell us more about the hands and dildos." He even leaned forward and she felt herself blush again, but decided to see how far she could take it to get back at Matt for his tongue wiggling.

"I only have one, it's pink and..." and then she felt Matt slam his hand over her mouth.

"We're not having this conversation."

"Let the lass talk," Chibs laughed. "Sounds like she wants to get her sins off her chest." He held up a rosary he had hanging around his neck. "Will this help?"

But they left the conversation and the rest of the dinner was thankfully more about the others and not about her and Matt.

-o0o-

They had a beer at the clubhouse, all very calm, before Matt took her home.

"Sorry about Gemma. She want's to know everything about everyone."

"It's okay. Just... it's one thing to talk about it with you, but..."

"I know, Legs." He pulled her down on the couch next to him. "She'll keep asking though. I'll talk to her, give her the basics. She's a bitch, but she didn't mean to humiliate you."

"I know. I'm just not sure how to explain that it wasn't just you taking care of me. You were the only one who cared."

"Hey," he said and kissed her cheek. "That went both ways. You were the only one who cared about me too."

"And I'm sorry about fucking your friend."

"It's ok. He kept really fucking quiet about it. Sorry for scaring him off."

"I know what you meant and why you did it." She hugged him. "Besides, he taught me some tricks with my hands so I was okay."

"Please! Don't want to know about that!"

"You know, if you're gonna keep me around, I'm gonna find out so much more about you and your dick than I ever wanted to know, so it's only fair..."

He interrupted her, "But I'm not the one telling you that. So you can't tell me anything."

"I bet that if I hooked up with Tig, he'd tell you _all_ about it."

"Hon', if you hooked up with Tig, you'd need therapy."

"Ich, is he really that bad? Rosie seemed okay."

"Rosie's been around for a while. She's used to him and she's not that much better."

They sat silent next to each other for a while. "Did you know dad died?" she suddenly asked.

"Yeah, the lawyer called."

"She called me too."

She'd called Catherine one morning, informing her that their father had died and that she had some inheritance to claim. Catherine said she wasn't interested no matter what it was. When the lawyer continued by saying that someone needed to pay for the cremation, Catherine hung up. She didn't give a shit, she doubted her father would have paid for her funeral if the tables were turned.

"Did you pick up the ashes?" he asked.

"No." She didn't have to ask Matt if he did. If possible; he hated the man more than she did.

There was another silence and Matt hugged her tighter.

"Hadn't seen him in years."

"Me neither. He called and asked for money now and then. That was pretty much it."

"Did you ever give him any?"

She was quiet. She actually had a couple of times, but when he started asking for more, suggesting she 'whore a little better', she stopped answering his calls.

"Cat! Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I don't know, Matt." Maybe because she hoped that it would get different. "I'm not always smart."

"That's not it, baby. You just hope that all people can be good."

"Probably." She looked at him. "Chibs said you had a tattoo with toys."

He smiled. "Bet he did."

"Thank you."

He kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome."

"Is it a Rockstar Barbie, I always wanted one of those." She waited for him to catch up and finally he laughed. "Or a My Little Pony. Starshine was my favorite."

"What the fuck are you talking about? You never liked any one of those. You told me about how Barbie's organs couldn't fit in her when you were seven." He was still laughing. "No, it's other things."

"Can I see?"

"No, not today. You have to come back here to see it." He hugged her before getting up. "I really need to sleep. Are you leaving in the morning?"

"Yeah. Need to clean up and do some laundry when I get home."

As she went to sleep she wondered if there was a special place in hell for kids who didn't pick up their parents' ashes.

-o0o-

Matthew was standing in front of her with a smile on his face.

"I'm really glad you came here, Legs." He put his arms around her and hugged her. "It's been great to have you around again."

"Me too."

It had exceeded her wildest expectations to be honest. They'd talked, they were back on track and he'd be there for her from now on. She knew that. She'd gotten to know his new family, and they'd been really good to her. All of them had made an effort to make her feel welcome and that meant a lot to her.

"I'll call you, often and talk for long. I promise," he said into her hair.

"Good."

"And you come back here and visit soon."

"I will. If it's okay I'll could come for another week just before school starts?" She looked up at him. "Gemma's already invited me by the way."

He laughed. "Not surprised." He kissed her forehead. "I'll see you then."

"I love you, Matthew."

"I love you too, Catherine."

He gave her cheek a kiss and let her go. When she drove off she saw him waving in the rear view mirror.

-o0o-

She'd just passed the town limits when her phone rang. Wiping away the tears from her eyes she picked it up before checking who the caller was.

"Catherine."

"_Hi, Legs. Told you I'd call."_

"I just passed the town limits!" she laughed but secretly she was glad.

"_Call me when you get back."_

"I'll be fine, Matt."

"_Still. Call me."_

"Okay," she laughed again. "I'll call you."


	7. Old and New

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_The enormous support on this story continues to baffle me, thank you! I know I'm being somewhat of a nag, but thank you to Simone Santos and MuckyShroom as well. I'm sure you know why by now._

_Also, since some of those self appointed ff-sheriffs have started to lurk around in this fandom (and boy, are they going to be kept busy) **if my stories are taken down here**, I'll have them up at Archive Of Our Own as soon as possible. Obviously also try to put them back up here as well. I have the same writer name at that site. Let me know if you have any questions._

* * *

**7. Old and New**

_Thou hast made me known to friends whom I knew not.  
Thou hast given me seats in homes not my own.  
Thou hast brought the distant near and made a brother of the stranger. _

-o0o-

School was starting in four weeks and she'd been back home from Charming for two weeks. At the moment she was at work and so far it had been a really, really bad night. Some nights were just shit and when those nights coincided with when she was having a bad night as well, it was bad. Catherine knew she shouldn't have gone to work, but now she was stuck for at least three more hours.

When a customer told her she was an ugly fucking bitch she looked over at Mick, the manager, and he came up to her.

"Take fifteen," he said to her. He wasn't the most perceptive guy, so if he noticed that she was off her game, it was worse than she had thought.

He usually didn't notice since it wasn't his problem if they weren't making money. They paid a floor fee to dance there which included a deal to do at least two dances on the stage. He made money from the entrance fee and any drinks sold, so he needed the girls on stage now and then.

This also meant that the girls weren't hired by the club and also that if you had a really fucking bad night, you lost money. Catherine had never _lost_ money when working, but she'd had her fair share of low income nights.

The girls were allowed keep everything they made on private dances and tips. It wasn't a top class club, but still pretty high up in the chain, so the customers had money; it was just a question of making sure they spent their on her rather than one of the other girls. She had a few friends among the others, but not many, they were all there for the same reason, making money, so it was wise to not trust any of them. The only one she really trusted was Jenny. Besides her she made sure to keep on the bouncers, bartenders and the House Mom's good side. That was done with the help of tipping.

She went outside for a smoke to calm down and to try to pick herself up. Jenny came out just after her.

"Slow night?" Jenny asked and sat down next to her.

"Yeah. You?"

"It's okay," she shrugged.

"Haven't seen a single one of my regulars."

Catherine had quite a few regulars and she had a prepay phone to keep in contact with them. Sometimes she even made appointments to make sure she could take care of all of them and that they didn't come in at the same time. She didn't usually work on Tuesdays though so none of them would come to look for her. On the other hand it was good to work some odd days too since it gave her the opportunity to pick up new regulars.

When she felt calmer she emptied her coke and walked out on the floor again. She took another round and spotted some young guys around a table. 'Fresh meat', she thought with a smile and walked over there, hoping that this would save her earnings and allow her to go home.

"Hello, boys. Having a good night?"

They looked like college boys, judging by their clothes, watches and shoes, they weren't working class. Daddy's money was paying for the night, she assumed. She decided to give them five minutes, if no-one offered her a drink she'd move on. Guys like that could be a hit or a miss, it wouldn't take her long to figure out if they were prepared to spend a lot of money or if this was the kind of group who'd get pissed when she walked off. It never ceased to amaze her that some guys thought she came over to relax and have some fun rather than make money. It was a damn strip club, not a lonely hearts club.

They smiled when she came up and made room for her, one of them leaned over.

"Can I get you a drink?"

Catherine smiled, if they bought her a drink she got a share of the price and she had a deal with the bartender so he'd make sure there wasn't much alcohol in it. He'd offered her the drink before she'd even sat her ass down. This could be _the_ money maker of the night. Not even mentioning they were all decent looking and smelled nice. Stuff like that made it a little easier.

"Yes, please." She looked around the table, trying to not look like a cat who swallowed the canary. "Don't think I've seen you guys here before."

"No, we're celebrating, it's my birthday," the guy closest to her said eagerly and leaned even closer to her.

Daddy's boys that were new to this meant she could make a lot of money if she played her cards right. When she saw Jenny she gave her their sign that this could be a proper earning and Jenny strode over.

The birthday boy gave her a shy smile. "I've never been to a strip club, not one like this."

Catherine gave him a big smile and could basically feel the dollar signs flash in her eyes. "So it's your birthday and your first time at a proper strip club?" He smiled back and nodded eagerly. "Then we should take this to the VIP-room so we can celebrate properly."

-o0o-

It had ended up as a very good night. The daddies' credit cards had been glowing from proper use towards the end of the night and it had just been regular dances, nothing freaky and no one had gotten too handsy with her, Jenny or the girl called Sandy, who joined them later on. All three girls had taken a celebratory drink once the night was over.

As she walked out she tipped the bartender, the DJ and finally Rodney and the other bouncer. It wasn't obligatory but she always did, it was always good to have those guys at her side since it wasn't uncommon that customers asked them for advice on which girl to ask for. Sometimes they gave her hints on what cars the guys arrived in too, that was a sure way to find the money bags. She found the House Mom Clarice at the bar and gave her a tip as well.

"Good night?" Clarice said with a smile.

"Really slow at first," Catherine said and sat down next to her for a short chat while she waited for Rodney who was taking her home. "Then I found the golden ticket."

"Daddy's boys?" Clarice laughed.

She was an old stripper and now she was kind of the UN at the strip club, took care of the girls and made sure that any arguments were sorted as quickly and painlessly as possible. Clarice was a good house mom and that's why Catherine tipped her as well. She'd been at places with shit House Moms and they were the kind of clubs where you really had to watch your back. The fact that this club had a good House Mom, decent bartender and good bouncers was the main reason why she kept this as her 'home' club. It had some of the shit heads too, of course, but it was still one of her favorite places.

"Yup," Catherine smiled as an answer to Clarice's question. "Totally wallet raped them."

"Good girl," she said and raised her glass. "To young boys with daddy's credit card."

"Daddy's credit card," Catherine held up her glass as well.

-o0o-

The phone woke her up the next morning.

"_Hey, sis!"_ Matt said when she answered. _"Sleeping?"_

"I was working last night."

"_Sorry." _He didn't sound too sorry though. _"Just called to hear if you're still planning on coming here before school starts."_

"Yeah." She got out of the bed and walked into the kitchen. "Me and Jenny are going on a tour next week and she's dropping me off in Charming on our way back."

"_Tour?"_

"Not really a tour, just going to some clubs we visit sometimes. San Fran, a couple in Vegas, some other cities as well." She lit a smoke. "Sort of a 'work and vacation at the same time'-kinda thing."

"_If you talk to someone else her__e__, keep really fucking quiet about dancing close to here."_

"I'm not talking to anyone else there, so if you keep your mouth shut, no one will know."

"_Oh, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut,"_ he laughed. _"Do you know the clubs?"_

"I know the clubs. Don't worry, Matt. I've done this before, I'll be fine."

"_How does that work, you just walk in?"_

"Pretty much. We pay a floor fee, some tips to the others if they're doing a good job. They don't mind a new face now and then so it's all good." The kettle had finally boiled so she poured some water and put instant coffee in it. "I'll call you now and then."

"_Good." _Matt said a couple of words to someone on the other end. _"Gotta go, Sis. Call me."_

"Sure. Take care."

"_You too. Love you."_

"Love you. Bye."

Catherine hung up and looked around her apartment. They were leaving in less than a week and she needed to start packing soon.

She and Jenny had done these tours now and then, both summers and usually at least once more during the year, most often twice. It was a change of scenery and also kind of a vacation. She liked working with Jenny, they had the same rules and boundaries at work. Catherine didn't like to work with people who tried to push her into doing stuff she wasn't comfortable with, but that was never a problem with Jenny.

With a sigh she looked around once more and then took her coffee out on the balcony, she still hadn't had time to buy a TV, not that she missed it all that much.

-o0o-

Three weeks later, Jenny dropped her off outside Matt's place. She didn't follow her inside since she just wanted to get home to her boyfriend. They had made a lot of money and had a lot of fun, but now they were both tired and kind of tired of each other as well. The good thing with Jenny was that you could say that to her and in this case the response had been 'Know what you mean, I'm at that point where your hair color is starting to annoy me'.

So without any tears, they said goodbye. Jenny was gonna keep her stripper stuff at her place and all Catherine had now was a suitcase of regular clothes and her handbag. She walked up the stairs and knocked on Matt's door. He opened the door and immediately pulled her in for a hug.

"Good to see you, Legs!" He took her suitcase and held the door open. "All good?"

"Yeah, made a lot of money, had a lot of fun. Tired as hell though."

"Hungry?"

"No. Just want a shower and a sleep." She carried her stuff into the guest room. "Got any good massage places in this town?"

"No idea. I'll ask around."

"Just massage, no 'happy ending' place."

"Wouldn't have to ask around for those. I know them," he laughed, even more so when she shook her head with a disgusted face. "I'll ask Gemma. Are you hurt?"

"Not really. Just like to keep my back in good condition, all that time on those heels can give me a lot of trouble if I don't."

He nodded. "Take a shower and get some sleep. Gemma wanted to see you tomorrow."

"Just Gemma?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"No. The others wanted to get you drunk tonight though. They hoped you brought your gear."

"You told them I was on tour?"

"Just this morning. They're really pissed that I held out on them." He had a grim smile. "And I'm kind of hoping you didn't bring anything. And if you did, you're gonna tell them you didn't."

"I didn't. Jenny took it all."

He kissed her cheek, "Good. See you tomorrow."

-o0o-

When Catherine woke up it was from the doorbell again. She was starting to hate that fucking doorbell, it seemed to be her constant wake up call when she was here. That or Matt pulling off her cover. She'd contemplated sleeping naked to make sure he stopped doing that, but had resisted the urge so far.

She dragged her ass out of bed and went to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, hon'," Gemma said and Catherine opened the door. "Welcome back, darlin'. Need your help."

"Excel?" Catherine took the coffee she was offered.

"Yeah, I think I messed something up."

"Whatta surprise."

"Watch it!"

"Let me get dressed and tell Matt I'm leaving."

"He's already at the garage. It's Thursday, normal people work on Thursday's." Gemma held out the key. "Told me to give you this."

When she got out of the car at the clubhouse, Matt met her.

"Hey, how's the back?"

"Like I said; it's fine, just want to keep it that way." She turned to Gemma. "Did he ask you about that?"

"Got some numbers for you. All without 'happy ending'."

"Cathyyy!" she heard a yell and Chibs came up and gave her a hug. "Yer brother says you didn't bring any of the good stuff."

"I didn't. Sent it all home with my friend."

Tig and Jax were the next to give her hugs and suddenly they were all surrounding her. It was a strange but nice feeling and sure as shit helped her to feel welcome.

"Did you get any breakfast?" Matt asked.

"Gemma got me coffee."

Matt looked at Bobby. "Anything in the kitchen?"

"I'll get her something," he said and walked off.

"I need to help Gemma in the office. She did something with the... stuff. I'm gonna head over there."

She walked into the office and turned on the computer and Gemma came inside just after her.

"What's with the back?"

"It's nothing," Catherine said and started to work on the computer. "Just like to keep it that way. All those hours dancing in heels can really fuck it up."

She took all her grooming very seriously, regular massages, waxing, pedicures, manicures, facials, hair. The works; both because her appearance was what made her money, but also because she absolutely loved to spoil herself.

There was a quick knock on the door and Jax walked inside with a plate.

"Some breakfast from Bobby," he said and sat down in a chair on the other side of the table. He lit a smoke and she looked at him.

"Got any more smokes?"

With a nod he tossed her a pack.

"When does school start?" he asked.

"Monday after next, so I need to leave next Saturday."

He nodded. "What was it you studied?"

"Theoretical physics."

"Shit," he laughed. "I'm glad I managed to get through math in school."

"I'm sure you really worked hard too," Catherine said and Gemma snorted.

"My ass, he did."

"Wasn't that interested, I guess." He shrugged.

"I liked school," Catherine said and turned to Gemma. "You've messed up some of the formulas, it's not that hard to fix. I'll mail them to myself when I've fixed them. So next time you can just call me and I'll mail them to you too. That way you'll have them in your mail as well."

"Don't bother mailing them to me," she said. "I'm gonna call you anyway."

"She's thrilled," Jax smiled. "Should worry about giving her your number though. She's gonna call and ask for your help all the time, she hates that computer."

"I'm not gonna do that, you little shit," Gemma protested.

"Why aren't you asking Juice for help? I thought he was the computer wiz." From what Catherine had understood, Juice was the computer guy in the club.

"He keeps fixing shit that doesn't need to be fixed. Adding stuff. I could hardly turn the damn thing on last time he 'helped' me."

"She was really pissed," Jax had a big smile on his lips.

"Stop avoiding work," Gemma was obviously fed up with Jax hanging there. "Get the hell out of here."

"Fine!" He stood up and tossed his smokes to Catherine again. "You can keep those. If you're stuck in here with her, you're gonna need them."

"Out!" Gemma said again and he left. "He's a shithead."

"Seems like a normal son to me."

"Yeah. Like I said; a shithead." She took the pack of cigarettes and took one. "What's your plan once you're done?"

"With what?"

"School."

"I'm not planning on being done for quite some time."

"All the way?" Gemma took another drag and kept a firm eye on Catherine. It was starting to stress her a bit. "Gonna be on top of the school food chain?"

"As far as I can get."

"That's your dream?" She looked... confused. Or more like she didn't understand why anyone would want to do that.

"No. When I was a kid, my dream was the Nobel Prize," Catherine laughed. "I used to practice my speech in the bathroom mirror."

"Big dreams."

"I know. I'm settling for smaller these days."

"Shouldn't do that. Dream big, darlin' and don't let anything stop you." She smiled. "I bet you'd be the first former stripper who won the Nobel Prize. Probably the hottest one."

"I don't know, Marie Curie was hot in a wholesome kind of way."

"No one is hot in a 'wholesome kind of way'."

"Well, the only other female who's won for physics is Maria Goeppert Mayer. She wasn't that hot at all."

"Hard to be hot with that fucking name."

"I'm done," Catherine said and turned to face Gemma. "If that was it?"

"That was it." Gemma stood up. "Thank you."

"No problem." She took the plate and the coffee. "I'll leave my number before I leave."

"I'm gonna need it." Gemma pointed at the plate Jax had brought her. "Take this shit with you or I'll eat it. Fucking Bobby and his butter bombs."

"Sure," she said with a laugh and took the plate.

She watched Gemma sit down in front of the computer and walked outside. She had a feeling she'd be spending more time in that office before the week was over.


	8. Lost Time

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Thank you so much for all your reviews, favs and alerts. I really hope I managed to reply to all of you, if now I'm sorry. It's always a mess when I publish two chapters at the same time._

_There's an A/N at the end as well, make sure you don't miss it! _

* * *

**8: Lost Time**

_Hidden in the heart of things thou art nourishing seeds into sprouts,  
buds into blossoms, and ripening flowers into fruitfulness._

_I was tired and sleeping on my idle bed_  
_and imagined all work had ceased._  
_In the morning I woke up_  
_and found my garden full with wonders of flowers._

-o0o-

Catherine had been in Charming for five days and she'd been taking it really easy. She'd spent every evening with Matt, some of them just at his place, watching movies and talking. Now and then one of the guys dropped by and watched the movie with them. One night they were at the clubhouse, just drinking beer and hanging out. She'd been into the garage twice to 'help' Gemma. It was bull, Gemma just wanted her there.

This was one of those days. Gemma had called and asked her to come to the garage and when she got there, Gemma was nowhere to be found. Catherine sat down at a bench and lit a smoke while waiting for her.

"What are you doing here?" Jax said when he noticed her. "Ma called you in?"

"Yup, and she's not here."

"She's just trying to get you out of the apartment." He sat down next to her and lit a smoke as well. "She wants you close to bring you in. Probably got some big plans for you."

"Big plans? Should I worry?"

"Darlin', you should be trembling." When Catherine looked at him he laughed. "No worries. It's a family thing."

"She's very family oriented, isn't she?"

He laughed even harder. "You've got no idea! All about family. It's important to all of us."

"And family is all the members?"

"Yeah, and their families. At least the ones we keep around."

Even if they'd talked a lot, her and Matt, she still couldn't get his behavior to add up to how he'd completely cut her out of his life. He kept saying that it was a combination of wanting to leave his old life behind, but also that he didn't want her caught up in the club. That she was going places, that she didn't need her criminal brother to drag her down.

It wasn't that she'd for a second had thought that they were just motorcycle enthusiasts, but hearing him openly refer to himself as a criminal, that had gotten to her more than she'd expected.

"Do you all have families?" Considering what she'd seen and heard about their parties, they didn't seem to have a girlfriends or wives. "Like, wives and kids."

"Nah. I got a wife, we're separated. A lot of ex-wives around here though. Bobby's got two ex-wives and two kids. Tig's got one and two daughters. Piney's got an ex-wife and his son is a member, and my best friend. Opie, but he's inside. He's got a wife and two kids. Chibs' got a wife on paper, with a daughter in Ireland, but it's just on paper." He noticed her growing eyes and smiled. "Clay's obviously married to my mom and that's about it."

"A lotta ex-wives."

"It's not all that easy to be married to a biker."

"Be an Old Lady."

"Exactly," he nodded. "And it's that 'what happens on a run stays on a run'-thing too."

"Ahh, free pass to cheat." Matt had mentioned that.

Catherine couldn't really understand that part. That the wives or girlfriends were okay with it, but just seeing the Charming clubhouse full of willing women, she could sure as shit she why the men wanted that rule. As she'd understood it, quite a few women were willing to go pretty far to get that tattoo, the proof that they were an Old Lady.

"Yup," Jax nodded. "There's women everywhere, willing ones. He's trying to keep you out of that loop."

"Matt?" she wasn't sure how they ended up on Matt. "What, Old Lady loop or being one of the willing women?"

"Both I'd say, but the last one definitely. He made it very clear that you were his sister and here as his sister. Explained that the tattoo we were fucking with him about was for you. That even if you were a stripper, you weren't pussy."

"Doesn't seem to stop some of them. But I guess that's more to fuck with Matt than to actually hit on me."

Jax turned his head and looked at her, still had that smile on his lips. "And I guess that's why you're helping them fuck with Matt?"

"Yeah. He's giving as good as he gets though."

"He sure does. I'm not gonna get you to explain that tattoo, am I?"

"No," she shook her head and tried to change the subject. "So you grew up in the club?"

Jax nodded, "My dad was one of the First Nine, along with Clay and Piney. Died when I was fifteen."

"Sorry."

"You know, Matt never talks about his family, except you."

"Neither do I," Catherine said with a smile and got up. "Tell your mom that I'll be back this afternoon in case she really wanted me to help with something."

"Sure." He stood up as well. "See you."

Catherine went over to the garage and found Matt next to a bike and Tig.

"I'm leaving."

"I'd wait for her if I was you."

"She doesn't really need my help."

"Have a sit, Doll," Tig said and pointed at a chair. "Tell me about your tour."

"Freaky customers?"

"No, exactly where you went and when you're going next time," he said and looked at Matt.

"Not gonna happen," Matt said. "Don't say anything to him, Legs."

She laughed, Matt looked like he was about to swallow his own tongue and Tig's eyes were positively glowing.

"Legs?" He said and his smile got even bigger. "He's calling you Legs."

"Fuck," Matt said and shook his head. "It's not what you think."

"I know why I'd call her that." Tig ran his eyes over her crossed legs and Catherine could only laugh. "But tell me why you're calling her that."

"When she was like ten, I went to see one of her dance recitals for the first time." Matt squatted down next to the bike again. "She had one of those yellow tutu's and flopped around on stage with her skinny ass legs."

"I wasn't flopping!" Catherine protested and looked at Tig. "I was dancing, I was a chicken and this jerk," she nodded towards Matt, "Said it was very fitting since I had chicken-legs."

"That's mean!" Tig said.

"I was just teasing her. I had flowers for her and told her she did good!"

"Still! Say that to a small girl." Tig shook his head with a pretend serious face.

Catherine hadn't minded at all. She'd just been so glad that he came and watched it. He was obviously the only one from her family that did, and he had brought her flowers, a big bouquet. He'd looked so proud of her.

"He was really proud of me and I know it."

Matt turned around and smiled at her. "I was. You had the lead and all."

"Awww, little legs in yellow tights, I bet you were so cute," Tig said and batted his eyelashes.

"Be nice, Tiggy," she said and batted her eyelashes back, "Or you'll never see me dance."

"Honestly not that interested in the dancing, it's those tits I wanna see."

"I bet. Why don't you just ask Chibs about them?"

"Hey!" Matt interrupted them. "He never saw them."

"He did," Tig said to Matt before turning to her. "Why do you think I wanna see them? Already asked and he was very descriptive."

Matt muttered and cursed, but didn't say anything. Catherine just laughed. Tig's attention turned towards Juice.

"Hey! Captain Ahab, go and make us some coffee!"

Juice muttered and walked out to the to the sound of Matt, Chibs and Tig laughing.

"Captain Ahab?" Catherine had to ask.

"He picked up a girl at a bar the other week, and boy, she was big."

"White whale?" Catherine asked and started to laugh as well. "Jesus! That's not very nice."

"I'm not sure he really fucked her," Tig said with an amazed expression. "Seriously, he could have humped her thighs 'cause really, she was a big girl."

"Don't think he could find it in the creases?"

"Remember Mrs. Hansen down the street?" Matt asked.

"Oh, wow! That big?"

"That big," he confirmed with a nod.

She looked at Juice when he walked by. It wasn't that he was small but she remembered Mrs. Hansen. Very well. She was hard to forget.

"He must've disappeared into her," she said and Juice turned around with a horrified face. "Like sinking into Jello."

"I didn't fuck her! Jesus! Stop saying that! I was just trying to be nice to her." He looked at the others. "I didn't even leave the bar."

"Yeah, yeah, Captain Ahab, get back to work," Matt said and threw a screwdriver at him. "And we talked about looking at my sister."

"I was just..."

"Work!" Tig yelled and Juice ran off.

That's when Gemma walked in. "Oh," she said when she saw Catherine. "Forgot about you."

"In the fifteen minutes it took me to come here?"

She shrugged. "You look amused. Nothing to complain about."

"No. What was it you wanted help with?"

"Juice said something about remote access to my computer. That you could control it from your computer."

"Fucking Ahab," Catherine muttered and Tig and Matt laughed. She had to get out of this or she'd end up doing Gemma's job from LA. She knew she would.

-o0o-

That night it was just her and Matt. He made an effort and even cooked for her. Nothing fancy, some pasta, but it was good. While they were doing the dishes she looked at him. She'd been wanting to ask, but they hadn't really been alone until now.

"Matt, can I see the tattoo?"

"Which one?" he asked while drying off the plate she'd just handed him.

"You really have to ask?"

He smiled and dried off his hands before throwing the towel on the counter. He took off his cut and the t-shirt followed before he turned around. She took his shoulders and turned his back towards the light. It was made up of three classic toys, things she remembered from her childhood. A ball, a wood train and the thing that really was her, a Rubrik's cube.

Her throat choked up and she felt tears in her eyes. Matt turned around when she sniveled and gave her a hug.

"Approved?"

She dried her cheeks. "I love it."

When she was thirteen, he'd moved away from home. She'd been so upset, but he'd promised that no matter where he lived, she had a bed there and then he gave her a poem by Rabindranath Tagore called "Colored Toys" and told her it was about him and her. It hadn't taken more than four days before he picked her up, bruised and crying, from their parents house and took her home with him.

He was nineteen, but he was big for his age and he'd trained in boxing for years. He walked up to their dad and knocked him out. When their dad was bleeding on the floor, Matt leaned over him and told him that Catherine was going to come and live with him. Just that.

Matt had given her twenty minutes to pack up what she wanted and when she came down the stairs, he was still standing next to their bleeding dad on the floor. When their sister yelled at her Matt explained that he wouldn't have a problem with knocking her out as well.

So she'd lived with him until she was seventeen and got her own place.

Catherine hugged Matt tight. "I love you. I know I can't ever thank you enough for everything."

"Hey, you kept me sane too." He kissed her forehead. "You humiliated me on occasion. Like when I'd been struggling with that fucking Rubrik's cube for weeks and you solved it in ten minutes."

"Sorry," she laughed. "I just didn't understand why you didn't fix it. It bugged me when it wasn't properly organized."

He laughed and put his t-shirt back on. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." She dried her cheeks again and followed him to the living room. "You can pick which one."

-o0o-

It was Friday night and the party was about to start properly. She was sitting next to Trudy and Natalie on the couch with a beer in her hand. Matt had relaxed on the 'like glue' regime, probably since it was just Samcro this night. Even the hangarounds knew she was Matt's sister so they stayed clear of her.

She watched Tig nod at a croweater called Sally, she walked over with a smile.

"That's it? Just a nod?" Catherine asked the two girls next to her.

"Pretty much. But I gotta tell you, he's freaky as hell, but well endowed."

"Big?"

"Huge. Once he's done with the freaky stuff you're guaranteed a real ride," Trudy said. "Wonder what he's up to now?"

"Whatta you mean?"

"Sally is usually the girl he... experiments with."

"I'm not sure I want to know." Catherine stared at the girl Tig was leading to the back rooms.

"A while ago it involved fish."

"Fish?!" She turned to Trudy while trying to figure out what the hell he would... and she felt her eyes getting big. "Really? I hope it didn't have scales."

"It did," Natalie said in a matter of fact way.

"Ouch. She ok?"

"Yeah, told him it wasn't very good and he stopped, then he fucked her. She got off."

"Whatta gentleman."

"He had her in a bath with those little Doctor fish before that," Tudy giggled. "She said that part was okay, but that it tickled like hell."

Catherine once again turned and started at Trudy. "What?"

Both Trudy and Natalie laughed and then Matt was in front of them. "What are you talking about?"

"Trout," Trudy said with a smile.

"Good!" Matt looked at her. "Now you know."

"Now I know," she agreed. "Staying away!"

"He tried the fruit thing too," Matt said. "So please think about what you're telling him because he'll try it with a twist with these girls."

"Oh," she looked at Trudy and Natalie. "Sorry." She turned back to Matt. "Did he like it?"

"I didn't ask. I never ask! But I doubt he stuck to her mushing it between her tits." He extended his hand to her. "Come on! I'm going up in the ring, come and cheer for me."

She said 'bye' to the others and followed Matt outside. He patted Piney's shoulder. "Look after my sister, would you?"

"Absolutely," he said and turned around. "Come here, sweetheart. Tell me, how do you feel about tequila?"

"I avoid it."

"If I give you a straw?"

"If you give me a straw and make sure I stop drinking in time, I'm up for it."

"My kinda girl," he said with a laugh and put his arm around her.

She stuck to Piney, but drank as little tequila as possible. The amount he was drinking stunned her. It was a minor miracle that the man could stand up, but she suspected he'd had a lot of practice. After the fight, Matt gave her a kiss, asked Piney if he could stay with her and then left with a girl Catherine had seen a couple of times, but hadn't talked to.

Since she was a bit drunk it took her a while to see the flaw in his plan. She turned to Piney. "How am I supposed to get home?"

He laughed. "You're not going home." He waved to Clay. "Think we can set her up with a room? Don't think Matt wants her in one of his brother's beds."

She didn't really understand that comment. The part about her not staying in another guy's bed was clear enough, but there was something she was missing. She was sure. The fact that she was getting pretty drunk wasn't helping her brain activity though.

Clay sat down. "Sure, I'll get you some place to sleep. Alone. My Old Lady would have my balls if I didn't treat you well."

"She's a fierce lady," Catherine agreed.

"That she is," he said and handed her a beer. "Picky too, so if you're on her good list, I need to keep you on mine."

Chibs came and sat down as well. "Hardly seen ya this week, lass. Leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll be back though."

"Better," he smiled and handed her a joint. "Want some?"

"Gonna get me chocolate and lead me to a room when I'm done with it?"

"Absolutely," he said. "And Piney'll make sure I don't follow ya inside."

Piney raised his tequila bottle towards her and nodded. "I will."

-o0o-

When she woke up the next morning she swore she'd never ever in her entire life drink tequila again. Straw or no straw. It had been fun though and Chibs had kept his promise. He'd shoved some chocolate in her arms and led her to a room that Clay had said she could use.

She picked up her boots and walked outside. Bobby was in the kitchen.

"Can I get you something?" he asked when he saw her.

"Coffee and painkillers."

"That's what you get when you hang out with Piney."

"Fucking tequila," she muttered and sat down on a chair. Matt came just a few minutes later and she glared at him. "You just had to leave me with the tequila drinker?"

"He's a good guard. No one messes with him," he said and sat down next to her. "Figured it was worth a headache."

"How are you getting home?" Bobby asked. "Didn't your friend take the car?"

"Yeah, she did. I'm taking the bus."

The rest of them came one after another and sat down. The croweaters started with the clean up and this time Catherine didn't even offer to help. She just sat as still as possible so as not to not move her head unnecessarily.

With a laugh, Chibs took his sunglasses from his chest pocket and handed them to her. "Looks like ya need 'em more than me."

"Thank you." She put them on and leaned back on the chair.

She was never ever going to drink tequila again.

* * *

_A/N, As always, huge thank you to Simone Santos and MuckyShroom. The freak circle that I've mentioned now and then has a blog, link is in my profile._

_Two things:_

_First: The story of Sally and Tig's little experiments is something you can read in "Little Women: Mustang Sally" by UndomesticatedSoA. You can find it among my favorites and obviously I've asked for permission to use it. _

_Second: I couldn't find a good way to get the poem into the text, so here it is:_

_**Colored Toys**_

_When I bring to you colored toys, my child,_  
_I understand why there is such a play of colors on clouds, on water,_  
_and why flowers are painted in tints_  
_-when I give colored toys to you, my child._

_When I sing to make you dance_  
_I truly now why there is music in leaves,_  
_and why waves send their chorus of voices to the heart of the listening earth_  
_-when I sing to make you dance._

_When I bring sweet things to your greedy hands_  
_I know why there is honey in the cup of the flowers_  
_and why fruits are secretly filled with sweet juice_  
_-when I bring sweet things to your greedy hands._

_When I kiss your face to make you smile, my darling,_  
_I surely understand what pleasure streams from the sky in morning light,_  
_and what delight that is that is which the summer breeze brings to my body_  
_-when I kiss you to make you smile._


	9. I Am Restless

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I'm going away on holiday next week and I'll be in the woods in the north of Sweden surrounded by snow, without electricity. So I might have some problems to update, to say the least. It will also take me some time to respond to your reviews, but I will respond, I promise. Upside would be that I'll have a lot of time to write on the train so I'll be ready to update by the time I get home._

_I hope you all have a great Easter and thank you so much for all your support!_

* * *

**9. I Am Restless**

_I am restless. I am athirst for far-away things.  
My soul goes out in a longing to touch the skirt of the dim distance.  
O Great Beyond, O the keen call of thy flute!  
I forget, I ever forget, that I have no wings to fly, that I am bound in this spot evermore._

-o0o-

There was a hard knock on the door, she ran up to it and leaned forward to look into the spy hole.

"Who is it?"

"If I had a gun this is when I'd pull the trigger into the spy hole!" she heard her brother's voice. She knew it was him, but still took a step back.

"Matt!" She opened the door and glared at him. "Are you trying to turn me into a basket case?"

He gave her a hug. "No, just trying to make sure you're safe."

"Got a hug for two old men?" Chibs said with a smile. She gave him and Tig a brief hug each.

"Nice fat guy hat," she winked at Chibs. The comment made Tig laugh out loud.

"What?" He said and took off his flat cap. "What did you call it?"

"Fat guy hat," Matt said and smiled at Catherine. "It's from an episode of the Simpsons. Heard anything from the rest of our family?"

"No. I'm thinking about moving to Pasadena. To get away from this place, and the school is there too. So..." she shrugged.

It was October, Matt had been down to visit her a couple of times, but she hadn't been back to Charming yet. Gemma had called and told her that she expected her tight little stripper ass in her kitchen early on Christmas Day. She'd called other times as well, obviously, about the office computer.

"Sounds like a good idea." He put his arm around her and walked towards her kitchen area. "It's better if she doesn't know where you live."

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Got other business to take care of so we thought we'd stop by." He looked around the apartment. "They suggested we spend the night here, tried to explain that you didn't have a big place."

"If you wanna squeeze in, that's fine."

It wasn't a big place but it was enough for her and the big perk was that it had a very big wardrobe for such a small place. She had a lot of clothes, both private and for dancing. At the moment, Tig was holding up her pink, 7" stripper shoes with a revolver heel with a big smile.

"Nice." He put them down and picked up another pair. "How many of these do you have?"

"Quite a few, I've been doing it for a while and even if they don't last that long I like to have options."

"Break the heel?" Chibs was holding another pair.

"No. The plastic stretches from the heat and eventually your toes start slipping out over the edge of the sole. Not very sexy." She watched Tig starting to lift up a school girl skirt with an even bigger smile. "Why don't we go out for something to eat?"

"Yes, why don't we?" her brother said with a grateful smile. He was already halfway out the door. "Leave that!" He yelled at Tig who was still holding the skirt.

Tig dropped it back on the couch, "What club do you work at?"

"Tig!" Matt said with a very serious voice. "You fucking promised!" He turned to Catherine. "Whatever he offers for a lap dance I'll pay you double if you don't do it."

She gave her brother a kiss. "Don't worry, he can't afford me."

"Oh, baby, you're breaking my heart!" Tig said when he followed her outside. "But I'm fine with no lap dance, just wanna see your tits."

"The entrance fee at the club is twenty," Catherine said with a big smile and batted her eyelashes. "I'm in a thong on stage twice a night."

"What club?" Tig said, and gave Matt the finger when he started his bike to interrupt their conversation.

They went to an Indian restaurant since Matt knew that Catherine loved that. Both Tig and Chibs seemed okay with it. When they'd ordered and were waiting for their food while sipping on their Cobra beers, Tig looked at Matt.

"Have you ever seen her working?"

Matt choked and Catherine started laughing at the same time.

"What?" Chibs had a big smile.

"I discovered that she was working as a stripper by coincidence," Matt said but didn't look at them. Both of them started laughing at the same time.

"What?" Tig stared at Matt. "You were getting a boner for a hot blond with a tight ass and rack before you realized it was you sister?"

"Something like that," Matt said grinding his teeth.

"He almost got beaten up by the bouncers trying to pull me off stage and cover me up."

"It was really fucking weird," Matt said. "I panicked."

"Still not okay with it?" Chibs asked.

"I'm okay with it," Matt said and noticed Catherine's expression. "I'm okay with it. I just don't want to see it and I wish that these douches could stop talking about it."

"I think that if we got to see it, just once, we'd get over it" Tig said and turnd to Chibs. "Don't you?"

"Absolutely!"

They were interrupted by the food and for the rest of the dinner they talked about other things. Juice had broken his nose when one of the croweaters shoved her huge silicone tits in his face. Natalie had fallen off the stage while pole dancing and broke her hand. She was eagerly awaiting Catherine's return so she'd teach her how to not do that again. Basically tons of those little stories of what she'd been missing.

The rest of the night was spent at her place, drinking some beer and still talking. They left the next morning. Matt gave her a long hug and told her to take care of herself and let him know if she was moving and that he'd make sure she got help when she did.

-o0o-

Catherine had never considered enlarging her tits but that did put her at a disadvantage at a strip club. Not every guy was about the big tits but the vast majority of them were, there was no arguing that. What she did have going for her was the dancing. She could work that pole like very few people could and it was sexy. That's how she got people's attention. A slim, very limber blond with perky tits; it did attract some attention and she made a very good living out of it.

After her dance she put on a mini skirt with garters, thong and bra, all purple, and got out to work the floor and pick up some real cash. One of her regulars was waiting for her and when she followed him to the door after their session, she heard Rodney in the middle of an argument.

"You're the fifth guy today saying you're her brother. You're paying like everyone else and I'm not gonna go and get her for you. You wait for your turn. She's a _very _busy girl."

"For fucks sake!" She recognized that voice, it was Matt.

With a laugh she walked to the door. "It's ok, Rodney. He's really my brother."

Rodney glared over Matt's shoulder. "Okay, but the rest of you are paying to get in. And you'll fucking behave!"

"Oh, Jesus Christ!" Matt said with a sigh when he looked at her. "This was such a bad idea," he took her arm and walked inside with her. "How long are you working?"

"Six hour minimum and I'm not leaving until I have 600 bucks. If they don't close before that."

He stopped and looked at her "600?"

"Yeah, that's my minimum." He was still holding her arm, staring at her and that's when she saw Clarice coming towards them, probably to make sure everything was okay. Catherine waved at her. "He's my brother, for real, no worries and he'll let go of my arm when he gets over some stuff."

"Your brother?" Clarice said with a smile. "How very nice to meet you." She turned around and looked at the other guys, Chibs, Tig and Jax, coming towards them. "And I see you brought your friends. How lovely."

"It's okay, Clarice. I'll get them settled and make sure they understand the rules."

"Do that. Or I will." She looked at Matt. "I might look like a girl but I swing like a guy."

Once Clarice left, she turned to the others. "Follow me." She sat them at a corner table, ordered some drinks and informed her brother that he was paying for hers. "Not sure how to put this, but you're not popular at a place like this."

"Why?" Tig said while looking towards the stage with big eyes.

"You don't tip and you expect girls to spend time with you out of the goodness of their hearts or simply because they're impressed. They won't. They're here to make money and if you don't pay, they'll ignore you; and have every right to do so. Keep that in mind." She turned to Matt. "Why are you here?"

"There's some problems and I wanted to make sure you're ok. Can you come with me to Charming for a while?"

She ignored the 'coming to Charming'-part for now. "Yeah, but why are you _here, _at the club. You'll never hear the end of this."

"We have like a three hour window to pick you up and when you didn't answer your phone I assumed that you were working." He looked at Tig. "So _we,_ as in my VP and SAA, decided that we _had_ to pick you up here. For your safety."

"How long would I have to stay in Charming?"

"Like a week. You don't have to worry, it's just a precaution, bring your books and you can study at my place for the full week." With another look around the table he added, "I prefer you there after this."

She sighed. "Sure, a week but that's it. I can't miss anymore classes than that." She looked around. "I need to stay here for two hours at least."

"Okay," Jax nodded. "That's fine."

"And I need to do another dance on stage too. I have to do two a night."

"I'd say that's fine too." he said and smiled at Matt. "I'm sure Pinch'll live."

Matt groaned and Catherine kissed his cheek. "Just turn away when they announce Summer."

"You're called Summer?" He actually did smile when she said that.

"Yeah." She got up. "I have to go." She looked around the table. "Please behave, this is one of the better places I've been working at and I don't want to be banned from it."

She picked up a VIP-guest, one of the more normal ones. Once that was done she walked the floor, noticing that the guys had two girls at their table. After some regular lap dances, another VIP-room, she got up on stage for her second dance. This was a girl on girl dance and she did it with Jenny. When the Cramps 'Like a Bad Girl Should' started she turned on the autopilot to forget that her brother was in the audience.

She did accidentally look in that direction when she was bent over and Jenny slapped her over the ass with the riding crop, just before pouring 'whiskey' over her ass and licking it off. It was actually cold tea, whiskey got sticky. Tig's eyes especially were glowing. She didn't want to know how he'd react to Jenny pouring it over her shoulder, down her breast and drinking it from her nipple (it had taken them some time to perfect that one to make sure that the flow meant Jenny could just open her mouth underneath it to drink). He could probably perv that up so she felt a bit sorry for Sally.

They picked up another VIP-dance after that show, the two of them together, the guys just wanted a longer re-run of the dance. It had happened before. When she got out she went to Matt.

"What shoes are you wearing, doll?" Tig asked and she lifted her feet up on the table before turning back to Matt.

"I'm done, follow me to the backstage area so no one tries to pick me up." He nodded and got up. When they walked away she took his hand. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. I've seen worse. At least it wasn't a dildo show."

She laughed, "I don't do those."

Despite having him with her a guy stopped her. After explaining that she had to be on her way, she gave him her number and waved Jenny over to assist him.

"You're giving these guys your fucking number! Are you insane?" Matt said when they walked away.

"It's for a prepaid that I only use for customers. I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Oh," he looked a bit stunned. "Smart."

"You've never gotten the number for a stripper?" she teased him. "You suck!"

"Never wanted their fucking number." He pinched her when he said it. "Get dressed. I'll meet you out back in ten."

On her way out she tipped everyone that needed to be tipped, had a quick talk to the manager and explained that she had to leave town for a while but that she'd keep in touch. Finally she gave Clarice a big hug, a nice tip and got an extra kiss for it.

"Now keep those bikers on a short leash," she said while she followed her to the door to make sure they were waiting for her outside.

"Don't worry, my brother is doing that for me. Very caveman protective of me."

Clarice opened the door, Matt and the others were there. She pointed at Matt, "I like you a little better now. Take care of this jewel."

"Absolutely," he said with a smile. Once she was back inside he turned to Catherine. "Who the hell is that?"

"The House Mama, she takes care of us girls." She took the helmet from him. "I need stuff from my house and I'm gonna need my car."

"No car. You ride behind me we'll spread the stuff over the bikes."

"It's like a five hour drive!"

"Yeah, so?"

They all followed her inside and when she got out of the bathroom, Tig was holding another pair of her shoes.

"You must've seen shoes like that loads of times." She didn't quite get his fascination with them.

"I don't look at the shoes when I look at strippers." He was still eyeing them. "Might pay more attention to them now though. These are hot." It was a black pair with revolver heels again, he seemed to really like those.

"Not that many of our girls walk around in platforms that high," Jax said and took the shoe from Tig. "Like the revolver heel. Should bring these," he said with a big smile at Matt.

"No, she shouldn't. She's gonna be at my place, studying. The entire fucking time." He snatched the shoe from Jax and threw it down on the floor. "You ready, sis?"

-o0o-

Catherine was quite pleased with the chance to study. Matt cleared his kitchen table and told her she could leave her shit there the entire time. They'd eat out or at the clubhouse anyway. With no car she was stuck at his place unless he came to pick her up, but he called several times a day to make sure she was okay. She had no idea what was going on, why he wanted her there or how things were going; and she didn't want to know. Since not even Gemma bugged her, she assumed it was best to stay at his place.

On the Friday afternoon she was placed in front of her books as usual when there was a knock on the door.

"Catherine! It's me, Juice. Matt wanted me to pick you up." When she opened the door he was looking at the ground. "He wanted me to tell you that he'd rip off my nuts if I hit on you or if you flirted with me."

"He told you to say that to me?"

"Yes. He was going to make sure that I had, so please let him know that I did."

She shook her head. "Jesus! Give me a sec to pick up my things."

"Sure."

By the time they were in the van and on their way he still hadn't looked at her and she laughed. "If you have to turn right, can you look in my direction or do you have to hope for the best?"

"I'm not sure, but if I do look at you, don't tell him," he did say it with a smile.

"Cross my heart." She should probably have a talk with her dear brother about this.

Once they reached their destination she got out and went into the clubhouse without waiting for Juice. Trudy smiled when she saw her.

"I've heard rumors that you were here but I though it was a vicious lie since I didn't see you."

"I've been busy studying. I'm missing some classes since I'm here."

"It's good to see you though. Staying for the party?" Trudy seemed to assess her outfit with a concerned expression.

"Maybe," she scanned the bar and saw Matt with a brunette next to him. When he saw her he got up. "I'm gonna go see what's up."

"Sure." Trudy gave her another hug. "Make sure you say bye before leaving."

"Absolutely." She walked over to meet Mat. "You threatened to punish him if _I_ flirted too?"

"At least I know he relayed my message." He put his arm around her and walked her over to the bar. "Thought you needed to get out of the apartment for a while. Kept your nose in those books the entire time."

"So what's the plan?"

"We're gonna get something to eat, then I've got church and finally;" He gave her a big smile. "I'm getting you drunk for being such a good girl all week."

"Don't mean to be impolite but when can I go back home?"

"I can take you home on Sunday."

"Don't be silly. I'll take the bus."

"No."

"Matthew, I'm going to take the bus. If it makes you happy you can pay for it but I'm not doing another five hour ride."

He kissed her forehead. "Ok. But I'm paying."

"Why are you so obsessed with Juice by the way?"

"Obsessed with all of them when it comes to you. Tig telling everyone about your act doesn't help."

"I'll behave, keep my clothes on and dress moderately."

"Thank you."

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the little lass with the high heeled shoes." Chibs gave her a tight hug. "Good to see ya. We were starting to think yer brother were gonna hold ya prisoner and ship ya back home without letting us see ya again."

"I had a lot of work to do."

"Don't try to defend 'im." Chibs glared at Matt with a crooked smile. "Is he trying to sneak ya off fer dinner too?"

Catherine gave Matt an uncertain eye. "I asked him to take me to a sushi place."

"Yer one lucky fuck, Pinch. Gotta woman who'll defend ya to the last drop." He put his arm around her shoulders and led her towards the door. "I'll show ya the best sushi place in Charming."

"Okay?" She looked over her shoulder and saw Matt following them. "Are we bringing Matt?"

Chibs turned around and waved at Matt. "Think you've had 'er enough, Pinch. I'll take care of 'er, get yer dick sucked." He spun around again and hollered one last time over his shoulder. "Look's like ya need to relax."

He gave her a helmet and she got up behind him. It was a short ride before he stopped in front of a sushi place.

"How's this?" he asked.

"Perfect." She got off the bike and waited for him. "Just so you know, Matt was buying so you're gonna do that too."

"Don't think ye'll eat enough to get me broke, hon'."

She sighed. "At least you're not calling me 'hen' anymore."

-o0o-

The dinner was a lot of fun, mostly since she laughed so hard at not understanding a word he was saying unless he talked to her as if she was a retard. Afterwards, Chibs took her to Matt's place. She changed into jeans and a grey lace camisole. Not the short kind, it covered the essentials. On her way out she grabbed her leather jacket.

Chibs smiled when she came outside.

"Nice. Even Pinch can't object to that."

She sat up behind him and when they got to the clubhouse she went into the kitchen to help the other girls. Trudy, Rosie, Natalie and Sally were in there.

They stood and chatted while preparing food. Finally she gathered up her courage and turned to Sally.

"I'm sorry about the fruit-thing. It was kind of my fault."

"Yeah, he told me he got the idea from you," she smiled. "Does the customer really just look at you while you mash the fruit between your tits?"

"Yes."

Sally shook her head. "I don't get it. Don't think he did either."

"Me neither. Anyway, I'm sorry, I'll try not to give him any more ideas."

"No worries, he did more than watch."

Catherine stared at Sally. "That's kind of what I'm apologizing for."

"What did he do?" Trudy asked curiously.

"He ate a banana from my pussy." Sally had the biggest smile. "And some other stuff."

Catherine knew she was still staring, but she couldn't stop. "He shoved a banana up you..."

"He left the peel on that half."

"Oh, well, then I guess that's just amazeballs," she said, but then she couldn't help herself, she started to laugh. "Jesus! I am so shutting up about my customers from now on."

"Don't worry, hon'," Sally said and patted her arm. "If it's not you, it's somethin' else. He's got this whole sorta 'porn Mythbuster' thing goin' on in his freaky little head."

She was so going to stay away from Tig, no matter how big his dick was. Matt came in a few minutes later and gave her a hug.

"How was dinner?"

"Sorry. He caught me by surprise,"

"I know," Matt smiled. "Come on, I'll get you a beer."

They sat down at a table. Two beers in, Chibs came over and slammed a bottle of Jameson on the table.

She did have some memories after that. One was Tig holding her foot, talking about her shoes. Another was Sally in Tig's lap while Tig was still talking about her shoes. Matt with a redhead in his lap and Piney giving her a straw. There was something with Jax, talking about blonds. The last thing was her, in Matt's lap, telling him how much she loved him and that he shouldn't hold back on her account and should get properly laid even if she was there.

* * *

_Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the "Porn Mythbuster"-line. All **MuckyShroom**. A wonderful example of why you need to read her stories as well. Again, Sally is in one of the stories she does as a collaboration with **Voracious Bitch** under the name **UndomesticatedSOA. **You can find it under my favorite stories._


	10. The Astronomer

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

**_I accidentally posted chapter 9 twice. I'm very Sorry._**

_I'm temporarily in town and since my beta is quick I was able to get this chapter up. Another A/N at the end of the chapter._

_I hope you had a great Easter and thank you so much for your reviews, alerts and follows. As always also a big thank you to Simone Santos and MuckyShroom for helping me shape up the chapters and the story. Another thank you to the Freak Circle, I miss you girls when I'm off the grid._

* * *

_**10. The Astronomer**_

___I only said, "When in the evening the round full moon gets  
entangled among the beaches of that Dadam tree, couldn't somebody  
catch it?"  
But dada laughed at me and said, "Baby, you are the silliest  
child I have ever known. The moon is ever so far from us, how could  
anybody catch it?"  
I said, "Dada, how foolish you are! When mother looks out of  
her window and smiles down at us playing, would you call her far  
away?"_

Catherine's head was pounding and she was afraid to open her eyes. She knew it was going to pound even worse when she did. Slowly her brain registered other things; like the fact that someone was lying next to her. When she remembered that she was at the clubhouse she was terrified of opening her eyes and was praying to God that it was her brother lying next to her.

Ever so carefully she turned her head and opened her eyes. The only thing going through her head was 'Oh, my fucking God!'. It was Chibs, thankfully he was asleep. She wondered if she could just sneak out of there and hope that he didn't remember anything about what happened either.

That's when she started to notice other things. She was wearing her camisole and when she let her hand slide down her stomach, she felt her panties as well. So, not remembering much and still in at least some of her clothes... it could mean that he just... what? With a deep breath she lifted the cover and looked at Chibs underneath it. He had boxers on and was sporting some nice ink, she realized.

"Whatta ya doin'?"

Her eyes flew up to his face. "Trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing in your bed."

"Not my bed," he mumbled with his eyes once again closed.

She looked around and realized that she was in Matt's room. "Okay, then what the fuck are you doing in Matt's bed?"

"He's in mine." Chibs sat up. "How's the 'ed?"

"The what?"

"'Ed! How's the 'ed?"

"Oh, the head! It's shit." She cleared her throat and he turned around and looked at her. She was trying to figure out a good way to ask him for more details about what had happened the night before when, to her horror, she felt herself blush. Chibs laughed.

"Spit it out, love."

"Did we..."

He feigned horror and put his hand on his chest. "Ya mean ya don't remember? Best night of me life and you've forgotten all about it." He laughed again and got up. "Don't worry, love. If we get to that, you'll remember."

Chibs put on his jeans and went out of the room. Catherine laid back down with a relieved exhale. She contemplated going outside to find something for her headache, but decided to just try to get some sleep instead. When she had almost dozed off the door opened again.

It was Chibs coming back in with a glass in his hand. He handed it to her.

"What is this?"

"For the 'ed." Then the man proceeded to take off his jeans again.

"Okay, what are you doing now?"

"I need more sleep."

"In here?"

"Yer brother is still in me bed." He was in the bed, underneath the same cover as her again and she glared at him. "I'm not going. Drink that and get back down. Haven't groped ya yet. Have I?"

"Like I'd know if you had."

He chuckled. "Just drink and get back down."

With a resigned sigh she emptied the glass and laid back down.

"Chibs, any chance you'll tell me how I ended up in the bed with you."

"You got stupid drunk, I took you here and when I went to my room yer brother was banging some chick."

"And you took off my clothes."

"I've seen ya in a g-string." She didn't miss that smile on his lips.

"At work!"

"Is there a difference? Same arse isn't it?"

"Huge difference to me, Chibs?"

"Sorry, didn't think you'd mind. Next time I'll leave yer clothes on."

"Won't be a next time. I'm never drinking scotch with you again."

"Whiskey! Jameson is whiskey."

"Never figured out the difference." Her eyes were closed now and she was about to fall asleep. "But thanks for telling me."

"Scotch is from Scotland."

"Like you." She smiled to herself. "You know I might not understand half of what..." A hand landed softly on her mouth.

"Please, shut up."

When his hand left her mouth she turned around with her back against him. "Understood that just fine."

-o0o-

The next time she woke up she was holding someone. She looked up in horror and noticed her arm around Chibs chest, her head on his arm and her leg over his.

"Oh fuck!" She flew back.

"No worries." He dried his shoulder. "Apart from the drooling it was comfy."

"Drooling?" She dried her cheek. "Oh god! At least this day can't get much worse."

"Sure it can," Chibs said as he got out of the bed. "Could get shot."

He walked into the bathroom and she laughed at his comment. He was probably right and he seemed pretty okay with the situation. She took the opportunity to put on her jeans and was digging around for a hoodie when he came back out.

"Chibs, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"My brother isn't really telling me st..." she didn't get any further.

"Nah, nah, nah. I'm already on his shitlist for sleeping in 'ere so I'm not gonna dig meself a deeper grave." He noticed her scrambling around and threw her a hoodie. "Here."

"I just wanna know if it's okay now. If I need to worry about going home."

"It's all okay. He wouldn't let you go if he wasn't sure." He kept looking at her. "Why wouldn't he tell you that?"

"He keeps telling me to not ask questions," she said as she pulled the hoodie over her head. "Where are my shoes?"

His lips turned into a big smile. "You gave 'em to Tig."

"Why would I do that?" She couldn't even begin to imagine why she would've done that.

"I have no idea, love." He opened the door. "Come on. I'll get you some breakfast."

-o0o-

Chibs scared off some people from one of the tables and got her breakfast. He also got her shoes back from Tig, something she was very thankful for since they were one of her favorite pairs. Finally he took her back to Matt's place. As she got off the bike she was so grateful. He'd been so great with her from the moment he'd pulled her out of Matt's arms.

"Thank you so much, Chibs. For... everything. I've had a great time with you." He turned his head to the side and tapped his cheek. She leaned forward and gave his cheek a kiss. "You're a true gentleman."

"Yeah, don't spread it."

"Wouldn't dream of it." She smiled when he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Really though. Thank you."

"Just get yer arse back here for Christmas."

"No scotch or whiskey."

"I was thinking tequila."

"That's not going to happen."

He laughed and gave her a hug. "See you around, love." He gave her cheek a kiss before he took off.

Matt came back about an hour after her. He eyed her for another two hours until she told him to stop freaking out; she hadn't had sex with Chibs and she wasn't pissed that he'd left her with him for the full night.

-o0o-

She left on the Sunday, and Matt followed her to the bus station, giving her a long hug.

"Take care, Legs. And call if you need anything."

"I'll be fine. You can call me if you need to borrow money though."

He kissed her cheek with a laugh. "I might do that."

It was a bit strange to walk into school on Monday and when someone asked her where she'd been she was purposely vague. She met Jenny for lunch.

"How was Charming?"

"Fine. Mostly studied."

"And you didn't get banged by one of those very manly bikers?" Jenny winked, but when Catherine blushed she started. "You did! Dirty, dirty girl! Tell me all about it."

"I didn't! Just... sort of fell asleep with one of them."

"How did that happen?"

"I got really, really drunk. He took me to bed and then noticed that Matt was in his bed so he came back to mine."

"And?" Jenny was seriously leaning forward in anticipation.

"That was pretty much it. At least that's what he says. I don't remember."

"Oh, brain was still playing but didn't record. That's how drunk you got?"

"Whiskey."

"Ahhh. So no nookie for Cathy?"

"No nookie," she confirmed.

Jenny shook her head. "Seriously, when's the last time you got some?"

"Not that long. I'm fine."

"If you say so," She rolled her eyes. "I gotta go."

"Okay. Are you working tonight?"

"Yeah, I thought I would."

That night Catherine got into trouble: Or not exactly trouble, just one of the customers who took his little baby fetish a bit far. She'd been okay with dancing with baby rattles, even drinking from a baby bottle. He'd watched with a pacifier in his mouth and the time before that he'd had a onesie on underneath his chinos and sweatshirt. Basically; he had started to freak her out, but he was paying her very well and she'd seen worse. Until that night at least.

That night, he pulled off his pants and had a diaper on.

"I'll give you 1000 dollars if you change my diaper," he said with a big smile.

There was no fucking mistaking that smell. Even if he'd offered her a million fucking dollars she would've done exactly what she did next. She threw open the door and yelled for Rodney. He came barging in with Tom, the other bouncer, behind him.

She just pointed at the customer lying on his back on the floor. They grabbed him and hauled him up.

"How much does he owe you?" Rodney asked when he found the customer's wallet.

"150," she said. Rodney gave her the money.

"I'm taking another fifty for me and my guy here, just for the horror of seeing this... shit," Rodney growled then he looked at Catherine. "You wanna see him again?"

She shook her head. It sucked, he'd been a good income, but she was not going into a room with that man again. Rodney nodded and looked at the customer again.

"If I ever see you here again I'll make sure that you're forced to make use of that bottle and diaper for the foreseeable future, is that clear?"

Then he hauled him out and Catherine followed behind them out to the floor. "A drink," she said to the girl working behind the bar.

"Alcohol?" she asked with a surprised voice. Catherine didn't drink that often, but she really needed one after that experience.

She worked another three hours without any more incidents and went out to a bar for another drink with Jenny and one of the new girls. She was called Trixie on stage and Catherine never asked for her real name.

Catherine worked another two nights that week and she'd had something shitty happen every shift, so by Friday she decided to skip work that weekend. Her mood was bad so if a customer meant trouble she'd probably do her very best to knock the shit outta him.

Instead she went to the library to study. Around ten her phone rang.

"_Hey sis! Why are you answering? You never answer when you're at work!"_

"Give me a minute," she said and got up to go outside so she didn't disturb the few other people in the study hall. "I'm at the library," she said as she got outside.

"_On a Friday?"_

"Yes. Why are you calling if you think I'm not going to answer."

"_They hassled me into it." _Matt said and she heard the noise around him. He was obviously in the middle of the Friday night party. _"Really though, why aren't you working?"_

"I've had a shitty week at work and I think I'm mid PMS. Don't want to hurt customers."

"_Why, they been mean to you? Do you want me to come there and kill someone?"_

"Nah, just some freak on Monday, a guy wanting to whip me on Wednesday and yesterday a guy said my tits were shit and that he'd pay for a boob job if he could come back and squeeze them."

"_Not sure I wanna hear about the Monday freak__. D__on't you dare let a guy whip you and I'm sure you tits are fine the way they are."_

"_Better than fine," _she heard Chibs in the background. "_Fucking beauuutiful, nice shape and the nipple..."_ He was interrupted, by the sounds of it, Matt hit him.

"_Scuse me sis. I'm gonna have to take Chibs up in the ring. I'll call you."_

"I love you and say thank you to Chibs."

"_That's not going to happen," _Matt growled and hung up.

Catherine went back into the study hall with a smile on her lips. It was always fun when Matt called from the clubhouse. At least one of the guys always tried to butt in on the conversation. She'd realized the other day that she really missed them and she was looking forward to going up there for Christmas.

-o0o-

Matt came and visited over a weekend, alone. He took her out to dinner and on the Saturday they went out for drinks with Jenny and her boyfriend. Jenny was really warming up to him; telling her about the toy tattoo and explaining it had gotten rid of her last objections.

It was a slow, relaxing weekend and once again they talked, a lot. On the Sunday before he left they were both vegged out in her couch.

"So, how much do I have to worry that you'll go to jail?"

"It's a risk, Legs, but not as big a risk as you would think. And at the moment things are really calm." He was leaning back with his arms spread out on the backrest.

"If they're calm, why did I have to go and spend a week in Charming?"

"We were closing some deals, I wanted you there to make sure you were safe."

"Wouldn't I be at a bigger risk in Charming, in the middle of it all?" That had been something that she'd thought about by the time she got back home. That it seemed a bit odd that he had brought her there if things were going on.

"If things had gone bad we'd have gone into lockdown. We bring everyone in and keep them at the clubhouse with armed guards."

That really scared her and it sounded seriously fucked up. To stash up people and keep armed guards. She assumed they were talking proper weapons, not knives.

"Jesus! Is that something you do often?"

"No, but it happens. Don't worry about it, _or_ me. I'll be fine."

She looked at him and finally moved closer to him and he put his arms around her.

"How much are they teasing you after seeing me strip?"

"A bit. They've been trying to get the girls to do that trick with the whiskey, pouring it over the shoulder and drink from beneath the tit. Floor gets really fucking sticky from that."

She laughed since she could imagine how sticky the floor got. "We use tea to avoid that."

"Not sure I can get the guys to drink tea." He kissed her temple. "It's okay. Tig's been very much about the shoes."

"He gets really obsessed with things, doesn't he?"

"Yup. Told you he was freaky."

"At least he's not taking a dump in adult diapers and trying to get someone to change it for him."

Matt stared at her with big eyes. "Fuck! Do _not_ tell him about that. I like Sally and even she would get the fuck out for something like that."

"Of course I won't tell him that!" She looked up at him. "I'm not that sadistic."

He left later that day and once again told her that he'd been ordered by Gemma to say she had to come up for Christmas; and she once again said she had no plans on bailing out on them.

* * *

_I did realize yesterday when I finished this chapter and the next on in 'Long Gone Blues' that I've made a little... not mistake, but sort of copied myself, I'm not gonna go into that much more at this time but I'll comment on it in the next chapter. I'm sure you'll notice what I mean._


	11. I Cast My Net Into The Sea

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I know I haven't replied to all reviews and I'm getting around to it. It's been a rough couple of days for me, including being sick. Really sick. But I'll start as soon as this is up._

_But thank you so much for all your support, it really means a lot to me and I hope you'll like this chapter as well._

_Big, huge thank you to all of the freak circle for you support, both in my writing and my personal life. You girls really rock and I'm so glad I've found you all!_

* * *

**11. I Cast My Net Into The Sea**

_In the morning I cast my net into the sea._

_I dragged up from the dark abyss things of strange aspect and strange beauty - some shone like a smile, some glistened like tears, and some were flushed like the cheeks of a bride._

-o0o-

Catherine had managed to convince Matt that she was fully capable of driving to Charming by herself. The reason she insisted was that she wanted to have her car there, she didn't want to be at his mercy if she wanted to go somewhere. When she was halfway there Matt called and told her to go directly to the clubhouse so she did. The first person she met was Tig.

"Hey, baby!" He gave her a hug. "Did you get me a Christmas present?"

"Yup." He had been the easiest one to figure out. "You'll love it."

"Picture of you in a g-string?"

"Nope. A pair of shoes I was going to throw away."

"Aww, baby. I'm so hard right now." He put an arm around her shoulder. "So... we've been trying to press Chibs but he's not giving anything up."

"What does that mean?"

"He claims he was a damn choir boy and didn't get any. I think he's just trying to avoid getting shot by your brother."

"Honestly, I don't remember. But I was wearing my panties when I woke up."

She laughed when Tig tried to protest and half ran inside the clubhouse.

"Lassie!" She heard the, now very familiar, Scottish accent.

"Did you... did you just give me a dog's name?"

He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. "Told you; Lass, short for girl."

"Okay, stop fondling my sister," Matt said and pushed Chibs out of the way. "Missed you, sis." He gave her a long hug.

That night they hung out at the clubhouse. It was a pretty calm night, some of the croweaters, Tig, Chibs and Bobby were the only ones there. She was on the couch, leaning against Matt, and spent the better part of the night laughing so hard that she had tears in her eyes.

"Tell me about more customers," Tig said and this time Matt didn't yell at him.

"I'm guessing you want the weird ones, not the plain lap dances?"

"Do you ever let them touch you?" Bobby asked.

"It happens. Depends on how they want to touch me."

"How do you let them touch you?" Matt said and eyed her.

"Well, one of my regulars paints my toenails."

"Hang on, he paints your toenails and he pays for it?" Tig stared at her again.

"A lot. He's fucking touching me so he better fucking pay up for that. Besides, I always have to take it off, he's not very good at it." He was horrible, totally messed up her pedicure so he had to pay up for that too. "And he picks weird colors."

"Out of curiosity. If a guy doesn't pay up?" Tig asked. Catherine laughed at his eager expression.

"I call the guards, they take the money he owes me and throw him out."

"And they just take your word for it?"

"Yes. Always."

"Couldn't you just say he owes you shitloads and then have him kicked out?"

"I could, for a while, but they're not stupid, the bouncers I mean. Not like I can call on them twice a night."

"Does it ever bother you, working as a stripper?" Trudy asked. Along with Natalie, Trudy was quickly becoming her favorite club girl. She did wonder why they were really hanging out there, but it wasn't her business so she hadn't asked.

"Yeah. Sometimes I get really mean customers and some nights I'm just off and fucking hate it."

"Mean customers?" Jax asked.

"Yeah. The ones that tell me I'm the ugliest fucking bitch they've ever seen. That they'd have to be blind to get a hard on around me."

Chibs stared at her. "Yer shitting me? Is that what the call about yer tits was about? Why would they do that?"

"Some do it just to be mean and others because it turns them on to be mean. I guess." She shrugged. "Usually they're drunk. One really mean bastard passed out, so I sat down, ordered champagne and then charged him for the time he spent passed out. I also made sure that all the girls ordered drinks on his tab." They all stared at her. "But he was really fucking mean."

Matt finally laughed and hugged her tighter. "Good girl."

She got up and pointed towards the bathroom. "Need to use the ladies room. And I need my bag, I want a hoodie." She looked at Matt for the last part.

"It's in my room," he said and tossed her the key. "Help yourself."

"Thanks."

She went to his room first since she was getting cold. As always, the thing she was looking for was at the bottom of the fucking bag. She pulled it out, pushed all the other stuff back into the bag and put it on. When she got out of the room she locked the door. She heard someone coming towards her, it was Chibs.

"Hey," she said with a smile. "Giving up already?"

"Aye, I'm knackered," he said with a smile. "Give us a kiss goodnight."

With a smile she got up on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight."

He turned the other cheek towards her, "And now this."

Catherine laughed, but once again got up on her toes and kissed his other cheek, the right side, the kiss landed on his scar. He faced forward again with a small smile on his lips. He lifted his hand and tapped them with his fingertip.

"Now 'ere."

It didn't take her a split second to decide and with a smile she planted her lips on his and closed her eyes. They were soft and his mustache tickled her upper lip a little. When she leaned back and opened her eyes again, he was looking at her; just for a few, short moments, before he cupped her face and kissed her again. As he tilted his head to the side she felt his tongue on her lips and opened her mouth with a sigh.

This was the first time he'd even hinted at being anything more than her temporary guard when Matt was occupied. The first time he'd touched her in anything but a brotherly way. At least she had never interpreted his touch in any other way. Even more surprising was how much she liked it and what it did to her entire body. When his mouth left hers she took a deep breath. He rested his forehead towards hers and chuckled a little.

"Now that's what I call a proper goodnight kiss." She opened her eyes again and he gave her a final peck on her lips. "See ya tomorrow, lass."

"Yeah," she said in an exhale when he let go of her and took a step back. "See you tomorrow."

He disappeared down the hall and Catherine slunk into the bathroom on her way back. Leaning her hands on the sink she looked into the mirror. She was bright red, she tried to cool down her face by splashing it with water.

She was still utterly confused when she came back out to the bar. Sitting down next to Matt, he put his arm around her.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine," she answered and gave him a smile. "Where are we going tomorrow?"

"Clay's house. Gemma wanted you to get there early to help with the food."

"I'll give her a call in the morning to see when she wants me there."

The rest of the night passed in a haze. It wasn't so much the drink she'd had as the thoughts of Chibs. Matt gave her a room of her own this time. She was relieved, she needed some space and time to herself.

-o0o-

"Can you make decent pastry?" Gemma said when she opened the door.

"Merry Christmas to you too," she answered with a laugh.

Gemma didn't even seem to register what Catherine was saying. "For the pies, dessert pies."

"Yes I can," she handed over the groceries Gemma had asked her to buy on her way.

"Where's Pinch?"

"Think he's still in bed."

When she came into the kitchen she halted. It looked like a bomb had detonated. Gemma pushed her in the back.

"I'll get started on the cleaning, you do pie, Luann's on the mashed potatoes." She pointed at a blond woman who smiled at Catherine.

"So you're Pinch's sister? Catherine, The little computer genius."

Catherine went up to her and extended her hand. "Catherine's enough."

"Luann, I'm Otto's Old Lady."

"Otto?"

"He's inside, darlin'," Gemma said and started to throw things into the dishwasher. "You haven't met him."

"Oh. Are there a lot of member inside?"

"Three Charming members at the moment, Otto, Lenny and Opie."

She'd heard of Opie, Jax had talked about him a couple of times. Catherine walked over to the fridge and started to look for the things she needed to make the pies.

"Gemma told me you're a stripper," Luann said.

She glanced over her carefully, trying to figure out if there was a judging tone in her voice.

"Yeah..."

"Oh, no judging from me hon'," Luann said and smiled. "I'm a porn producer. Used to be a porn actress."

Catherine was stunned for a few seconds and then she laughed. "Okay. Yes, I'm a stripper."

"Why not something in computers?" Luann asked curiously. "Considering that brain you seem to have. At least if you're listening to Gemma over there. If you wanna come and have a look at my computers, I'd be more than happy."

"I'm just stripping to be able to pay for university. So I'm planning on using my brain as a living in the future."

"Well, hon'," Luann said with a smile. "With that tight body you're doing the right thing. making a profit out of it while it's in that shape."

Catherine and Gemma both laughed.

"Thank you. It has come in handy."

"Hey, mom," Jax said as he walked inside and gave Gemma a kiss. "Hey," he said with a nod to Catherine and Luann. "Wendy called. I gotta go there and see what the fuck she was going on about."

"Why?" Gemma sounded pissed.

"I'll be back for dinner. Just wanna make sure she's not completely strung out."

"Fine! But you're not bringing her here."

"I'm not. I'll be back soon."

When he left the kitchen, Gemma was standing with her hands on her hips, staring after him. "That fucking bitch!"

"Girlfriend?" Catherine asked.

"Wife," Gemma muttered. "Hopefully she'll soon be an ex wife."

If it hadn't been for the 'strung out' comment Jax had said, she would've assumed that this was a typical case of 'no girl is good enough for my son'. Gemma sure seemed the kind of mother who'd be of that opinion no matter who Jax brought home.

Three hours later they were all seated around the table. She did her best to try to avoid looking at Chibs who was sitting at the other side of the table, but pretty far down from her. It was really nice, it felt like a real family thing and she hadn't had that in quite some time. If ever. The Christmases with just her and Matt had been nice, but not like this.

She looked around the table and met Chibs' brown eyes. She felt herself blush and quickly looked away, hoping that no one noticed.

"Sis! Help me here!" Matt said and bumped her in the side. "This moron claims that warm liquid freezes faster than cold. He's done some 'experiments'." He was pointing at Bobby.

She cleared her throat and once again hoped that she wasn't bright red. "He's right. It does."

"Told ya!" Bobby said and hit Juice in the arm.

"How's that?" Chibs asked and she automatically looked at him.

"The water molecules in warm liquid have enough energy to leave as steam, and that way leaks the heat from it faster. So even if it's warmer, the heat leaves faster than from cold water, so it freezes more quickly."

She realized she was still looking at Chibs and turned to look at the rest of them. Gemma's smile made her very uneasy and she looked down at her plate.

"See!" Bobby said. "Told you I wasn't imagining shit. And you blamed the pot."

Catherine didn't listen to the rest of the discussion, she was trying to figure out how to avoid Gemma for the rest of the night. She couldn't. When they were cleaning up in the kitchen, Gemma leaned against the counter next to her.

"So what's with the blushing?"

"What blushing?" she said and looked deeper into the sink.

"_That_ blushing, hon'." Gemma leaned closer. "Want some scotch?"

Catherine was sure she was turning purple at the moment. Gemma chuckled and left the kitchen.

To get a few minutes to gather herself she went to the bathroom. Once again leaning her hands on the sink, she took some deep breaths.

Once she felt in control of herself and her cursed cheeks she ran her fingers through the hair and opened the door. Continuing the shit luck she'd had so far, Chibs was standing on the other side of the door.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hi." She didn't even know where to look and finally landed on his eyes.

They weren't meeting hers though. They were fixated on her mouth. His mouth opened and he was just about to say something when they were interrupted by Tig.

"Kids! Presents!"

She walked past Chibs and Tig put his arm around her.

"Were you serious about the shoes? I've made all sort of plans for them."

Catherine really hoped she wouldn't have to apologise to Sally again. "You'll get shoes, Tig."

"Did you get presents for all of them?"

"Yes, but you're the only one getting something I've been wearing."

"Ah, Baby! You know how to make a man happy."

"It's my job," she said and snuck out from underneath his arm to go and sit next to Matt. He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "Did you get me something?"

"A new thong," he said and she laughed. At least he was able to joke about her job these days. "Don't worry, it's a very proper thing and you'll love it."

She was surprised that she got presents from all of them and when she started to open them, it was nice stuff. Some were books she'd like to read, she suspected that Matt had helped with those. Some stuff for baking, obviously from Bobby and finally she started on Matt's present.

It was quite big. Once the paper was gone there was a brown wooden box. When she took it out she was confused for a few seconds. It looked like a mini dresser, she looked at Matt.

"Pull out a drawer, Legs," he said with a big smile.

When she did, she took a deep breath. It was a mahjong game. She'd had one as a kid, Matt had bought that one for her too, but their dad had sold it since it was pretty valuable. This one looked even more valuable. She drew her hand over the tiles.

"It's bone and jade, I think. It's western though so it's got the numbers on it. So I can play with you," he added with a smile. He always had problems with the characters and what number they represented. The wheels and the bamboos were easy, but he'd messed up the suits in characters more than once.

She looked at him and blinked away the tears. "It's amazing, so beautiful."

"What is it?" Gemma asked. "A jewelry box?

"No," she shook her head. "It's a mahjong set." She turned it around so Gemma could see.

"I've never understood what that is." She came closer and picked up a tile, "But it's beautiful."

"It's kind of like cards, different sets just like in a card game, but just three kinds and some extra ones. The rules are similar to rummy."

"Oh," Gemma pulled out another drawer. "Sounds fun. How many can play?"

"Four."

"Complicated?"

"No, kind of like chess, fifteen minutes to learn and a lifetime to master."

Gemma picked up one of the tiles. "These are so beautiful."

She turned and looked at Matt and he nodded.

"Get us one more player and we can try."

She should've known better. Gemma immediately turned to Chibs. "Hey! Wanna play with me and Cat?"

"Sure," he said and picked up the scotch she'd bought him as a present. "I've got our refreshments."

Forty minutes later Chibs yelled "Chow!"

"No, Chibs. You can only Chow if it's me throwing the piece. When it's Matt you say 'Poong'.

"Poong, then."

She gave him a smile. "No way, I'm calling Poong on that one," she said and took the tile from the table.

It had been years since she played mahjong and she'd forgotten how much fun it was. She still loved the sound when the tiles were mixed on the table. That was almost the best part of it, the clicking sound when you moved them around and tried to match them up in front of you.

A joint was passed around between them. Tig was on the couch next to Juice, teasing him with her shoes. Luann and Bobby were watching them play. It was a real calm Christmas so far. She'd expected a proper party, but this was just a calm family thing.

"So could you play poker with that?" Juice asked from the couch.

"In theory, I guess, but there's just three different suites. And you'd have to change the rules. There's four of every suit and number."

"So like four seven of hearts, or whatever the fuck they're called?"

"Yes."

"Poong!" Chibs yelled again and Cat laughed.

"Sorry, but no. I'm Poonging that one too."

"What the fuck!" he said and pinched her side. "Are you collecting the same shite as I am?"

"Looks like it."

" 'ere." He poured her a drink. "Have some of this, give me a chance."

"Are you planning on getting me drunk so I'll miss my tiles?"

"Yup." He gave her a big smile. "Stoned and drunk."

They played two sets and then they were all getting too drunk to continue. Matt helped her put the thing away, he kept eyeing her but didn't say anything. Gemma disappeared for a few seconds and came out carrying dessert pies.

"There's still pie left and I need you all to eat it," She pointed at Catherine. "I saw how much fucking butter you put in those things and unless you want me to chase after your skinny ass to get rid of mine, you better fucking eat some of it."

They all forced some pie down their throats and then Gemma told them to get the hell out because she was tired. Catherine stayed behind along with Luann and helped with the last clean up.

Luann offered her a ride back to Matt's place but on her way to the car, Catherine's phone rang.

"_We're at the clubhouse,_" Matt said when she answered.

Catherine hesitated for a while but at the same time she wanted to go.

"_Hallo! Baby, you still there?"_

"Yeah, sorry. I'm on my way."

"_Good."_

She walked inside and was a bit surprised to see that quite a few of the girls were there, but the family duties of Christmas were probably done. Jax smiled when she walked inside and caught her in a hug.

"Now the real celebration starts, Hon'."

"It did seem a bit cosy at your mom's house," she laughed. "Let's just hope Matt won't spend the night covering my eyes."


	12. Moment's Indulgence

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_A/N at the end. And so you know where we are in the story, a catch up of the __**end of the previous chapter:**_

* * *

Luann offered her a ride back to Matt's place but on her way to the car, Catherine's phone rang.

"_We're at the clubhouse,_" Matt said when she answered.

Catherine hesitated for a while but at the same time she wanted to go.

"_Hallo! Baby, you still there?"_

"Yeah, sorry. I'm on my way."

"_Good."_

She walked inside and was a bit surprised to see that quite a few of the girls were there, but the family duties of Christmas were probably done. Jax smiled when she walked inside and caught her in a hug.

"Now the real celebration starts, Hon'."

"It did seem a bit cosy at your mom's house," she laughed. "Let's just hope Matt won't spend the night covering my eyes."

* * *

**12. Moment's Indulgence**

_I ask for a moment's indulgence to sit by thy side. The works_  
_that I have in hand I will finish afterwards._

_Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite,_  
_and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil._

-o0o-

Jax took her arm, "Nah, just family here tonight, they all know you so he knows you'll be safe." He pushed her towards the bar. "What are you drinking?"

"Beer," she said to the guy behind the bar. She recognized him and he gave her a smile along with the beer before turning moving on to the next order.

It might just be family, but they weren't shy around each other; she noticed Bobby fondling a girl and Tig was getting busy too. When Trudy waved at her from one of the tables and she walked over there.

"Merry Christmas," she said as she sat down.

"Merry Christmas," Trudy smiled and held up her glass for a toast.

"Didn't think any of you girls would be here."

"I was done with the family things and this is as good a place as any. A really good place if you want to party."

Piney came and sat down as well. "How's the little sister?"

"Fine, just keep that tequila from me."

He laughed and took a sip from his glass. "More for me, but I got a straw for you if you want it."

"I'll pass tonight," she smiled. "Thank you for your gift. I liked it." Piney had given her the book 'In Search of Schrödinger's Cat'.

Piney laughed. "Thank your brother, he's the one who picked it."

"I had a feeling he did."

Trudy looked at her. "Who's Scrhrödinger and why the fuck are they searching for his cat?"

"It's a famous thought experiment in Quantum physics. About a cat being both alive and dead at the same time."

"That doesn't make sense," Piney said and took another sip. "It's either dead or alive."

"It's kind of the point, that it contradicts common sense. Einstein referred to it as spooky. Basically; at a microscopic level, the world doesn't behave in a way that we would consider normal." She smiled at Piney. "It's even said that those who are not shocked when they first come across Quantum physics cannot possibly have understood it."

"And that's what you study?"

"Some of it."

Piney shook his head. "Don't get it. I mean, if Einstein had been smart, he would've destroyed that fucking paper so no one could make that kind of weapon."

"The atom bomb wasn't created by him and the formula. The entire paper's on relativity, it's so much more than that. It was more a bi product of it."

"Still, it wasn't worth it."

It wasn't the first time Catherine'd had this discussion and she had never been able to convince a man of the opinion that it wasn't as easy as Einstein destroying his work to avoid the bomb. That it was just a part of the discovery of that kind of force. He had a theory about the relationship between mass and energy and that was what the formula explained. How much energy it was possible to get from an amount of mass, but that was hard to explain. Even harder to explain was what relativity had done to human kind and the understanding it gave of other things such as how the universe worked. She knew she sounded like a crazy religious person if she started to talk about it, so she dropped it.

Thankfully, so did Piney and not long after he smiled and made sure she got another beer. Trudy soon got up and walked over to Jax.

She kept talking to Piney and had an honest try at explaining Schrödinger's cat, but he just laughed and shook his head at her. Said she was sure easily fooled for someone who was supposedly smart.

Matt came up to her and gave her cheek a kiss, "I'm going to my room."

"Not ready to get a blow job in front of me yet?"

"No," he said with a smile. "Behave, Legs."

Tig was on a couch nearby. "Baby, have to say; Legs is such a good nickname for you. Almost as good as Tits would be."

"You'll never let that go, will you?"

Tig held up one of the shoes she'd given him. "I'll drop it if you put one on."

"Can't you just put it on one of the other girls? Won't look good on me anyway, my toes fall over the edge on them."

Tig turned and looked at Sally sitting in his lap. She immediately took off her own shoes.

"Like a glove," Catherine commented when the shoes fit Sally perfectly. "They glow in the dark."

"Nah," Tig said with big eyes. "I love you!"

Matt shook his head, put his arm around Natalie and walked towards the rooms. When Tig's hand disappeared up Sally's skirt, Catherine decided it was a good time to go and check out other areas of the room.

She halted in front of the wall with all the pictures. She'd obviously noticed them before, but had never looked. Her brother was among them. He hadn't told her he'd been arrested and she made a mental note to ask for what and if he'd done time. If it had been for just a few months, she probably wouldn't have noticed.

"Hey, girl," Chibs said when he came up to stand next to her. "What ya lookin' at?"

Catherine shrugged. "No one special. Who's Luann's husband?" Chibs pointed at a picture. "And Opie? Was that his name?"

"Aye," Chibs said and pointed at another picture. It looked like a young boy. "Why ya askin'`?"

"Luann and Gemma talked about the people from this club who were inside, just wanted to know what they looked like. There was a third too."

"Aye, Lenny the Pimp." He pointed at a third picture.

"Lenny the Pimp?" she asked with a laugh. "Really?"

"We're all about the nicknames, love."

"What's your real name?" She'd just realized that she didn't know it.

"Filip." He was studying her now, closely, and she couldn't help but smile at him. "Where's Pinch?"

"In his room. He took off with Natalie, guess he didn't want me to watch him have fun."

Chibs nodded slowly, moved even closer, and she realized that she was holding her breath.

"Hey, Legs!" Sally yelled. "How the fuck do you dance in these shoes?"

She was half stumbling around on the platforms, giggling.

"I usually try to stay sober," Catherine said and left Chibs, thankful for the interruption since they were heading towards something and she needed to get her shit straight. At the same time she was slightly annoyed about the interruption. "Heel first and slowly."

Sally smiled when she came up to her, "Can't believe you can dance in these, can you show me?"

"That's just low, Tiggy." Catherine looked at Tig with a raised eyebrow. "Getting Sally to do your dirty work."

"Didn't say anything," he said and raised his hands. "She's just a naturally curious girl."

"I'm going to bed before this goes south," she said and leaned over to kiss Tig's cheek. "And I'm sure any of these girls would love to dance for you."

"Oh, Mustang here'll do anything I want her to do in those shoes," he said with half a laugh. "Good night, Legs."

On her way towards the rooms she said goodnight to most of them, Trudy gave her a goodnight hug. When she turned the corner to the rooms she saw Chibs, leaning against her door with his arms crossed. He looked up when she came closer.

"We have rules about these rooms ya know."

"I didn't know that." But she remembered a comment someone'd made about Clay bending the rules for her.

"Clay bent them since it was a bit disturbing to have you and yer bruther in the same bed."

"So what are the rules?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she couldn't help asking, simply since she knew he wanted her to ask.

Chibs pushed back from the door and came up to her, once again very close. "Bitches only stay over night in rooms in a bruther's bed. With a bruther."

"Really?" She kept smiling when he put his hand on her hip, leaning closer. "So what are you saying?"

Instead of answering he put his other hand on her cheek and then his lips were on hers again. It was as good as she remembered and with a small sigh she opened up her mouth to let him slip his tongue inside it. He moved close enough for his entire body to press against hers. The hand on her hip moved around her waist, pulling her even closer.

With a moan she circled his waist and closed her eyes. His hand slid down from her back to grab her ass and it was his turn to groan.

"My room," he said and started walking, still kissing her.

This was probably her chance to pull out but she didn't want to. "Wouldn't want to break the rules," she mumbled instead and backed up, following his lead.

He held her against the door while unlocking it. Once it was open he pulled her inside, closed it and pushed her back up against it. He ran his eyes over her body before moving closer to her again and kissing her.

They stood there, just kissing; but when his hand moved up to cup her breast and he stroked his thumb over her nipple, she decided she'd had enough of the making out. Her hands found their way underneath his shirt and she scratched his sides before going for the buttons of his jeans.

He groaned and squeezed her breast harder, pressing his mouth against hers, but then he moved back and took her hands from his jeans with a smile.

"Off with the tee, Love." Catherine pulled her t-shirt over her head and then looked at him with a smile. "Now the bra." Unhooking it at the back, she let it slide down her arms before she threw it to the side and looked at him. He was smiling, big. "There they are."

"Missed 'em?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Aye." He looked up into her eyes. "Kinda hoped ya'd need another check up."

"Would've worn a bra for that," she said and grabbed his cut to bring him closer. "Are you gonna stand there and just look at them?"

"Oh, I'm gonna do a lot more than look at 'em."

He pulled her from the door and turned them both around, kissing her while he walked her towards the bed. He left his cut on a chair along the way and she helped him off with his t-shirt.

His hands went down to her jeans and she kicked off her shoes at the same time before undoing the last buttons on his jeans. He slid her jeans over her hips before pushing her down on the bed on her back and pulling them off completely. Then he laid down on top of her, between her legs pressing himself against the junction of her legs and she moaned out loud.

"Get 'em off," she said and once again tried to get him out of his jeans. He laughed, but got up and took them off.

She couldn't take her eyes off his crotch, it looked like he was about as ready as she was, before he laid back down. When his hand went down her panties she closed her eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. That thought went out the window the second his mouth closed over her nipple. She couldn't fucking believe how good it all felt. Her entire insides were tense and she felt like a spring loaded jack in the box, ready to pop at any fucking second.

The fingers that found their way inside her were rough, but still so good and she moved towards them, putting her legs around his hips and her arms on his shoulders, trying to get him closer to her. His mouth moved from one breast to the other and when he bit down, before flicking his tongue over her nipple, she half screamed.

"Oh, fuck! Please, Chibs!"

"Okay," he said and got up on his knees between her legs, moving her up so she was on the pillow.

He reached for the nightstand and took a condom out and Catherine sat up to take off his boxers. Once they were off she grabbed his dick, carefully stroking while looking at his face. His eyes were closed and mouth slightly open and a small smile graced it. She kept looking at his face and when she carefully cupped his balls with her other hand he looked down at her, a few seconds later he took her hand away.

"Get yer panties off."

Getting down on her back she did as he asked and once again he halted and just stared at her.

"Fuckin' hell, Lass. Ye're beautiful."

After getting the condom on he leaned over her again, kissing her, his fingers back inside her. She groaned in protest, she didn't want his fingers anymore.

"Please!"

Finally, she felt him position himself, she opened her eyes and to her surprise he was looking straight at her. She cupped her hands on his cheeks and drew her thumbs along his scars.

"Please," she said again and with a nod, he pushed.

Once he was fully sheathed he stopped for a few seconds and lay down, resting on her, carefully, kissing her, before finally rolling his hips. She opened her mouth even wider, moaning and meeting his thrusts. It had been some time since she'd gotten laid, but that wasn't all. Chibs was more than a little experienced; his hand on her thigh and the other on her breast with his thumb rolling around her nipple was pushing her closer to the edge at an alarming speed. The steady pace of his thrusts and his tongue exploring her mouth made her dizzy.

When small sounds started to emerge from his throat, he drew back, put his arm around her neck and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Jesus, Cat," he mumbled before kissing his way down the side of her face, down her throat and finally resting his head towards the side of her neck.

She moved her hands along his back and grabbed his behind, pushing towards him harder, she felt herself coming closer.

"God! Chibs, don't stop."

"I won't," he mumbled against her neck and when her insides clasped around him he groaned, moved up and grabbed her hands, pinning them over her head. His eyes met hers, "Wrap yer legs around me, love."

Catherine lifted her legs and put them around his hips and that was it, the orgasm hit her. His groans got louder as well and she felt his thrusts getting harder and faster. He grabbed her ass, slamming into her hard a couple of times before falling down on her, breathing heavily into her neck.

They laid still for a few minutes, before he moved up to his elbows and looked at her. He smiled and gave her a kiss before rolling down next to her. They were still silent and after pulling off the condom he put his arm around her.

Catherine moved over to her side and looked up at him. He was still smiling and kissed her forehead.

"Merry Christmas, Lassie."

She laughed, "Merry Christmas."

He hugged her tighter and pushed one leg between hers. She was tired, slightly drunk and very relaxed.

-o0o-

Catherine woke up when a hand rand down her side. She felt Chibs behind her and when he moved closer, his unmistakeable morning boner rested against her ass. If she was honest with herself, she had half expected to wake up in an empty bed. Whatever she'd thought would happen, this was pretty far down the list. She didn't have any objections though so she pushed her behind back and giggled when he groaned.

"Mornin'," she mumbled, but when she tried to turn around he held her still and kissed her shoulder and neck.

"Mornin'" he finally said as his hand went further down her belly and in between her legs.

He kept teasing her until he finally, after taking a condom from the nightstand, hooked her leg over his hip and slid inside her from behind.

When both of them were getting closer he rolled her over onto her stomach and finished that way, she had no complaints whatsoever. He once again rested on her, taking deep breaths and nibbled her ear. Bringing her with him, he rolled them over onto their sides and they laid like that for a while.

"I need to sneak out of here," she finally said.

"Why?"

"You don't think it's better if Matt doesn't know about this?"

Chibs laughed, "He'll find out sooner or later. Not like I'm done with ya yet." She froze and he noticed. "Why, ya done with me?" He leaned closer and nibbled her ear. "Least ya could wait to tell me 'til I get me dick outta ya."

She laughed and turned around. "Okay, not done with you but I'd like to wait a while to tell him. Or at least avoid him finding out by finding me in your bed."

"Then sneak out," he said and gave her a kiss. "Sneak back later."

"Okay," she got out of the bed. "What time is it?"

While getting rid of the condom he looked at his watch. "Quarter to eleven."

"Shit!" She found her panties and jeans and put them on. Her top was still by the door, under her bra. She went for it pulled it over her head, looked for her shoes and that's when the door flew open.

"Chibs!" Obviously, it was Matt. He stared at Catherine. Or more like, they stared at each other and she racked her brain for a good explanation that didn't include multiple orgasms.

She cleared her throat. "What are the chances I can convince you I just came in here?"

Matt smiled and leaned his shoulder against the door frame with his arms crossed, looking around the room.

"So you... came in here, snuck out of your bra and left in on the floor there," he pointed at her bra, "before seriously ruffling your hair and taking off your shoes, over there?"

Chibs laughed behind her.

"Not gonna be able to make that fly, am I?" she said.

"Not with a fucking jet engine, Legs." Matt shook his head, but at least he was still smiling. "Breakfast's in the bar. Gemma came with the left overs."

"Any pie?" Chibs said. When she turned around he was getting out of the bed, she felt herself blush and turned back to Matt.

"Bit late to blush now," he said with a laugh. That made her blush even worse.

"Get into your room and take a shower before you self-ignite there." Matt kissed her cheek when she passed him. She turned around and looked at Chibs who was pulling up his jeans, then up at Matt. "Are we okay?"

"_We_ are. I'm gonna rip Chibs a new asshole though."

She turned and looked at Chibs who was smiling, "Don't worry, Lass. I'll make sure he leaves my dick for ya."

"Okay," Catherine said and looked back a Matt and took a deep breath. He gave her another kiss.

"He'll be mostly functional."

She nodded and went to her room. It didn't seem like either one of them wanted her in there anyway and she needed that shower.

* * *

_On occasion life has a tendency to treat you a little worse than usually and that has been the case for me lately. It has really messed with my writing mood and I hope you'll be patient with me and my less frequent updates for a while. About two months ago, my grandfather on my mothers side passed away. _

_The next blow came last week when my other grandfather died. I was very, very close to him. At times he lived with us and he was the one who taught me how to play poker when I was around five years old. He also taught me how to bluff, cheat and hustle. _

_One of my fondest memories from when I was a child was when I was seven or eight. He was playing poker with some guys and gave me his chair with a nod. When I won the second hand in a row, by bluffing like hell, he laughed his ass off. In the guys defense; they probably didn't think I knew what I was doing at all. He loved hearing about me playing, even if it was 'that pussy poker' (Texas Hold-em, he didn't like that)._

_I don't think he ever told me he loved me or hardly gave me a hug, it just wasn't his style, but it didn't matter at all. The main reason I loved being around him is that he never talked to me as if I was a child and he wouldn't dream of 'letting' me win, ever, no matter what game we played. Being with him, and I spent a lot of time with him, was just hanging out and doing whatever we felt like. And we quite often felt like playing cards, usually poker, while he told me stories. Usually about poker. I knew what a 'dead man's hand' was before I lost my first tooth._

_As always; thank you so much for alerts, favs and reviews. And a big thank you to the girls in the Freak Circle who truly have been a great support._


	13. Last Night In The Garden

___Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_First off I want to thank you for your kind words and your support. I am truly blessed with some of the nicest readers. At the moment, this story is going pretty okay, so here's another chapter. I just wanted to warn you that I'm taking this as it comes and I'm not stressing myself about writing at the moment. Not that much at least. _:-)

_Thank you again and I'm sorry that I put a damper on the chapter when there were finally some lemons, but rest assure, there are more lemons coming up. Oh, there's a short A/N at the end as well, nothing bad this time, I promise._

* * *

**13. Last Night In The Garden**

_Last night in the garden I offered you my youth's foaming wine. You**  
**lifted the cup to your lips, you shut your eyes and smiled while**  
**I raised your veil, unbound your tresses, drawing down upon my**  
**breast your face sweet with its silence, last night when the moon's**  
**dream overflowed the world of slumber._

-o0o-

Catherine tried to take her time in the shower, a long time, but eventually she had to go outside and they were all there. Every last one of them.

"Are you here for New Years?" Juice asked with a smile and this time Matt didn't touch him. He simply grinned like a moron.

"Yeah. I'm leaving on the Second."

She avoided looking at both Matt and Chibs. Instead she kept her eyes on her plate. Piney came and sat down next to her.

"Hey, girl. You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said and smiled at him when he handed her a cup. "I think it's the lack of Tequila yesterday."

"Yeah," he laughed. "It might be. Hey, about what I said, I hope I didn't... I don't know."

She stared at him, she had no idea what he was talking about and what he thought he had said that might... whatever it was he was trying to say.

"About what?"

"Einstein. What I said about him." He looked at her. "Think you could explain that formula and maybe change an old dogs mind?"

"As I've stated; she's smart, not a miracle worker," Matt interrupted.

"Actually, it's not all that complicated." She noticed them all turn to stare at her. "The formula I mean, the effects of it are another thing, but I think I can explain the formula to you."

"Really?" Gemma looked skeptical. "Shoot."

"Sure. Not sure I can change an old man's mind though." Piney smiled at her and she tried to figure out how to best do this. "Basically, its a formula that says a certain amount of mass corresponds to a certain amount of energy. So E, is energy and M is mass. What the formula says is that a certain amount of mass at rest contains energy. To find out how much; you take mass and multiply it by C in square, C being the speed of light." She was drawing the formula on a napkin while she talked. E=MC2. "And you find out how much energy."

Juice looked at it. "How fast is the speed of light?"

"Well, the speed of _sound_ is Mach 1. I'm sure you've heard about that, when you talk about jets." She looked around the table and a lot of the guys nodded. That's what she had hoped for, it was always hard to make people understand exactly how fast light was. "Mach 1 is 1,116 feet per second. The speed of light is Mach 900,000. So it's that in square. In square means multiplied by itself, so Mach 900,000 times by Mach 900,000."

Juice looked at the formula written on the napkin, "That's a lot of fucking energy."

"Yes. So when you release that energy, you get one hell of a blast."

"So that's how an atom bomb works?" Tig asked.

"No. That's _why_ it works. If you take an unstable mass, like plutonium, and release that energy, you get a big blast."

"Why the speed of light?" Piney asked.

"Think of it like money, if you have the price in pounds sterling and want it in dollars; you take pounds sterling times an amount, the conversion factor, and you have it in dollars. C, the speed of light, is the conversion factor in this formula."

There was so much more to that theory and why the speed of light was the conversion factor. There was no point in confusing people with too much information. She hated doing it though, it was hard to appreciate the brilliance in the formula without all the details, but she doubted they'd see the brilliance no matter how many details they got.

"Ohh," Piney finally said and looked at the formula.

"So what Einstein did was to show that mass is just another form of energy and that it can be converted from one form to another." She looked up at Matt and he was smiling. "Not sure how much you understood, but that's what E=MC2 means."

"And that's all he did?" Piney asked.

"No, not at all. Not even a small part of it. It's a lot more, about spacetime and how that reacts to matter and energy. That gravity reacts to the bent spacetime. And that all forms of energy produce gravity, including gravity itself and it feeds on itself. So if you pack enough energy into a small space, it goes crazy and produces a black hole." She looked around the table.

"You lost us there, sis."

"Sorry, I just find it fascinating." She looked at Piney. "He warned the American President about it, that someone could be trying to make a weapon out of his findings; but the atom bomb really just is a bi product and a sad way to use what he found out."

Juice was still looking at the napkin. "Cool." When Piney cleared his throat he looked up. "Not the bomb, but that I get what it means now. The formula."

"This is why I play Mahjong with her instead of talking about physics," Matt said. "She always gets all eager and leaves me behind in her reasoning."

"I really liked Mahjong," Gemma said and when she looked at her, the smile was grim. "I'm sure Chibs would love to play with you again too."

Matt almost spurted the coffee over the table and coughed to hide his laugh. Gemma didn't stop though.

"Wouldn't you, Chibs?"

"I'm up for a game whenever she is."

That did it, Matt laughed out loud and Catherine knew she was bright red. She should've known Gemma would pick up on everything.

"What am I missing?" Tig said and looked between Matt, Chibs, Gemma and Catherine. "Noooo! You didn't!" he laughed. "You dirty, dirty girl. It's the accent, isn't it?"

She wished she could just beam herself away. "Well, you gave me a book and he gave me snowflake necklace."

"Actually, love," Chibs said with a smile. "It's Scottish thistles in a circle."

"Yeah," she said and pointed at him and nodded towards Tig. "He gave me that."

"The accent?" Tig said again.

"Yeah. Probably," she nodded. "I like when I don't understand what men are saying. Makes them sound smart."

"Ouch," Bobby said and laughed.

"She's right," Gemma said. "Got nothing to do with how you say it. When we don't understand we take it as a compliment."

"I'll keep that in mind." Clay gave her a kiss.

She looked at Chibs over the table, he was smiling and gave her a wink. "Nach i tha teth an-diugh."

"You even lost me on that one," Tig said. "Was that even English?"

"Nope," he said and got up.

Once Chibs was gone they all turned towards her with big smiles and she wasn't sure how the hell she'd be able to dodge the questions. Judging from what they looked like, it was impossible, so she decided that she had no problems with just running.

"Soo?" Bobby finally said. "Wanna fess up?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," she answered and got up. "Now I'm gonna go and sort the Mahjong tiles."

"Bore," Jax laughed and threw a napkin at her. "He'll tell us anyway."

"Then ask him." She half ran away from their protests.

She went back to the room she'd been borrowing for the night and tried to pack up her things. It didn't take long for Matt to come inside.

"Hey, sis."

"Hi." She looked at him cautiously. "Are we really okay?"

It was the only thing that really mattered to her, that she and Matt were okay. She didn't want to ruin that for anything in the world, or anyone. Whatever had happened with Chibs, it wasn't anything she wouldn't put a stop to if it really did anger Matt.

"We're fine," he said and picked up one of her bags. He took another look at her. "Not like I didn't see it coming."

"You did?"

"A mile away," he smiled. "And he's not Tig. Or that moron prospect. He's a decent guy."

"Don't think you need to read too much into this either." She grabbed the last of her things and looked around the room to make sure it looked okay. "I'm still going back to LA after New Years."

"Oh yes, you are," he said. "Got us the van, so we can get this stuff back to my place."

Matt drove her to his place and helped carry her stuff inside to the guest room. He was actually quite often referring to it as 'your room' now and she liked to hear him say that. When she came back outside he was standing in the living room.

"How about renting a pile of movies and eating fast food the rest of the day?" he asked while he looked at his phone.

"I like that idea."

And that's what they did. Matt rented a pile of movies, mostly action since he claimed it was the best option when you had a hangover and then they vegged out on the couch. At ten she was beat and went to bed. She didn't get to sleep long before she was woken up by her phone ringing.

"Catherine," she answered.

"_Are you avoiding me again, lass?"_ She could hear the laughter in his voice.

"No," she said and turned around onto her back. "I haven't been avoiding you."

"_Sure ya did, all day yesterday. Had to attack ya to get ya to look at me."_ Most definitely teasing her now. _"Already sleeping?"_

"Yeah, I was."

"_Then go back to sleep. I'll catch you tomorrow."_

She laughed, "Okay, I'll see if I can avoid you then too."

"_Not a chance. Night."_

"Night," she said and hung up.

That was another surprise. She hadn't purposely been avoiding him, she just didn't want to be in his face. In all honesty, she wasn't sure how to act and what he wanted. Her assumption that it was just a one night stand seemed to be dead wrong though. It took her some time to fall asleep again, but she eventually did.

-o0o-

When Catherine woke up the next morning, it was as usual from the doorbell. After waiting for Matt to get it she finally gave up and went to open the door.

"Mornin'." Chibs said with a big smile when she opened it. "Wanna get some breakfast?"

"Breakfast?"

"Thing you eat in the mornin'."

"I know what breakfast is."

"Good, then the question shouldn't be that hard to answer." He looked at her. "Hungry?

"Sure. Just need a shower first."

"I'll wait here," he said and sat down on the couch.

Catherine went into her room and took off her clothes. She wondered if he'd really let her shower alone, but decided it didn't matter. Not like he hadn't seen all of her anyway. But he did and when she came out to the living room fully dressed he was sitting next to Matt.

"I'm ready," she said and looked carefully at Matt. "Are you coming with us?"

"Don't think I'm invited."

"Yer not," Chibs said as he got up. "Had 'er all day yesterday, need to learn to share."

He took her hand and pulled her towards the door. Catherine turned and waved at Matt who smiled, so at least he seemed okay with it.

The second they were out the door and a few feet from Matt's door, Chibs pulled her closer and gave her a kiss.

"Told ya I'd catch you today."

"I'll just ignore the doorbell tomorrow then."

"Not staying 'ere tonight," he said with a big grin. "So I'm not worried."

"What's for breakfast?" Catherine needed a moment after that kiss and thankfully he took her hand as they walked to his bike.

"Whatever ya like."

"Pancakes." She took the helmet and he nodded as he started his bike. "Then what?"

She got up behind him and he turned around. "Whatta you mean?"

"What's after breakfast?"

He gave her a smile. "Whatever ya like."

-o0o-

It was as easy as ever to be around him and she was relieved to discover that. She'd liked it and it would've sucked if anything had changed. They had breakfast and she laughed her ass off when he gave a vivid description of Tig's total attack questioning of him the day before. He claimed he hadn't told him shit and she was glad about that.

She was a little less glad to hear that Tig had been a bit pissed and had taken Sally off for one of his experiments, but according to Chibs she was fine, besides a sprained ankle and she was pretty sure that was due to Sally walking in her shoes so that was kind of her own fault.

"He says I have to nick that school girl outfit and give it to him as an apology."

"Why? Did he call dibs on me?"

"Baby, he calls dibs on all girls. A girl walks in he's got first dibs."

"Really?"

"No, we tend to take turns."

Catherine laughed. "How very grown up of you. Did I mess that up now?"

"Nah. You're Pinch's sister, ye get to choose all by yerself."

"Good." She finished the last of her pancakes and picked up her cup of coffee. "If he really wants it, he can buy it from me."

"What? You or the costume."

"The costume, obviously." She glared at him, but when he winked she realized that he was, as always, messing with her. "We sell our stuff to customers all the time. Not just outfits, all kinds of weird shit that they want."

"Like what?"

"A guy cut my toenails and paid me for the nails. One girl sold a used tampon to a guy. Basically, they buy our trash."

Chibs almost spurted coffee over the table. "Yer shittin' me?"

"No, swear to god. People are strange," she shrugged "So he can buy it from me. He'll have to pay me enough to be able to afford a new one and some profit."

"He'd want it used and unwashed."

"I'll take it out for a jog."

Chibs leaned over the table and kissed her cheek. "Let me know when, so I can watch ya jog in it."

-o0o-

"Wanna tell me why Pinch has toys tattooed on 'im now?" Chibs asked later that night when they were lying next to each other in his bed at the clubhouse.

"Is that why you're doing this?" She turned around and smiled at him. "So I'll tell you why he's got that ink?"

"Aye," he said and pulled her closer and gave her a kiss. "So ye gonna tell me?"

"No."

Chibs smiled and ran his fingers over her ribs. "Sure about that?"

"Ask him, it's his ink, his story."

"Okay," he gave her a kiss. "Gonna tell me what all those little balls are that you have on yer back."

"It's not little balls. It's amino acid molecules."

"Amino acid molecules? Why would you tattoo that?"

"All amino acid molecules have a letter as a short name. It says 'I am star stuff'."

"Why?"

"Because we all are."

He leaned over her to look at the ink she had down her neck. "I am star stuff." He laughed. "Can I write 'I have a big dick' in those letters?"

"No. Could do 'megadick' though. Or 'hard dick'."

"Scotland?"

"Yup."

"Scotland forever?"

"Are you gonna do a string of little balls somewhere on you?"

"Just askin'." He kept kissing her neck and shoulder.

"What did Matt say to you? Was he pissed?"

"Nah," he said and laid back down in front of her. "Just that I better not get in the way of what you wanna do."

That caught her off guard. Matt seemed to take all this very much more seriously than she did.

"Okay?" she finally said hesitantly. "So what are we doing here?"

"Tryin' to get into yer pants again at the moment. In general I'd say we're having good sex." He licked her lips. "Maybe just keep it at that for a while."

"I'd like that," she answered. "It sounds good. I'm not all that keen on messin' with married men though."

"On paper, never got around to gettin' that divorce."

She had a feeling there was so much more to it than that, but she let it slide for now. It wasn't any of her business.

"So I don't have to worry about her coming in with guns blazing?"

"Nah, definitely not."

He rolled her over onto her back and laid down on top of her. Catherine decided that having good sex was an all around good thing and pretty much all she needed at this exact moment.

* * *

_I'm not sure how much of the E=MC2 that you actually got, but if there's any questions, give me a holler. _

_AND if you want to read more about it, there's a great book called "E=MC2: A Biography of the World's Most Famous Equation" by David Bodanis. There is no need to know anything about Math or Physics to understand it and it's very well written and easy to follow. And in that one you'll find out HOW and atom bomb works too._


	14. Come to My Garden Walk

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_I know I haven't replied to all the reviews for "Long Gone Blues" and I'm sorry, it's a bit hectic at the moment, I'll try to get to it tonight. Thank you all so much._

_Very, very special thank you to two ladies who are a huge help to make these stories readable, __**Simone Santos**__ and __**MuckyShroom**__. You two ladies are amazing, thank you ever so much_

_**I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter at first, again, I'm sorry.**_

* * *

**14. Come to My Garden Walk**

_For lover's gift is shy, it never tells its name, it flits  
across the shade, spreading a shiver of joy along the dust.  
Overtake it or miss it for ever. But a gift that can be  
grasped is merely a frail flower, or a lamp with flame that will  
flicker. _

-o0o-

When Catherine woke up the next morning she turned around and looked at Chibs. She carefully stroked his cheek and ran the tip of her thumb along his scar before giving him a kiss. He stirred a little and then opened one eye and gave her a smile.

"Hey, Lassie."

"Go back to sleep. I'm gonna find Matt and ask if he wants to have breakfast with me."

"Breakfast?"

"The thing you eat in the morning."

"Little tease," he said and gave her a kiss. "Gonna avoid me today?"

"Need to learn how to share," she laughed. He pulled her closer and hugged her tight with a laugh. "Isn't that what you said?"

"Got any lines of yer own or are ya gonna use mine all day?"

"Got back to sleep, I'm not gonna avoid you and I'll be with you all evening and night. How does that sound?"

"Fuckin' smashin'."

He let her go and she gave him another kiss. She found her clothes and by the time she went outside, Chibs was already snoring. Matt was at the bar and she gave him a hug.

"Wanna go out for something to eat with me?"

"Sure," he smiled. "Is he letting you out?"

"Told him he had to learn how to share."

Matt laughed and put his arm around her.

He took her to that fifties diner Gemma had taken her to once. They sat down, the place was practically empty so they got to order almost immediately.

"So we're really okay?" she said and glanced at him once the waitress was gone.

"Sure. Just... be careful, sis. I don't want you to get stuck here."

"I think we've agreed on this a number of times that I'm really smart. Do you know how hard I've worked to get where I am?"

"I do, I was there, remember. I know exactly how fucking hard you've worked and that's why I'm worried."

He was right. He'd been there, at least until the last few years when he disappeared. But before that he was certainly around and did his best to make sure she got the grades he thought she deserved. He'd even tried to help her now and then but by the time she moved in with him, he wasn't much help when it came to school work. Not that it mattered, she didn't need that kind of help from him. She'd actually done most his homework in math, chemistry and physics pretty early on. He would've been able to do them himself, he was smarter than he gave himself credit for, but he was lazy and Catherine liked to do them since it was more of a challenge than her own homework.

"I'm not gonna end up knocked up in Charming as a little Old Lady. I won't. I'm getting that PhD, if it's the last thing I do."

"Good," Matt said and looked up when the waitress came with their food. When she put the plates in front of them he looked at her. "What else is going on?"

"Not much, to be honest," she said and started to eat. "I got some tests coming up, I'm getting the opportunity to do some really interesting experiments" She wrinkled her nose. "And we're doing this group assignment thing."

Matt laughed when she said the last thing. "Still not a fan of group assignments?"

"No. It's better now though."

"Not like in high school when the teachers always paired you up with the jocks so they'd get good grades?"

"No. It's nothing like that. I just prefer doing things myself."

They'd always done that, paired her up with the stupid guys that needed grades to keep playing football, or whatever sport that teacher liked. She hated it and the guys always invited her over to 'work' at their place. Generally she ended up doing the assignment herself and gave them a finished script.

"How's the move coming along?" Matt asked. "Found a place yet?"

"I think so. I'll probably be moving in February."

"I'll bring some of the guys and help you."

"I have friends you know."

Matt looked at her and smiled. "I know, but my friends are bigger."

"Not sure if I want to have your _big_ friends poking around in my stuff."

"Just seal the boxes with tape and use code for the stripper stuff," he winked. "Speaking of your friends, who was that redhead at the club?"

"There's three of them, I don't remember which one was working when you were there."

"Really long hair, tits about this size." He held his hands in front of his chest. "She had a nurse's dress."

"Macy. She's married."

Matt stared at her. "Married?" Catherine nodded. "And her old man is okay with her stripping?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"Is he like her pimp?"

Catherine laughed, she'd met Macy's husband quite a few times when he picked her up from work. He was a long way away from being a pimp. He'd given Catherine a ride home a couple of times as well.

"He's a carpenter. They've got two kids and live in townhouse not far from me."

Matt kept staring at her. "Wow!"

"To most of us, it's just a job, Matt. He knows that. Some guys doesn't like it, of course, really jealous ones that come and makes a big fucking scene at the club. But quite a few of the girls have husbands and boyfriends at home, the supportive kind. Like Jenny."

"Not sure I'd be okay with that."

"Considering how you are with girls and especially the ones around the clubhouse, that's a bit fucking hypocritical."

Matt glared at her, but didn't say anything. They sat in silence for a while before he open his mouth again.

"Chibs is the same as me. With women I mean."

"I know."

She should've known she was painting herself into a corner with that comment.

"Are you okay with that?"

"Matt..." she wasn't sure what to say. "It's not like we're married, he's not even a boyfriend or... fuck, whatever it is you're implying."

He didn't say anything and once again they kept eating in silence. When they were done he paid and they got up. By the bike she took his arm and when he turned around, she hugged him.

"I'm going places, I'm not getting stuck here and that means that whatever we're doing; I can't demand things of him. I'm okay with that, I know what I'm doing. I'm not only a big girl, I'm very smart too."

He looked down at her and kissed her forehead. "You might be smart, but there's no such thing as a smart heart and I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into."

"Okay. Thank you for looking after me."

"I'm glad you noticed," he said and got up on his bike.

He took her back to the clubhouse and followed her inside with his arm around her shoulders.

-o0o-

It was the night before New Years Eve and she was in Chibs bed. She'd spent the night before at Matt's place and they'd eaten popcorn and watched Sci-Fi movies that she explained or tore to pieces, and just talked. She loved that they were back to that, talking. They'd always done that and never ran out of things to discuss or analyze. He might say to everyone that she got all the smarts in the family, but it wasn't true. Matt was smart and really good with people. They'd talked about Chibs too, not that much, but enough for her to be convinced that he really was okay with the two of them.

She turned around and put her arm over Chibs and noticed that he was still awake.

"Yer really close. You and Pinch."

"Yes."

"Tell me about it. Why ye are."

"I lived with him. He moved out from home when I was twelve and I moved in with him."

Chibs moved his gaze from the ceiling to her. "Why?"

She wasn't sure how to explain it. Or rather; she wasn't sure she wanted to explain that. When she looked back at him he was still fixated on her and she sighed.

"We didn't have a good family. That included our brother and sister. When he moved, he wasn't there to protect me from them anymore. It didn't take long, I really tried to make it myself, but then I called him... he came and picked me up just twenty minutes later. Told me to pack my bags. That was it."

He carefully stroked her cheek and then gave her nose a kiss. "They're for you. The toys."

"Yes."

"A Rubik's cube?"

"He had one. Tried to solve it for days and then I got my hands on it."

Chibs laughed. "How long did it take ya?"

"Not long."

"Yer just a little stripper Einstein, aren't ya?"

"Yes." She pushed him over to his back and straddled him. "He's taken care of me for as long as I can remember. Protected me. He... just wanted to leave that behind him when he joined you."

"And maybe protect ya."

"Maybe. So I didn't get hurt or end up just like this. On top of a biker." She leaned down and kissed him. "He seems okay with it though."

"Oh, love. He'll take me up in the ring the second ya leave."

"Did he say that?"

"Aye. Told me he would. He also told me that he'd shoot me in the kneecap if I didn't treat ya good and that he'd shoot me in the 'ed if I got in yer way of the things ya wanna do."

She stared at Chibs. "Oh. Why? The ring, not the other things. I get those."

"Cuz the first night ye were 'ere, he came back to the club and said we had to stay away from ya. He was very clear."

"Well, I haven't seen you fight, but I don't think you stand a chance, baby."

He flipped her over to her back and leaned really close. "Ya better make it worth it then."

-o0o-

It was New Years Eve and the clubhouse was packed. She's seen it pretty damn full before, but nothing like this. There were people everywhere, she didn't recognize most of them. She was standing next to Matt when someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her in. When she looked up she stared into Chibs eyes and he smiled.

"Let yer bruther get laid and rub up against me instead."

"Yeah, I think it's your turn." She moved closer to him and he gave her a kiss.

The 'sharing'-comment had been brought up a lot, by all three of them. Matt didn't waste any time at all and just minutes later he was on the couch watching a girl dancing around the pole with another girl in his lap.

While Chibs was talking to some guys she looked at the girl dancing. She wasn't that bad and Catherine suspected that she was an actual stripper. The other girls she'd seen had mostly been holding on to it while rolling their hips, but this one was doing some tricks. Some of the easier ones at least.

"Got nuthin' on ya."

"What?" she said and turned to look at Chibs.

"Yer better."

"I know." She turned around and put her arms around his neck. "But I ain't gonna go up there and dance for ya."

He laughed. "Got a better idea. How 'bout I fuck ya into next year?"

"You wanna sneak out of your own party and have sex?"

"Aye."

"Now?"

"Aye."

She looked around in the room. It was about twenty minutes to midnight and... well, the diplomatic way to put it would be to say that Chibs wasn't the only one with that idea; only difference would be that he was at least trying for privacy. When she looked at him he was smiling so she took his hand.

"Okay."

Chibs led her to the dorms. Even the hallway was slammed and he pushed some people from his door so he could unlock it.

"Hey, Cat!" She heard someone yell and she turned around and saw Jax walking away, he winked. "Happy New Year!"

She waved at him and the next second she was pulled into Chibs' room. His hand was cupping her behind and his mouth covered hers. She felt him pulling on her dress.

"Zipper under the arm," she mumbled and held up her right arm.

He found it and seconds later he took a step back and stared at her.

"Fucking hell, kiddo."

She'd done it on purpose and it looked like her bra, panties and stay ups were paying off. With her hands on her hips she did a half turn and wiggled her behind.

"Like it?"

"Baby, I've had half a boner most of the night."

"Still just half?"

He didn't even answer, instead he pushed her up against the door, still with her back towards him and he kissed her shoulder and up the side of her neck. She felt him grind his crotch against her ass and she felt it. It wasn't half a boner anymore.

The panties disappeared and he put a hand between her shoulder blades.

"Lean forward a little, Love."

She did and then she felt him line up and she turned her head around, looking at him over her shoulder. When he noticed he thrust inside her and then leaned over to kiss her.

Catherine couldn't focus on the kissing for long and leaned her forehead against the door, moaning. Chibs' mouth was at her ear, biting on her earlobe before kissing it. There was a lot of things that turned Catherine on, especially when it came to Chibs, but what she really loved was to hear his breathing. The shallow ones, moaning, panting and grunting. She fucking loved all of them, and having him just next to her ear, hearing every change in his breathing, was such a turn on.

She clenched him with her insides and she could immediately hear it on him. She arched her back a little more to get him further inside and that was something he noticed as well.

"Teasing girl," he mumbled as he pulled out and threw her over his shoulder to throw her onto the bed. He followed her, nestled between her legs and looked at her. "Need to make this last until after twelve and yer not helping when ya do that shit."

"So you want me to lie completely still, so I don't set you off?" She smirked, instead of answering he kissed her.

Then he started to move, still playing with her tongue and grabbing her behind. She'd been a bit surprised the first time they'd had sex, how tender he was. Tender as in kissing her, stroking her and being very close; and he'd kept that up. When they had sex it wasn't about him getting off, it was about him being close to her, being with _her_. He could sure play rough, fuck her from behind, have her ride him or simply try every fucking position she could've thought of. But it was still the two of them and he kept looking at her, stroking her and just... being tender.

Like he did now, leaning on his elbows he looked into her eyes. When it got too intense, she closed her eyes and felt him licking her nipple. Her moan made him latch on to it.

"Oh, Jesus, Chibs!" He chuckled, but didn't let go. "Fuck! If you don't stop, I'm gonna cum."

He moved up and licked her ear. "Then cum." And moving his hand from her ass, he pinched her nipple and she came.

Chibs let her rest for a few moments, lying still and gently nibbling her lips before he pulled out and turned her over to her stomach

Her head was resting on his arm and he slowly started to move inside her again. He was still taking it careful, resting his cheek on hers, now and then giving her small kisses. Without missing a single thrust he kissed her cheek and mumbled.

"Happy new year, love."

And when she looked at his watch it was midnight. "Geez, are you keeping an eye on the time?"

"Told ya I'd fuck you into the new year."

"It's the new year."

"Good, cuz I'm 'bout to explode."

He yanked her up to her knees and now he fucked her. She came once again with him and then fell onto the bed.

She laid down on his arm, holding him. "That's a first. Fucking into the new year."

"Good. Wanna be yer first something."

Catherine was tired and slightly drunk and she closed her eyes hugging Chibs tight.

"Lassie," Chibs mumbled just as she was about to fall asleep.

"Mhmm?"

"Nuthin'." He gave her cheek a kiss. "Go to sleep."

"Night."

-o0o-

She woke up and snuck out of the bed into the bathroom. After peeing she looked in the mirror and noticed her full blown party make up all over her face so she stepped into the shower. It didn't take long until Chibs came in after her. She rinsed the soap out of her face and turned around.

"Morning."

He smiled and gave her a kiss. "Mornin'."

"You know, I'm gonna have to do the walk of shame in my New Year's Eve party dress out of here."

"Not the only girl doin' that. And yours covered a lot more that theirs."

"That's true. Practically a nun in that dress compared to some of theirs."

"Didn't matter, still the hottest chick here." He gave her another kiss. "And I'd wait to go out there until later. When they start cleaning up."

"I just thought I'd get rid of the make up." She circled his waist and kissed his chest. "I was planning on coming back to bed."

"Thought you were sneaking away again."

"No, not today. Might do it tomorrow, but then I'm sneaking home."

"No fucking sneaking," he mumbled and pushed her against the wall. He hoisted her leg up over his waist.

"I won't sneak," she laughed and pushed him away. "And no nookie in the shower."

"Why?"

"No condom," she said and kissed him when she passed him on her way out of the shower.

She grabbed a towel and continued out to the room. He caught her again just by the bed and threw her onto it.

"That's very caveman of you, throwing me onto the bed."

"If ya stay in it I don't have to." He moved closer to her. "They'll wake us up when breakfast is done. Got back to sleep."

-o0o-

They both woke up when someone banged the door and yelled that there was breakfast, so he'd been right about that. When she pulled the dress over her head she realized that a sparkly dress wasn't as nice the day after New Year's Eve, she felt a big stupid no matter what Chibs had said earlier. Once they were out in the bar it didn't matter anymore since she was far from the only one still wearing the same dress and most of them were sparkly.

Chibs' arm was around her waist and he directed her to a table with Tig, Matt and Trudy.

"Mornin' sis. Where did you run off too yesterday?" Matt asked with a big smile, she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Do you want details?"

"Do you?" he said with a wink and she sat down next to him.

"Maybe we should just agree on us not sharing those details?"

"I think that's best," he nodded.

She took a cup and poured coffee for herself and then grabbed a muffin. She didn't think it was one of Bobby's, mainly since he was on the couch, looking half dead. Also since it didn't taste as good as his usually did. It was still okay though.

-o0o-

The next day Chibs stood next to her car. Catherine gave Matt a hug before walking over to him.

"I'll give you a call," she said and put her arms around his waist. He looked down at her with that big smile.

"Ya fucking better. Not done with ya yet."

She looked up at him and he gave her a kiss, a very proper one, before grabbing her cheeks and leaning his forehead against hers.

"I promise," she mumbled. "And I'll see you."

"Aye, ya will."

Catherine got into her car and waved one final time to Matt and Chibs who were standing next to each other.


	15. One Day in Spring

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Well, here's the next chapter of this story. The next chapter of Long Gone Blues is on its way as well. Early on this story was going to be my slow burner, obviously my muse wasn't keen on that idea and at the moment LGB is the one that's going much slower. But I'm still working on both of them. _

_The next thing coming is the sequel to "Far Gone & Out". That one on the other hand is going to be really complicated, so it's going to take me longer than usual to finish that one._

_Basically a small update so that you know that even if I'm not publishing, I'm still writing!_

_A massive thank you to my lovely beta; Muckyshroom. Another one for Simone Santos, who's always there when I'm stuck and to the ladies in the Freak Circle who can make any shit day seem a lot better. Thank you!_

* * *

**15. One Day in Spring**

_Between two beings, each to the other unknown,_  
_This eager wonder is at the heart of things.'_

_The cry that is in my heart is also the cry of her heart;_  
_The thread with which she binds me binds her too._

-o0o-

Things happened quickly when she got back home. She found a new place in Pasadena that she loved and despite it meaning she'd be stuck with two rents for two months, she took it. It was perfect and worth some extra nights at the club. School and work were pretty much the same. The only thing that was different was the calls to and from Chibs.

At the moment she was standing back stage at work and calling Matt to ask him if he was serious about making sure she'd get help. The move was just about a month away and she wanted to make sure there would be a lot of people there to help.

"_Wow, sis. You just gave me a major boner!" _he answered the phone with a laugh.

"What the fuck!"

"_Had the phone on vibrate and it was against my dick. Really nice."_

"That's just sick, Matt."

"_I know. I'm still telling Chibs you gave me a stiffy."_

"Very sick!"

Matt chuckled._ "What's up?"_

"I found a place to live, so I was wondering if you were serious about helping out?"

"_Sure. Just give me the date. I'm sure we'll figure something out." _She could hear people in the background and suspected he was at the clubhouse. Her suspicion was confirmed when he yelled out. _"Who __wants ta __help my stripper sister to move?"_

There were a lot of yells and they all seemed eager enough.

She laughed. "You sure know how to get them."

"_Probably just heard __'__stripper__',__ and that was all it took."_

"It's really nice of you. All of you. I'm not sure about the exact date yet, but it's about a month from now."

"_It's not a problem, sis. They'll help you. I'll make sure of it."_

"And I'll make sure that I have beer and food for them."

"_Add a few stripper friends and they'll pay to help you."_

"A few of them will be there." She noticed the manager waving. "I'm gonna have to go, I'll call you later."

"_Are you at work?"_

Matt's comments about her work had been mainly positive the last couple of months. She was relieved, but was also wondering a bit why that was. This wasn't the time to discuss that thought and she also guessed it was better to go with it and not question it.

"Yeah, gonna go and make some money. I have two rents to pay for a couple of months."

"_Let me know if you need money and knock 'em dead, sis."_

It was Thursday, but there was still a fair amount of people there and she was already close to her minimum that night. While on stage she spotted some potential customers and, with her clothes in her hand, she walked off stage to the dressing room. When she turned on her phone she noticed a missed call from Chibs and called him up while lighting a smoke.

"_Hey, Lassie. What are you wearing?"_

"A thong and platforms at the moment."

"_Oh, baby," _he laughed. _"Think ya can wear that next time I see ya?"_

"Really? I could be naked if you'd prefer that."

"_Could strip for me."_

"I could." She found the clothes she was looking for. "I'm at work, so I'm gonna have to cut this short. You called earlier."

"_Just wanted to ask if you really gave Pinch a stiffy."_

She should've known he'd have told him that the second they hung up. "He had the phone on vibrate next to his dick."

"_Ohh. Think ya could call me in about two minutes?"_

"If I can't give you a stiffy without a fucking vibrating phone, I'd say you're done with me."

"_Already got one. Wanted to see if I could cum from it."_

"I'll call you in a couple of minutes," she laughed. "I gotta go now. I need to make some money."

"_Do that, love. I'll take to you later."_

"Sure."

She waited a little while before calling him again. As expected he didn't answer, but when she came backstage later that night, he'd sent her a message letting her know that it hadn't worked and that he wanted her to call again anyway so he could talk to her instead.

-o0o-

She had no idea where the time disappeared to. School was taking up much of her time. She studied harder than ever. It wasn't that she found it all that hard, but she wanted to ace every fucking class and so far that plan was working out. The main reason was that she wanted to be able to pick and choose what school to get her Masters and PhD at.

There was also the small matter of packing up all her stuff. One night, when she was doing just that, her phone rang.

"_Tell me yer in a thong, Lassie."_

"No," She looked down. "I'm in a t-shirt and gray sweatpants."

"_Damn. Got a thong underneath?"_

"I only wear a thong at work. You should know that, you've seen my panties." She went over to the open window and lit a smoke. "What are you up to?"

"_Not much. Pretty calm 'ere. Want a visit?"_

"You?" It wasn't all that surprising. He'd been hinting about it and she'd told him that he was welcome whenever he felt like it.

"_Aye. Me."_

"I'd like that."

"_Be there on Friday." _It was Wednesday so he was obviously not wasting any time.

"I'm working on Saturday, but if you're okay with that I'd like you to come."

" _'s okay. I'll hang at yer place and pick you up after work."_

"Yeah?"

"_Sure. Wanna make sure no one stalks ya home."_

"I'll be waiting for you on Friday then."

"_Good."_

-o0o-

The knock on her door made her smile as she half ran towards it. The second Chibs was inside the apartment his arm was around her waist and his lips were on her mouth. When she stopped to look at him she noticed bruises, including fading colors around his left eye.

"What the hell happened?"

"Pinch. Told ya he'd take me up in the ring." Chibs held her closer and licked her throat.

"Yeah, but you still have bruises."

"He left me hangin' to worry me for a while."

"Mean." She smiled and kissed him. "And smart."

"Yup," he nodded with a smile and then kissed her again. "Done talkin'?"

"For now."

"Good. I've had a boner since I left Charming," he mumbled as he kissed her and started to take off his clothes.

Catherine laughed, took a step back and pulled off her sweater.

"Bra, girl."

"All about the tits."

With his hands on her breasts, circling the nipples with his thumbs he moved closer and smiled. "More about the pussy, but these are my second favorite."

Catherine just barely heard the end of the sentence since he was moving his right hand down her body and into her panties. When his finger slid between her folds, and he felt how ready she already was, he groaned and licked her lips.

"Wanna tell me somethin', lass?"

"I've been horny since you said you were coming here," she mumbled against his lips and then grabbed him and kissed him, trying to contain her moan. When his fingers moved inside her she leaned back her head and he kissed her neck. "Oh, fuck, Chibs! I've missed this."

"Makes two of us," he said into her neck.

Making her back up, he kept pumping his fingers inside her. As soon as he realized her legs were just barely carrying her, he lifted her up and walked her into the living room. Once back on the floor, he turned her around and bent her over the backrest of the couch before pulling off her panties. He sure seemed to have a thing for taking her from behind when he was eager.

"Okay with this, love?"

"Yes!" She was more than okay with it, she wanted him immediately.

When she felt his dick slowly move inside her, she looked over her shoulder. Once fully sheathed he halted, leaned over her and moved his arm around her, kissing the side of her neck.

"Fuck, baby," he mumbled and then slowly started to move, still holding her tight against his chest.

She felt his hand going down her stomach and when his fingers hit her clit she moaned and fell limp over the back of the couch. His fingers were still playing with her clit and his other hand was holding onto her hip. Her eyes were closed and she dug her hands into the cushions of her couch, trying to just feel. As he leaned over her again, his open cut enclosed her and she was wrapped in the smell of leather and his own scent. He nibbled and licked his way up her shoulder until his mouth reacher her ear. All she could hear was his breathing as it punctuated each of his thrusts.

With most of her senses taken over by him, she felt herself turning towards him and opened her eyes. His brown eyes were open and she saw him smile. The hand on her hip moved up to grab a hold of her jaw as he thrust his tongue into her mouth.

When Catherine came she closed her eyes and turned her head away, "Oh, God!"

With a half grunt Chibs hugged her closer, resting his cheek against hers, speeding up his thrusts.

"Jesus, Baby! That's so good!"

"Chibs..." she whispered incoherently as he gave her cheek a light kiss.

"Come on, Love. Let go," he mumbled in a hoarse voice that told her he was close as well.

She tilted her head back, resting it on his shoulder and cried out when the orgasm hit. His grip on her hip got firmer as Chibs slammed into her and came as well.

They stood in silence and he hugged her, both trying to calm down and catch their breath. When she turned her head to look at him, he laughed.

"Next time I'll get ya to the bedroom."

"We'll get there this time as well," she smiled and turned around. "But I want you naked too."

Chibs caressed her face and gave her a kiss. "Aye."

-o0o-

"Can I smoke in 'ere?" Chibs asked a while later while he was on his back in her bed.

"Depends," she said and turned around with a sigh. "What are you smoking and can I have some?"

"Weed and yes."

"Then it's okay. This time." She didn't usually smoke inside, but she didn't feel like leaving the bed at the moment and she was moving from this place soon anyway. "Are you hungry?"

She'd just realized he'd been on the road for quite some time before he'd walked through her door.

"Aye. I could eat."

Catherine got out of the bed and walked into the kitchen. She found some left over Chinese and popped it in the microwave. Chibs was sitting up when she came back and she traded him the box for the joint.

"What is this?" he asked after starting to eat.

"Duck noodles."

" 's good."

"Yup." She opened her mouth when he fed her. "Did you know that ducks have the longest dick, proportionally, in comparison to their size."

Chibs laughed and shook his head.

"Looks like an umbilical cord," she continued and took the bottle of water that she'd brought in with the food.

"So what, they can swim up next to another duck and sneak rape 'em?"

"Haven't thought about it. Guess they could." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Such an interesting view of the world."

"Ya brought it up."

"I was thinking more about how you view everything from a fuck angle"

"Best angle. Only angle when we're talkin' dicks."

"True. Just remind me to never mention dicks around you again."

He laughed and put the box down on the floor before taking her hand and yanking her flat against his chest.

"Nah. I like ya talking 'bout dicks."

"That could be a fetish. Got a customer who wants me to talk about pussy. Or more that he wants me to talk about mine. He wants me to describe it."

"And he pays ya fer that?" He was still smiling and stroking her cheeks and jawline with his free hand.

"Yes."

"Whatta ya tell him?"

"I tend to start by describing how it's shaved, it's pretty pink color, and how very, very wet it is. Some about the clit..."

Chibs interrupted her by kissing her, hard. He rolled her over to her back and looked at her.

"I'll have a look. See what it looks like."

"While you're down there, why don't you get a taste too?"

He was kissing the inside of her thigh. She felt his fingers, slowly, easing insider her and she moaned.

"It's a beautiful pussy, baby," he mumbled. "Fuckin' perfect."

Moving against his fingers she tried to lift her hips higher, to get him to move his mouth on her, but he just kept looking with a big smile.

"Suck a fucking tease," she groaned, then he finally leaned forward and stroked her clit with his tongue.

This time around, they took it even slower. The sun was coming up when she finally fell asleep.

-o0o-

It was the snoring that woke her up. She turned around with a smile and scooted closer to hold him. It stopped the snoring and he turned and put his arm around her, but seemed to still be asleep. She kissed him and then left the bed.

He joined her whilst she was in the shower.

"Morning," she mumbled when he hugged her.

"Mornin', Love," he said into her hair and gave the top of her head a kiss. Chibs took a step back and looked at her with a smile. "How 'bout spendin' the day in bed with me?"

"I can do that," she said and licked his throat. "I'm working tonight though."

He grabbed her ass and pressed his hard on against her stomach. "Ya told me."

"What are you going to do then?"

"Stay 'ere, watch some movies and then I'll pick ya up from work." He was kissing her along her jaw line and she felt the smile on his lips. "Get you stoned and willing before I fuck you again."

"Is this all about pussy for you?" she laughed.

"Nah, all about _yer_ pussy, love."

"Good answer." She circled his neck with her arms. "Do I have to worry that you'll crash the club and make a scene?"

"Naw."

She gave him a kiss. "I'll call you when I'm done."

-o0o-

It was a pretty calm night at the club. Calm in the sense that it was just normal customers, no real fetishists and just regular dances. They were slammed though and she was on her feet most of the night. Even if she was used to walking in heels, her feet were killing her towards the end.

When her shift was over she called Chibs. Twenty minutes later she got the text saying he was waiting outside. He gave her a big smile when she came out.

"Hey, Lassie. All good?"

"My feet are throbbing. Besides that, it's all good. Made good money and wallet-raped a guy completely."'

He laughed. "Wallet-raped?"

"I'm very good at this," she said as she moved closer and gave him a kiss.

"Can imagine." He started the bike and she got on behind him.

When they got home she threw herself down onto the couch and pulled off her shoes to massage her feet. Chibs sat down, lit a joint and handed it to her.

" 'Ere, gimme those feet."

He took one. When he started to press his thumbs on the sole of her foot she moaned.

"Oh, shit. That's good." She took a drag and leaned her head back while she held her breath. He kept kneading and she moaned again. "Shit, I think you could make me come just by doing that."

"Yeah?" he looked up at her and doubled his efforts. "'ow's that?"

"Sooo good."

She took another drag, inhaled deeply and with closed eyes, leaning her head on the armrest, she held her breath and just enjoyed it. He was kneading her feet, first one foot at a time, and then took one in each hand. When she opened her eyes and looked at him he met her eyes and smiled.

When she held out the joint for him he shook his head.

"Breakfast tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yup. I'll take you to my favorite place. How long are you staying?"

"Gotta leave around five."

"Are you coming to help with my move?"

"Aye."

He let go of her feet, leaned over her to take the joint, and put it out before giving her a kiss.

"Are you done with my feet?"

"Aye. I'll make ya forget about them instead."

-o0o-

When they were in bed later she turned around and looked at him for a long time. His eyes were closed, but she knew that he was awake.

"This is more serious than I thought, isn't it? You and me."

"It's however serious you want it."

"You'd marry me?"

He sat up and stared at her, she managed to keep a straight face for about five seconds and then she burst out in laughter.

"Givin' me a heart attack 'ere, Lassie."

"I'm kidding. And it's not what I meant. I meant that the others don't really see this as you just banging a chick."

"Yer not a chick. Yer Pinch's baby sister. Don't bang sisters." He laid down on top of her and gave her a kiss. "And yer the one who tried to dump me when I still had me dick in ya."

"I thought you just wanted a taste."

"And you'd'a been okay with that?" He asked and kissed her between her breasts.

"Are you trying to dump me now?"

"Naw. Want more tastes."

"Overindulging?"

"Aye," he mumbled and kept moving his mouth over her. "Stuff me face with ya."

"I like you tasting me." She looked down at him. "For the record, I liked having you here."

He laughed and moved to lay next to her. "Good. I'll come back again."


	16. Why Did He Choose

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Thank you so much for your reviews, favs and follows. I__** know I haven't replied to all the reviews for the last few chapters and I feel really bad about that**__. It's just been a lot lately and I figured most of you would prefer it if I wrote rather than replied to reviews ;-) That being said, It's calming down again so I'm going to start doing it again. I'm really sorry and I hope you understand than I still love each and every one of them._

_Huge thank you to MuckyShroom and Simone Santos who both has been crucial to get this story readable. And to the ladies in the Freak Circle who keeps me sane, or at least on the right side of not being locked up._

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**16. Why Did He Choose**

_The cloudy nights in July are dark;  
the sky is soft blue in the autumn; the  
spring days are restless with the south  
wind.  
He weaves his songs with fresh  
tunes every time.  
I turn from my work and my eyes  
fill with the mist. Why did he choose  
to come to my door? _

-o0o-

It was the day of Catherine's move and she really hoped that Matt would pull through and come with at least some of his guys, 'cause most of her 'friends' had bailed out on her. It pissed her off, like hell. She'd helped so many people move, carried more than she even wanted to think about and now, when she needed their help, they were sorting their fucking sneakers or something.

She hadn't even bothered to listen to their lame excuses after hearing the first few. She knew for certain that she'd helped with her last move. Rodney, Jenny and Macy, another girl from work, had showed up at least. How easy this move would be now depended on Matt and how many guys he was bringing.

When she heard the bikes she ran out to meet them and halted at the door.

"Oh, shit," she said, mostly to herself.

It had to be a big part of the club and then some other guys she didn't recognize. Matt was the first to come up to her, picking her up in a hug.

"Geez, did you bring everyone?"

"Just told them my stripper baby sister wanted some help to move," he said with a smile. "Lotta volunteers. Especially when Tig flashed your shoes around."

She tuned and looked at Rodney, Jenny, and Macy who were standing at the door with open mouths, staring, just like she'd done a few seconds earlier.

"Well, we're dressed when we move," she mumbled to Matt. "In fact, outside the club, we're usually dressed."

"I know that." He gave her cheek a kiss before whispering in her ear. "They don't."

Chibs was the next one up and he gave her a kiss. "Brought some cars too. Hope ya bought beer."

"I did. And I'll buy them all pizza too."

She got hugs from the Charming guys and then they all started to carry stuff. They were big guys so there was no nagging about things being heavy. She suspected that none of them would even dare to do that since it seemed to be the ultimate sign of unmanliness to admit that something was too heavy. They were almost doing the opposite, pushing guys away, yelling that they could handle big pieces of furniture all by themselves. The phrase 'I'm no fuckin' pussy' was heard more than once.

Tig eyed every box he carried and then asked her if it was stripper stuff. He also hinted that she owed him for this and that he wanted the school girl uniform or at least a pair of shoes. One of the Nomads, she assumed he was one since she'd been told that some of them were, said he wanted a lap dance from her. That resulted in Chibs and Matt staring him down until he picked up an armchair and walked outside with it. Catherine was mostly stunned about how he picked up that armchair like it was a basket of eggs or something.

She pulled Matt to the side and asked him how the hell he had _really_ managed to get so many to come here, just to help her move. Apparently there wasn't much going on, they were bored. A trip to LA, helping his stripper sister and then hitting some strip clubs was the plan. 'Besides, Legs, you're family,' he smiled and gave her cheek a kiss.

The entire move was done in mere hours and she was so grateful she almost cried. She'd hardly had to carry anything herself, neither had either of the other girls. Any time any one of them picked something up one of the guys walked over with a big, flirty smile and took it from them.

Once in her new apartment, she ordered more beer and pizza, and watched in amazement. The bikers filled every free surface, eating pizza, drinking beer and laughing. Anyone lucky enough so sit close to one of the other two women was flirting. The next shock came when they started to help her unpack and to move furniture around .

Catherine wasn't going to object, it saved her the trouble of trying to find the floor and her bed that night. She made sure Chibs was in her bedroom, he'd stop them from going through her underwear or anything like that. Matt seemed on top of things in the kitchen and she'd overseen the work in the living room. She just needed to take care of the guy looking like a lost puppy while staring at a box on the floor, so she walked over to him with a smile.

"That's not the shoes," she said and put her arm around Tig's waist. "Want to see them?"

"Yeah," he nodded and she took him through to the bedroom and opened the door to her walk in closet.

The main reason she'd picked this apartment and was prepared to pay double rent was that it had a huge closet. She could fit all her stuff into it and it had the biggest shoe rack she'd ever seen, at least in a place of this size.

"See those racks there? I want my shoes lined up nicely on them and no fucking cum, you keep your pants up."

She wasn't sure this was smart, but she did have a feeling they'd be neatly up on those shelves if she let him do this. Besides, he'd been really helpful.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Those boxes are shoes. Be nice!"

"I love you," he groaned and ripped open the first box.

She helped in the kitchen and at the same time tried to coordinate the rest of them.

"Where's Tig?" Matt asked.

"In my closet, organizing my shoes."

"You're too nice."

"I'll frisk him before he leaves and he promised to keep his pants on."

"I'm gonna go and make sure he's keeping that promise," Matt said and walked towards the wardrobe.

They dropped off in groups, all after giving her hugs, even the ones she didn't know. Eventually it was just her, Jenny, Chibs, Matt, Jax and Tig left. She'd been into the closet and those shoes sure were neatly placed on the racks. They'd never be that organized again. She sat down between him and Chibs on the couch and curled closer to Chibs.

"You've all been amazing, thank you so much."

"I liked the red glittery ones," Tig said with a smile. "So if you ever wanna throw those away..."

"Ohh, Tig. I wouldn't throw any shoes away. I'll send them your way instead."

Chibs chuckled and kissed her cheek. "I'm staying until tomorrow mornin'."

She looked over at the others. "Are you all staying here?"

"I'm not," Matt said. "I'm going to a strip club and I'm taking everyone but Chibs with me." He looked at Jenny. "You can come too."

"Thanks, but no thanks. It's my day off," she answered.

The others laughed and got up and within five minutes it was just her and Chibs left. She straddled him in the couch.

"Did you make sure I have a bed?" She mumbled while kissing the soft spot below his ear.

"First thing I put together."

He got up and carried her into the bedroom.

"Missed me?" she asked while he took off her clothes.

"Aye. And I'm horny, haven't seen ya in weeks."

"Not sure when I can come to Charming." She pulled him down over herself and wrapped her legs around him. "It's a bit busy now."

"I know, babe." He nuzzled her neck, licking her collarbone.

"I'll try to come soon."

"Don't worry 'bout it."

"It's just, you've come here, but there's a lot..."

He chuckled and put his hand over her mouth. "Think ya can shut up so I can fuck ya now?"

She nodded and then felt his fingers in her panties, so she shut her eyes and smiled against the palm of his hand. That sounded like a good reason to shut up.

-o0o-

The spring flew by. She barely kept up and sometime in early May, she realized that she hadn't been to Charming after all and she wasn't sure when she'd have the time to go either. Probably not until the summer break. Chibs visited pretty often and Matt came by once. He made sure Chibs kept his ass in Charming that weekend. Something about loving them both, 'but not that much'.

The weekend after Matt's visit, Chibs came again. Later on the Friday night, when she was sitting at the kitchen table with her books spread around on it and her computer up, writing a report, she looked at him on the couch.

"Doesn't this bore you?"

"What?" He asked without even turning his head to look at her; fully vested in the action movie he was watching.

"To come to my place, doesn't it bore you? I always do school work, or even work at the club and you just hang around, watching TV."

She wasn't working every time he came, but it had happened more than once and she was gonna work the next day. She needed the money and he seemed okay with it, always picked her up afterward and pretty often gave her a foot massage that ended in sex. In general, his visits included a lot of sex.

He looked at her with a big smile. "Nah, like just hanging with ya. And I don't have to share ya when I come here."

"Is that what it's really about?" She asked with a laugh. "That I'm all yours when you're here and you have to share me with Matt when I'm in Charming?"

"Yup," he said and got up to come over to her. "And the rest of the club. Mostly Tig." He pulled her out of the chair and kissed her.

"Tig?" She put her arms around him. "You know I'm all about scarred Scots. Right?"

"I know. He seems to think he might still have a shot." She knew he was joking. At least mostly joking.

"He doesn't. Much too freaky and not as hot as you. Not even close." When he leaned down she kissed him and she felt the smile on his lips. "So no need to worry at all."

"Still like coming 'ere. Just us two."

"And my work and school and stuff."

"I know yer short on time." He kissed her nose. "Do ya like it better when ya come to Charming?"

"I like both so don't worry about it. I like having you here, you're really nice to come home to. And I love when you pick me up at work, I know no stalker would dare to follow you."

"If I keep kissin' ya, can I get ya to bed now?" He mumbled against her lips.

"Yes. Absolutely." She started to move him towards the bedroom. "I'm gonna have to write more on that report later though."

"Tomorrow. I'll leave ya alone tomorrow," he smiled while pulling off her t-shirt. He halted when he noticed she wasn't wearing a bra. "Tomorrow afternoon."

"You know I'm gonna have to tell Matt that you're keeping me from working on..." She was interrupted by Chibs latching on to her nipple, she moaned. "Might keep quiet about it."

"Probably best," he agreed and lifted her up to throw her onto the bed.

-o0o-

The next night he picked her up at work with a big smile.

"What's with the smile?" She asked as she took the helmet he was handing her.

"Rodney let me in. Saw ya dance."

She wasn't sure how to react to that and finally landed on, "Why?"

"Flagged me down when I drove by. Was gonna go for a beer at a pub. Told me he'd let me in if I behaved."

Catherine didn't say anything and got up behind him. When they walked into her apartment he grabbed her and snaked his arm around her, pulling her to him.

"What's wrong?" He asked and looked at her.

"Just... isn't it weird for you, to look at me like that?"

"Naw. Seen ya like that before and I like looking at ya, knowing I'm the only one who gets to touch. All those other fucks want ya and I got ya."

"So... that's what you're thinking of, when you watch me?"

"I'm also thinking about all the things I'll do to ya later and that yer the sexiest fuckin' girl I've seen. Love watching ya. Get loads of ideas."

"So it really doesn't bother you that I'm stripping?"

He smiled and hugged her tighter. "I've heard yer very strict on the 'no touching' thing."

"That's not what I mean. But I am." She put her arms around him, stroking his chin with her nose "More wondered if it bothered you that I make money flashing my goods to other guys."

This time he laughed. "No. They're nice goods, should make some out of it." He put his hand over one breast and stroked it. "Very nice goods."

"Thank you. So it doesn't even bother you when I walk away with other guys?"

"Nope." He was still looking at her breasts. "I know yer mine."

"It would bother me if you walked off with one of the other girls."

"Big difference," he smiled. "I'd walk off with one of the other gals to get a massive boner. You walk off with the guys to wallet rape 'em. I like that ya wallet rape guys who's got a boner for ya."

She was a bit surprised that he really understood the difference, and was glad about it.

"You're a nice guy," she said and stroked his scarred cheeks.

"Hey," he said and looked up at her again. "How strict would ya be if ya took me to the VIP room?"

She stared at him, then swallowed. "It's my job, I'm not gonna take you into one of the VIP-rooms at work."

"I'd pay you."

"Chibs! That's fucked up!" She let go of him and walked further into the apartment.

"Wouldn't be paying ya to fuck ya, more to keep ya away from other guys, to fuck with 'em. And also..." his smile was huge and his eyes glowing. "Kinda been fantasizing about it since I found out ya were a stripper."

"Well, there's a no touching rule in the VIP room. So you wouldn't be allowed to touch anyway."

Catherine didn't like the idea, it felt... messy. Having him in there and doing... the stuff she usually did. She was also a bit worried that he'd change his mind about her being a stripper if he found out exactly what she did in a VIP room. Although, she was pretty sure he knew exactly what happaned in a VIP-room. He was a biker, he had to have been in a damn VIP-room. She finally asked with a sigh.

"Chibs. Have you been in a VIP room with a stripper?"

He laughed. "Kiddin' me? Sure I have." He noticed her look. "What?"

"No, I just... Think I'm lucky."

"Baby, I'm a biker. I've done all sorts of things with girls. You've been at the clubhouse, you've seen what it's like and I've done all of that."

"I've seen it," she nodded. "I'm not gonna fuck you in the bar there though. Or give you a blow job in public or any of those things."

"I know." He moved closer with that big fucking smile on his lips. "Doesn't mean I'm not gonna try at least some heavy petting, but first I want to have ya grind that nice ass against me dick in a VIP room."

"I'm guessing that grinding on you here on the couch wouldn't be the same either?"

"Nah." He licked her lower lip.

"Can I think about it?"

"Aye," he kissed her. "Like you anyway I can 'ave ya."

She still thought it felt messy, just having him at her work was messy, she felt uncomfortable with that alone.

"So... it really didn't bother you? Today I mean."

He shrugged. "Didn't love it, but I've seen ya do it before, all of that. I knew that about ya." He circled her waist. "So, done with that report?"

She nodded. She'd gotten up after their sex the night before and finished it while he was asleep.

"Hey," he mumbled. "I'm okay with it and ya don't have to take me to the VIP-room."

"Okay."

"And I'm not gonna watch ya work agin unless you say so."

He'd obviously noticed that she didn't like the thought of him being there. It hadn't mattered to her before, but it was different when he was her... boyfriend. Or whatever the fuck you called what he was.

"Thank you."

"Still like to see ya do that stuff for me, so if ya change yer mind..."

"I'll let you know." That didn't seem likely though.

"Can I do those things I thought about while ya danced now?"

She smiled. "What did you think about?"

"I'm gonna eat ya out 'till ya cum in my mouth, then I'm gonna flip ya over on yer knees and fuck ya from behind while holding yer arms behind yer back. Really fuckin' hard." He smiled. "Gonna make ya scream, darlin'."

He was undressing her while he talked, kissing her, mumbling and she felt the vibrations from his words against his skin; they sent shivers all over her. She loved when he talked like this, he did it now and then on the phone. And he didn't stop...

"Then yer gonna suck my cock, I'm gonna fuck yer mouth, baby and yer gonna love it. Yer gonna ride me while I suck yer tits and finally," he cupped her face and looked into her eyes. "Ye'll be on yer back, me pounding away until I cum, moanin' next to yer ear. Cuz I know you feckin' love to hear me cum'."

"I do," she mumbled. "And then?"

"Ye'll need to give me a few minutes after that, Lassie. Then I'll give you a lazy, slow fuck. How does that sound?"

"Good. Very, very good." She kissed him. "Chibs?"

"Mmm?" he murmured between kisses.

"Why the fuck aren't we in the bedroom?"

He threw her over his shoulder and carried her into the bedroom with her ass in a tight grip. Then he did exactly what he'd said he would.

-o0o-

They stayed in bed until noon the day after. Then he got dressed whilst Catherine watched, still naked under the cover. Finally he leaned over the bed, one hand on each side of her chest.

"Gonna have to go now, Lassie," he said and leaned down to give her a kiss.

"I know."

This was the part Catherine hated; that he left, that it was always such short visits. "I promise not to work next time you come here."

"Baby, don't worry about it."

"Just sucks that I do. I wanna stay in bed with you, all weekend, no work or school stuff."

"I'm an old man, kid. Ye'll kill me if ya fuck me for an entire weekend."

"Are you calling me a horny bitch?"

"Aye," he smiled and gave her another kiss. "That's a good thing."

Catherine laughed and put her arms around his neck. "I've got a few more weeks of school, then I'll come to Charming for a while and you can work and do club stuff to get back at me for leaving you while you're here."

"Aye. Leave ya at my house to watch telly."

She laughed again, she loved that damn accent. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss ya too." He gave her one last kiss. "Always do."

And with that, he was gone. She laid in bed, listening to an annoying fly buzzing and the AC humming. She didn't move for a long time before she got up with a deep sigh. It didn't feel like enough. Not enough time with him and not enough... of anything with him. She wanted more than this, but she couldn't see how that would happen.


	17. Passing Breeze

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Sorry to keep you all waiting for these stories. This one especially since it's been a really long time since I updated it. Just a lot of things going on at the moment, but all that time I've been nagging about being on its way is finally around the corner! So I should be able to finish these stories soon. This also means I'm having a hard time replying to all your reviews, but I do promise that I'll reply if you have a question. I'll get back to replying to them all soon as well. Just around the corner..._

_A huge thank you to __**MuckyShroom**__, my very patient beta, and the ladies in the Freak Circle for always making me laugh and feel better about stuff. Thank you! LOVE YOU GIRLS!_

_**And yes, it's the same AN as in the other stories, it just sums up the situation properly and I'm not sure I have the same readers on all of them... Two more days of work...**_

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**17: Passing Breeze**

Catherine had just left the school for the last day of the semester and was on her way home to pack for her stay in Charming. She was going to spend the first week of her break there, just relaxing her brain. She'd been working a lot during Spring and since she and Jenny were planning another tour, she wasn't all that worried about money. There was enough for tuition, so she could take it pretty calm this summer, she needed that.

There was someone sitting on the stairs to her apartment building and when she saw who it was, she choked. It was Martin, her other brother, the psychopath. He hadn't seen her so she simply turned around and walked away. When she was inside a pub she called Matt.

"_Hey, sis. What's up?"_

"Martin is sitting outside my house."

"_Where are you?"_

"I'm in a pub just down the street. I'm freaking out."

"_I know. Hang on. Don't hang up."_

"Okay."

While she waited she ordered a beer and then she heard Matt again.

"_What pub are you in?"_

"The Rose and Crown."

"_Wait there, there's some guys coming for you, it'll take them an hour or so, but you wait there, you do not go to your place without them. Is that clear?"_

"Yes."

"_I love you, __L__egs. I'll call you in a while, okay?"_

"Okay. Love you too."

She had thought she was overreacting a bit, but now she was even more worried. Obviously Matt was freaking out as well. Martin had pretty much ignored her while she still lived at home. That didn't mean she missed his... interests, which quite often included killing small pets. Matt had had a strained relationship with him while he was at home, although they didn't fight, they pretty much left each other alone. Not so surprisingly; Caroline and Martin got along just fine.

As she got older, Catherine had actually begun to think about those two and how 'fine' they got along. Especially when she'd started to grow up and Martin had occasionally came by to visit her and Matt. She hadn't liked the way he'd looked at her and neither had Matt. He'd told her never to let Martin in when she was alone: Ever. That had actually freaked her out more than anything.

From early on, Martin had scared her more than even her parents at times. Simply since you could see in his eyes that if he snapped, there would be no stopping him. There was never any feeling in them, he didn't love anything; except possibly himself, but that was it.

She drank her beer and was just ordering her second one when Matt called again.

"_They're on their way to you and they'll make sure you get out of town in one piece,"_ was the first thing he said when she answered.

"And Martin?"

"_He's not there anymore. Stick to them."_

"I will."

This had all definitely freaked her out and the main reason was Matt's reaction. With a sigh she looked at the almost full bottle of beer and left it with the money on the bar.

-o0o-

Chibs met her when she got out of the car, took her hand, and walked her into the garage. She still hadn't allowed herself to fully explore the feeling that what they had wasn't enough. She didn't want to, she was truly scared for what that might lead too. At the moment she just wanted to enjoy being close to him.

"Ya okay, lass?"

"I'm fine. He didn't see me. It's all good."

"Good." He grabbed her cheeks and gave her a kiss. "Missed ya."

"Hey, sis!" Matt said as he passed her and yanked her hair, then he was pretty much gone. "Come and find me when you two are done."

"Such a mood killer!" she yelled after him. He laughed and gave her the finger. "Could you take him up in the ring for that?" She asked Chibs.

He lifted her up, put her on a bench and stood between her legs.

"Yer gettin' a tad bit bloodthirsty on me, love."

"You like it," she mumbled and tried to pull him down for a kiss.

"Nah. I luv it."

"Ooohh,_ love_ it."

He nodded and smiled. "And I luv ya."

Catherine was a bit stunned for a second. That sure as shit made things even more complicated. Now she had to admit it to herself that she did as well; but it was still hard to see that as something bad, that he loved her and that... she loved him. So she smiled, looking at him, carefully stroking his cheeks.

"Yeah?"

"Aye."

"I love you too."

He leaned his forehead to hers and sighed. "You need to find yer brother. He wants to talk to you. I'll wait in the bar."

She nodded and gave him a hug. "Don't run off without me."

"No way." He gave her another kiss and she went to find Matt.

Instead of Matt, she ran into Tig and he wasn't letting her go anywhere.

"You know it's my birthday tomorrow."

"I do. You've texted me once a day the last three weeks to point that out," she said. When she started to walk towards the clubhouse he put an arm around her waist.

"I just wanted to make sure you brought me a gift."

"And I told you the first time that I had a gift for you."

He stopped and she turned to look at him. He smiled. "It's the school uniform, isn't it?"

"You've texted and asked that too and I told you; I'm using that, but you can buy it."

Tig glared at her. "Doll, I'm not gonna buy it from you. Is it the glittery red shoes, cuz they'd do fine as well."

They were interrupted by Matt, "Stop harassing my sister, Tig. Get your naughty outfits online like the rest of us." Matt gave her a hug. "Besides, Chibs might have a problem with you wanting his girl's stuff for their jerk-off value."

"If I wanted it for jerking off I'd ask for a dance for a birthday present."

"Not gonna happen," Matt said and pointed at him. "And I'd stop there or I'll take you up in the ring."

When they walked away she turned around to see Tig miming 'I'll talk to you later'.

"Did you bring it?" Matt whispered as soon as he was sure Tig wouldn't be able to hear him.

It had been decided long ago that he'd get that damn school uniform. She had three different ones anyway, so it wasn't like she needed them all. She'd been stripping for so long, she had loads of shit and if Tig wanted it... why not? And no matter how she wracked her brain, she couldn't come up with anything too bad he could do with it with one of the croweaters.

"Yup, but I'm not dancing for him."

"No, you're not." He grabbed her and turned her around. "You don't have to worry about Martin, I'll handle that, but if you see him, you call me. Is that clear?"

"Have you been talking to him?" She asked.

"He calls me sometimes, we talk, but not more than that."

There was something else, she could tell and she eyed him. "Does he ask about me?"

"No. Last time he did I told him we weren't in contact anymore, he hasn't asked again. Listen, don't think about it, don't worry."

"It's a bit hard to take that seriously considering you just told me that I had to call you if I saw him," she muttered.

"Honey, just trust me. It's nothing to worry about, I just don't want it to become something to worry about. Does that make sense."

She didn't think that was all there was to it, but he probably wouldn't tell her much more since he didn't want her to worry. It was hard to determine what would worry her more; knowing exactly why _he _was worried or trying to imagine it herself. In any case, this wasn't the right time to find out. Not here. She'd try again when it was just the two of them.

Just as they were about to go inside she heard Gemma yell behind her.

"Cat, I'm glad you're here!"

She turned around. "Excel-problems?"

"Can't I just be happy about you being here?" Gemma gave her a hug. "I might have some small problems."

"I'll have a look."

"Good girl." Gemma kissed her cheek and ran away again, but turned around after a few steps. "I need your help with the birthday party too."

"Sure," she agreed and then turned to Pinch.

"You're too nice, sis," he said and shook his head.

"No, I'm not. They all helped me, so I owe them. Besides, I like Tig."

He just shook his head and took her inside the clubhouse. Chibs was waiting in the bar and smiled when he saw her. He got up and came towards her, grabbed her cheeks and gave her a deep kiss. It was obviously to mess with Matt and it worked.

"Geez!" Matt half yelled and let go of her. "Give me a second. Feels like a fucking threesome when I'm this close to you two doing... that!"

Chibs ignored him completely. With a smile he gave her another kiss then put his arm around her waist to walk her further inside. She noticed that there was quite a lot of people there, including some members she didn't recognize. There were two new girls, eyeing her, but none of them looked as mean as Lola. Catherine almost took a step back when she noticed her, Lola looked like she was about to kill her.

Chibs held her closer and pushed her forward. When she looked up at him with an uncertain smile he raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question. Obviously he hadn't noticed Lola's looks and she wondered if that was another thing she should worry about. She doubted it, she was starting to get a grip on the food chain in this place, or more than just a grip. It had been pretty damn clear from the very beginning that she was above the crow eaters, she just hadn't understood how much above them she was and she still wasn't sure what the status of a sister really was. But as a member's girl, she was definitely above them.

She turned and put both her hands around Chibs' waist, gave him a kiss, and when he looked down she smiled.

"I have to go and get my stuff. I'm guessing I'm not staying at Matt's tonight."

"Nah, but we're not staying 'ere. We're going to my place."

"Okay?"

When she'd been in Charming, they'd stayed at the clubhouse. Not that she'd minded, she wasn't too keen on getting up on the bike behind him when he was drunk and stoned, so staying the night had turned into a habit.

"We'll stay 'ere tomorrow, for the birthday party. We'll leave when you're ready."

Catherine decided not to make a big deal out of it, just gave him a kiss. "I'm gonna go and talk to Gemma, she wanted my help."

"Aye," he said, but he grabbed her tighter and smiled. "Come back 'ere later, yer all mine for now."

"Need to share a little with Matt. I'm having breakfast with him tomorrow."

He pulled her hair to get her to tilt her head back and planted a wet kiss on her lips with a smile. "All mine on nights."

"Yup. All yours on nights."

She gave Bobby and Piney hugs on her way out. Clay was outside and she thanked him for letting the guys come and help her.

"No problem. It's so calm here they're going crazy. It was a good ride for them and Tig still talks about your fucking shoes."

"Yeah. Glad he was there, takes hours to sort them."

Clay just laughed as she continued into the office. Gemma looked up when she came through the door.

"Oh! Thought he'd drag you off and fuck you before you'd come here."

"I was hoping for that too."

"Good girl!" Gemma laughed. "None of that fucking blushing you used to do."

"Want me to have a look?" she asked and pointed at the computer.

"Yeah. It's the two open documents and take a look at the computer too, it's slow again." Gemma got up and then sat down on the chair by the door. "I heard something about Tig and fruit."

"Ehh, that wasn't with me."

"No, I know. But do you really have a customer that pays you to mash fruit between your tits?"

"Yeah," she didn't even look up. She'd had that question around the clubhouse more than once. Tig's little experiment with Sally and the fruit had made a lot of them very interested in the fruit guy; and her other customers. "And yes, he pays me to watch, that's all."

"I don't get it."

"Me neither, but there's quite a few things I don't get when it comes to what customers like."

"Ever just said 'no' to something?"

"Are you kidding me?" Now she did look a Gemma. "I say no all the fucking time."

"Yeah, I mean more, not for touching or shit like that. Just a fetish you wouldn't agree with."

"Eproctophilia," she said and turned her focus to the computer again. She had no idea what Gemma had done with the computer. It was a complete mess again.

"What?"

"Fart fetish. I don't fart for money." That was just too fucking humiliating to her, she refused to do things that made her feel humiliated, it wasn't worth all the money in the world.

Gemma stared at her with an open mouth. "You're kidding?"

"No. Generally they want to pay per fart."

"You're not serious!"

"I am. Very serious. And I'm not doing that. One guy even brought a fart mask."

"I don't wanna know."

"No. You don't."

They sat quietly for a while before Gemma started to laugh. "Does it look like a gas mask?"

"Pretty damn close actually." Catherine looked up. "And you know; If they actually bother to produce those masks, there's quite a few people who're into that."

"And have a name for it."

"There's names for all of those things."

"You must think that Tig is pretty damn normal."

"I wouldn't go that far."

Normal wasn't what she'd call him, but then she hadn't had sex with him and she wasn't going to. Ever. She had a feeling he'd be able to shock her pretty bad, possibly even traumatize her. Despite her work, she was pretty damn vanilla in bed. She preferred it that way. More importantly, the only man she wanted to have sex with at the moment was Chibs.

-o0o-

They had dinner at the clubhouse, or rather, ordered in Chinese. She was sitting opposite Matt and between Tig and Chibs. Tig was obviously trying to get more ideas to try out with Sally or one of the other girls.

"Come on! Give me one!"

"Got this guy who wants me to dance and lick and kiss dolls. He's agalmatophiliac."

Tig's eyes grew wide, he looked horrified. "No fucking way."

Catherine laughed. "Really?_ That's_ your limit?"

"He's scared of dolls, love," Chibs said and laughed.

"They freak me out."

"Dolls?"

"Yeah." Tig said. "What?"

"Nothing. Just... don't think you'll like my present. I bought you a Real Doll."

Tig looked like he was physically hurting. "One of those sex dolls?"

"Yeah. According to guys who've tested them, it's almost as good, or even better, than the real thing. Always willing, won't ask for anything. You can sleep with it next to you then just roll over and get rid of that morning boner."

"No way!" Tig protested.

"I'm kidding. I wouldn't buy you one of those. They're really fucking expensive."

Matt laughed and shook his head. "I love you, sis."

Chibs pulled her to him and gave her cheek a kiss. "Just roll over and get rid of that morning boner? I love you, lassie."

-o0o-

When they finally arrived at his house, Catherine was so curious she could barely contain herself. The second they got inside she stopped and looked around. It was pretty much what she had expected. A lot of black leather, chrome, glass and pictures of bikes.

With a laugh she shook her head.

"What?"

"This is so classic stud pad it's almost... too cliché."

"Got a comfy bed," he said and reached around her to grab her ass. "And I want ya in it."

"Surprised you waited this long... and a bit disappointed," she said as she grabbed his cheeks and kissed him.

"I like you at the clubhouse."

"That's not what I meant. Not that it took you so long to invite me home. That it took you so long to get me into bed since I got here."

"Ah," he smiled and started to walk her towards what she assumed was the bedroom. "Yer bruther said he'd take me up in the ring if I dragged ya off to have my way with ya."

"I'm gonna have to have a serious talk with him."

"Aye, do that."

Chibs led her through the door to his bedroom and once again she laughed when she saw the bed. It even had the fucking black sheets.

"Really, baby? Black sheets," she said and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him.

"Shut up and get out of those clothes," he growled and reached for the button on her jeans. She helped him by pulling off her t-shirt. "Shite, I missed you girl."

She looked at him and got down on her knees, reaching for his jeans. He smiled, when she took him in her mouth he grabbed a fistful of her hair with a groan.

He didn't let her go on for long before he pulled her up and pushed her onto his bed with a smile. He followed and while kissing her, his fingers slipped inside her panties, circling her clit and dipping inside her.

"Chibs," she mumbled and stroke the scars on his cheeks. "Take the panties off."

Chibs nodded and did as she asked. He put on a condom and then grabbed her chin.

"Love you," he said and slowly pressed inside her. She wrapped her legs around him and reached for him to kiss her.

"I love you too, Chibs."

He took her slowly, kissing her and mumbling how good she felt into her ear. This was the kind of sex she liked. This was the kind of man she wanted, he made her feel so loved.

-o0o-

Matt called and woke her up in the morning, telling her he'd be there twenty minutes later. That made Chibs groan.

"Fucker did it on purpose, so we wouldn't have time."

"Don't you think you're being a bit paranoid? He knows we're having sex."

"Bet ya a million bucks he did it on purpose." He threw his arm around Catherine and pulled her closer. "Yer mine tonight."

"Sure am." She gave him a kiss. "I need to go now."

Matt smiled when she came walking out and handed her a helmet. "Tell me I cockblocked him."

"Yes. I defended you since I didn't think you did that on purpose."

"Sure I did," he laughed. "Come on. I'll get you breakfast and I'll answer all those questions you didn't ask yesterday."

Catherine couldn't help smiling. Her brother sure knew her. She put on the helmet and climbed up behind him.


	18. Brink Of Eternity

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters in the show. It's the property of Kurt Sutter, Sutter Ink and FX._

_Thank you so much for all your support on this story and on my others. It really means the world to me. I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting for so long for this chapter._

_There are a few people I need to thank for their invaluable help on this story; __**Simone Santos**__, for helping me and calming me down when I panic, __**MuckyShroom**__ for making what I write readable and last but not least, __**dancer with a soul**__, who's really gone above and beyond to answer all my questions. I really hope you haven't missed their stories._

* * *

**18. Brink Of Eternity**

_Oh, dip my emptied life into that ocean,  
plunge it into the deepest fullness.  
Let me for once feel that lost sweet touch  
in the allness of the universe. _

-o0o-

Catherine followed Matt into a diner and sat down. He'd said they'd talk about all those things he hadn't asked about the day before, about Martin, but neither of them talked until they'd received their food and coffee.

"Martin," she said and looked at Matt.

"I don't know what he's up to. I honestly don't," he added the last part when he noticed Catherine's eyes on him. "But I do know that he's... expanded his interests."

"Matt, I hate when you talk like that because no matter what he's really doing, what I've got in my head is worse."

Matt sighed. "Remember when we were kids and Spot from next door disappeared?"

"Yeah. And I'm pretty sure I know what happened to Spot, Missy and all the other animals that disappeared from our street. I think everyone did."

"Yeah. Only reason no one protested was because dad was just as fucked up." Matt kept studying her, as if she'd break apart at any second. "Like I said yesterday; I've been talking to him now and then and he used to ask about you until he figured we weren't in touch anymore."

"Did he ever find out that I'm a stripper?" The thought that Martin could walk into the club had just occurred to her and it freaked her out.

"Not from me. And I don't think he's going to strip clubs. At least not clubs where the girls aren't prepared to go a lot further than the ones you're working at."

Catherine's mind was working through all the possibilities of what Martin was doing with girls. Or rather _to_ girls. She doubted that their voluntary participation was something he was aiming for.

"How much do you know? About what he does, I mean."

"I don't know much. He hasn't been in LA much. Been traveling up and down the coast. He doesn't tell me where he is." Matt wasn't looking at her. "He thinks I'll come and find him."

"Matt! Look at me!" When he did she leaned forwards. "What is he doing?"

"I don't know for sure. I know he was charged for rape a few years ago. From what I heard, it was some nasty, torture shit. He was released on a technicality. I doubt that he's stopped after that. I think he's just doing it to women that no one gives a shit about now." He was looking at her now. "And it wouldn't surprise me if he's killing them too. We both knew that it was more than likely he'd head that way sooner or later."

Even if that had crossed her mind; more than crossed her mind, it had been her first choice, but to hear it spelled out still shook her to the core. She was trembling.

"You think he's coming for me?"

"No. I don't. That doesn't mean I want you anywhere near him." When he reached for her to dry off her cheek she realized that she was crying. "Honey. The only one he gives a shit about is himself and he knows what I'll do to him if he hurts you. I do, however, think he'd get off on making you scared."

Catherine nodded, took the hand that was resting on her cheek and gave it a squeeze.

"I haven't had a secret address or anything. Why did he come for me now and not before?"

"I don't know. I'm going to give him a call and see what he's up too."

When she didn't say anything, Matt moved over to sit next to her and put his arms around her.

"Honey, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I'll be all over him and we'll keep an eye on him _and_ you." He kissed her cheek and hugged her tighter. "Trust me."

"Okay," she finally agreed. "But you need to tell me if you find something out. Don't skip it just 'cause you think I'll be scared."

"I won't."

Matt returned to his seat on the other side of the table.

"So. What about next year?"

"Next year?" She asked after blowing her nose as discretely as possible. Which wasn't very discretely at all. "Wha'd'you mean?"

"You graduate. Any plans?"

"MIT," she said with a smile. "I wanna study at MIT for my masters. Possibly for the PhD as well, but I'm not sure. They're doing work on quantum computing."

"Wow!" Matt exclaimed. "That is so super interesting, please tell me _all_ about it."

"Shut up!" She said with a laugh.

"That is Massachusetts. On the East coast," he pointed out.

"I know that," she mumbled.

She'd thought about that. A lot. That it was on the East coast, the other side of the country, but she'd been set on it for years. She just wasn't sure how that would fit into her life at the moment; or rather how Chibs would fit into hers, if that what she wanted. There was just a lot of confusion so she avoided thinking about it. Either way, it was a year until she'd move anywhere, a lot could happen in a year.

-o0o-

"I'd prefer you in it," Tig said as he looked at the school uniform she'd given him for his birthday.

"Baby, Tig wants me to put on the school girl outfit and prance around," Catherine yelled to Chibs.

Chibs came over with a big smile on his lips. "Wanna repeat that when I'm 'ere?"

"Didn't say anything about prancing around and wouldn't you wanna see her in this?"

"Nah. I get to see her naked whenever I want to." Then he added with a bigger smile. "And she's got better ones at home. I've seen her in those."

Tig looked at her and shook his head. "You're breaking my heart here, doll."

"I'm sorry, Tiggy," she said and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "It's those scars and that accent. Totally swept me off my feet."

"Whatta shame."

"Don't think I'd be enough for you. I'm not all that kinky."

Tig laughed and patted the couch next to him. "At least sit next to me a while."

"Sure," she sat down and looked up at the girl dancing around the pole. "I can sit."

It didn't take long for Chibs to come and sit next to her and then Trudy was there as well. She couldn't help feeling a bit odd about the other girls now. It wasn't that far fetched that Chibs'd had sex with all of them. In fact, it wasn't all that far fetched that he was still having sex with them.

Early on, when Matt was describing the club to her, he'd told her about the 'what happens on a run stays on a run'. She wasn't sure how that worked when she lived in a different town, if it meant he was, in a way, constantly on a run. Or if that even applied since she wasn't his Old Lady and he didn't think he needed to even take her into consideration when it came to nailing girls when she wasn't around. They hadn't discussed exclusivity, not once. He'd never asked her what she was doing when she was in LA either.

Until she knew, socializing with drunken crow eaters seemed a bit hazardous. She didn't want to know and didn't want any details.

It wasn't much of an effort to avoid them that night, though. Tig was busy with both Trudy and Sally. The other girls were soon occupied as well. Matt took off with a girl she didn't recognize, Bobby had a girl that seemed very out of place. Finally Chibs took her to his room, but only because she'd told him his hands had to stay outside of her panties as long as they were in public.

-o0o-

It was dark and she was alone. When she reached out her hands she felt the door. It was warm and then she saw the light in the crack below the door. And smoke! There was a fire! In a panic she tried to find the door handle while screaming.

"No! Please! Let me out!"

It didn't matter if it was her dad coming for her. He'd beat her up, but it was better than being burnt alive.

"Cat!" Someone said close to her while grabbing her.

Someone was with her in the dark and in her panic she took a swing in their direction, but her hand was caught. She tried to move away, still screaming, but there were no words, just... screams.

"Open your eyes, love. It's me!"

"Chibs?" She began to calm down and felt him dry her cheeks.

"Yeah. Nightmare?"

She managed to open her eyes and saw him close to her.

"Happens sometimes." She moved closer. "I... used to wet my bed when I was a kid. Dad locked me in the wardrobe when he noticed it since he knew I was afraid of the dark. Sometimes he continued to drink, got pissed again and came back to find me to teach me a lesson; again. I still dream about being back in there."

"That fuck is lucky he's dead," Chibs muttered and pulled her closer. "Can I get ya something?"

"No. I'll be fine. Go back to sleep."

As Chibs fell back asleep next to her, she laid awake listening to the sounds of the clubhouse. Some girl was having some great sex in the room next door, or was at least trying to sound like she was having great sex. She could still hear the music from the bar, so the party could still be going on out there.

When the girl in the next room yelled 'oh my fucking god I love your big cock' Catherine giggled and heard Chibs groan next to her.

"Fucking Tig," he muttered.

"Birthday boy is getting busy." She was very glad it was Tig and not her brother in the room. She hadn't known for sure who's it was.

"Birthday boy is always busy," Chibs huffed next to her and turned over to his back. "Can't sleep?"

Before she could answer there were more yells from Tig's room and then something slammed against the wall. When the grunting started she figured Tig was fucking a girl against it. She heard Chibs lighting a smoke next to her, but wasn't looking at him.

"Think we can compete with that," Chibs said and she laughed and finally turned to look at him.

"Nah. Let him feel like a stud. It's his birthday after all." She turned towards him and put an arm over his chest. "And I'm not gonna yell out loud about the proficiencies of your cock."

She drew her fingers along the lines of the bill tattooed on his chest and looked up at him. He was staring up at the ceiling with a slight smile on his lips.

"Do I even wanna know why you're smiling?"

"Just thinkin' we might see more school girl uniforms now. His thing about stripper shoes is gettin' spread among the girls. They're starting to buy 'em."

"How's that working out?"

"They're gettin' good at using 'em." He put out the smoke and turned towards her. "Can't dance like you, though."

"Chibs... are you still nailing the girls here in Charming?"

"No," he smiled. "Figured it upped my chances of getting to nail you bareback. Also figured you wouldn't like that. Are you getting nailed by others?"

"No."

She figured 'nailing' in his world probably meant he was still getting blowjobs and that he stuck to the 'what happens on a run'-philosophy. She also figured that she could ask him to not do it, he might agree, but she wouldn't trust that anyway. She preferred them being honest rather than making empty promises. She took a deep breath.

"Do I need to worry about the other girls rubbing my face in what you do when I'm not here?"

"No. They know better. If they do, they're probably lying and doing it to hurt you."

"Okay." She stroked his hair and drew her thumbs along his scars. "I knew what getting involved with you would mean, but I don't like it and... I don't want it thrown in my face."

"I got Pinch, who loves ya more than anything, around all the time. And I luv ya, so I won't do shit that'll hurt ya."

"I'm not sure what that means, but I'll take it. Give me an STD and you're screwed."

"All clean," he said after looking at her for a while. "Got tested a few weeks ago and I'll stay that way till you dump me."

"What if you dump me?"

"Lass, yer a twenty four, very soon to be twenty five, year old, blond, very sexy, extremely smart and funny girl that I luv; who can rock a pole like nuthin' I've ever seen. I'm not as smart as you, but I'm smart enough to hang on fer as long as possible and not do anything to hurt ya." He looked down at her breasts and gave one a lick. "And these are just... wow. And that brain, it never stops amazin' me."

"Yeah? Like my brain too?"

"Third best thing 'bout ya."

"Third. That would be after my pussy and my tits?"

"Sorry. I'm a guy, I have a dick." He moved up and kissed her nose. "Got an offer fer ya. I'll stick to blowjobs, no matter where I am, if you stick to topless bars. No full nudity."

"Really?" She wasn't doing full nudity places. It didn't mean she never had and she'd never made any kind of decision to never do it again. "Why's that an issue?"

"I wanna be the only one who sees this," he said and cupped her mound.

She could've pointed out how fucking hypocritical that was. That she couldn't show it to anyone while he'd get to shove his dick into other women's mouths. At the same time; she'd known it would be the case when she starting this thing; and at the moment... she could live with it.

"Okay." She pushed him over and straddled him. "I'll keep your favorite part under wraps. Your eyes only."

"So... bareback?"

"Tell me this isn't just a very subtle way to compete with Mr Well Endowed in there." She nodded towards Tig's room, where the couple were still going strong. "And that you're planning on making me howl here."

"Nah," Chibs smiled and sat up. "More trying to get shower sex tomorrow mornin'."

"Tired of just getting blowjobs and giving head in there?"

"We'll keep doing that too." He pulled her down next to him. "But more like foreplay."

"Such a greedy boy."

They both halted when a primal scream erupted from the room next to them. A male scream.

"That'll give you ten minutes to fall asleep before he gets started again."

"Shit! I might've picked the wrong Son after all if he'll be up and going again ten minutes after that."

Chibs pinched her behind with a laugh. "Did anyone tell you about the trout?"

"Yes, they did." She turned around and snuggled her back against him. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Shower in the morning," he mumbled into her hair.

-o0o-

On the Monday she was working in the office since Gemma was busy with something else. She'd hinted that she'd like to take a couple of weeks vacation and Catherine in return had hinted that she'd have to pay her pretty damn well if she wanted to compensate her for how much she'd earn working in the club. Plus, she'd planned for a vacation herself. A week at a beach somewhere just soaking in the sun. There was no way she'd trade that for working in the filthy office.

But Gemma had stuff to do and Catherine was going through some paperwork in the, now not only filthy but also overheated, office.

"Hey sis," Matt yelled as she came through the door out to the garage. "Since you're such a fucking genius; How can you see through textured glass? Like the stuff they have in office doors and shit."

Catherine halted on her way out of the office, but was still looking down at the paper she had in her hands.

"Even it out so the light doesn't break when it passes through it."

"How?" Jax asked. When she looked up she found they were all looking at her intently.

"We have this guy at school who works with security. Basically testing ours. He could look into our labs using honey and a specimen glass. Really thin glass basically, just a small area so he could film inside. Scared the shit outta the school board." They were all staring at her. "What?"

"You're shitting me?" Matt finally said. "That would work?"

"Yeah. He'd been up their ass about security for quite a while and he did it to prove a point. He's hacked into the computer of a car and remote controlled it once._ That_ was fucking scary."

"Ohh," Juice said and she could see his mind working. "I can see how that would work."

"You're lying," Matt said. "There's no fucking way you can remote control a car."

"Sure you can," Catherine said and sat down next to them. "In newer cars most things are controlled by a central computer. So if you hack into that, you can control the main functions of the car."

Juice's smile was big. "She's right. Fuck, I wish I had seen him do that."

Clay raised his hand. "Don't give a shit about hacking a car at the moment." He turned to Jax. "Take Chibs, Juice and the prospect, try the honey and shit."

This was not good, Catherine concluded. She looked at Matt and he was biting his cheeks, probably at her horrified face.

"What did I do?"

Matt came up to her and kissed her cheek. "Better if you don't know. Don't worry about it. I promise it won't come back and bite you in the ass."

She nodded and walked back into the office. Next time they asked her something she'd just play stupid.

Gemma came back after lunch and Catherine went out to sit at a table in the sun while she read. Trudy came and sat down next to her, handing her a cup of coffee.

"Reading about cats?"

It took Catherine a few seconds before she understood the reference to the cat and the book Piney'd given her for christmas.

"No." She held up the book. "Fast Food Nation. About fast food, though it might put me off burgers and stuff."

"Working?"

"No. Got this extreme urge to go and stuff my face with the biggest meal I can find."

Trudy laughed. "They always save the grossest details for the end to make a bigger impact."

"True." Catherine closed the book and dug through her pockets to find her smokes. "Hear you girls are buying stripper shoes."

"Not me. Sally's sprained ankle acted up for months so I'm not even gonna try. Besides," she said with a shrug. "I don't need it. I got a position, it works for me. I'm not looking for anything more than some good times."

"Why?" Catherine couldn't help herself, she wanted to know why they did this. Or at least why Trudy did it.

"I got a boring job, not much of a family to talk about, no real education. This is my fun." Trudy lit a smoke as well. "Besides, this is a sure way to get sex from tattooed big guys. You know, living on the wild side for a while before I settle down."

"Doesn't it ever... I don't know. Get to you?"

"If it does, I just don't come here for a while. Not like we have a schedule I have to follow. The only ones who's here _all_ the time are the ones hoping to become Old Ladies. They usually don't last for long. Eventually they realize that... they're just a distraction."

"I can see how that would get depressing in the end."

"Most don't last."

"That why I haven't seen Natalie this time around?"

"I think she was getting her hopes up and then... you know, realized it wouldn't happen."

She noticed how Trudy was avoiding meeting her eyes and the times she'd been there, Matt seemed to have preferred Nat; so she assumed that Nat had nurtured some hopes that Matt would start something up with her. She could've told Nat that it wasn't very likely.

There had always been girls around Matt and he'd had a few things that could resemble a relationship, but as far as she knew, he'd never been very serious about any of them. She knew why, she had the same problem. Getting close to someone meant revealing stuff and neither of them were comfortable with that. She'd done it a couple of times with guys, had some friends that she trusted, but they were very few. The idea that he'd do something like that, with a girl who'd done a few laps around all his friends, wasn't very likely at all.

Besides, Matt might like having obedient girls around when he wanted to get some, but the few girls he'd kept closer hadn't been anything like that. They'd been smart girls who gave as good as he did. Catherine didn't say any of that to Trudy.

"Where is she now?"

"She moved to the East coast. Said she might give stripping a shot."

Catherine laughed. "Say 'hi' from me if you talk to her."

"I will."

"The new girls then?"

"I don't even bother until the third time they come here unless I have to. One girl named Kay that seems okay."

"Who was she?"

"The chubby one with nice hair and bad clothes."

"Oh, yeah. The one with Bobby. She didn't really seem to fit in." She'd seen her at Tig's birthday party. Looked like the girl next door. Pretty, sure and great hair, but very out of place.

"Keep in mind that she looks a lot better than the first few times she was here. She's doing okay and she's nice. No Lola."

"Ah, Lola. She was giving me the stink eye, for sure."

"Feel free to mention that to Chibs and Matt. They won't like that." Trudy looked really pleased. "If I'm lucky, she might come at you and then she'll be out on her ass."

"I'll see if I can make her do that."

They sat there and talked until the guys came back from their little experiment. It was nice, that things were just like normal. She liked Trudy and hoped she really was as okay with her role as she seemed to be. She was definitely the girl at the club that she liked the best.

-o0o-

On her last day in Charming she was woken by Chibs kissing her hip. As he moved further up, she turned onto her back and looked at him. His mouth moved over her belly and up to her breasts.

"Morning," he mumbled just before licking her left nipple. "No bad dreams?"

"No." She spread her legs and he moved to lie in between them. Her smile got bigger as he moved further down. "I was thinking about coming back towards the end of the summer as well, for a week or two."

"Like the sound of that," he said and ran his hands up along the back of her legs to cup her behind. "Unless we got some shit coming up, I'll come visit you before that."

"How would you feel about a week in the sun with me? Beach, beer and a babe with ya?"

Chibs moved back up with a big smile and snuck his hand in between them, sneaking his fingers inside her. He leaned down and touched her lips with his.

"Got a bikini?"

"Yup," she spread her legs wider. "Several. One smaller than the others."

"Can we ride to wherever we're going?"

"I'm a woman, can't fit all my shit on a bike." Just then his fingers hit a spot and she tilted her head back and moaned.

"Can't need that much space for bikinis and you'll be naked most of the time if I'm with ya."

"Oh, shit, Chibs."

He latched on to her nipple and any thoughts about vacations in the sun disappeared. His lips left her breast and continued down her body until he was back down between her legs, playing his tongue between her folds while moving his fingers inside her.

She moved her leg over his shoulder and put her hand on the back of his head. He didn't take her all the way. Instead he held her leg in place on his shoulder, moved up, and in the same movement, slid inside her with a groan.

"Damn, girl," he mumbled and grabbed a firm hold on the back of her knee.

She knew what the comment was for; the fact that he didn't have to use a condom. He'd ben ecstatic about it since their first run in the shower and she had to agree that it was better.

"On top," he said, but without missing a beat. "Wanna see ya."

At her nod, he let go of her leg, laid down on top of her and turned around, bringing her with him. She knew what he wanted and sat up so he could get a full view. He kept his hands on her hips and his eyes open with a smile on his lips.

"Fuck, baby. I'm gonna miss ya."


End file.
